Somebody Came
by ponystoriesandothers
Summary: Frisk has been searching for their 'perfect' ending. After completing a genocide run, Chara gives them an opportunity to make such ending. To do this, Frisk will have to put their human best friend through three years of heart-break, make them fall down Mt. Ebott into the world of monsters, then destroy the world. Will Frisk's plan prevail? Will their best friend cope? CRINGE!
1. Prologue

**A/N: So… Undertale fanfic! Really good game. This is an OC story, that sort of replaces the main character, Frisk. Frisk is in it though… obviously (look at this chap). Everyone else will also be in it. Nyeh heh heh! Sorry, I had to do that.**

 **This chapter is the prologue, the end of the genocide route. It's also the only chapter in third person P.O.V. And the only one that focuses mainly on Frisk. This chapter is actually part of the story the main character wrote, but it was written by Frisk themself. The main character wrote the rest themself. It'll make more sense at the end.**

 **Cover's by me, but silverinkstripe on DeviantArt drew an awesome cover. Go check it out! As well as that, I'm also doing art for this story. My DeviantArt is iHateFridays. Lots of stuff there.**

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 **~PROLOGUE~**

Frisk gripped the dust-coated knife in their clenched fingers. The knife that had slaughtered their friends. Their face was empty and pale. It looked like it hadn't emoted for many years. They stood before the entrance to the throne room. It was surrounded by grey walls and grey leaves. A SAVE point was to the right. Frisk saved, filling themself with determination. Determination. The thing that had pushed them this far.

The child walked into the throne room. The floor was covered in a lush garden and random spots of sunlight. Golden flowers were gathered in the middle, surrounded by green leaves. A throne was placed in the center of the room. The King of Monsters was standing before it, back turned. He towered above the small child, but they showed no fear. Fear had long since vanished with their other emotions. They approached him slowly.

"Curious," Asgore observed, watching his garden. "I've never seen a plant… cry before." He seemed to sense Frisk's presence. He turned around and faced them. "...huh?" he asked, not recognizing their humanity. But who would? That seemed just as dead as their friends. "You must be the one that flower just warned me about." He smiled courteously. "Howdy!" He frowned. "Erm… what kind of monster are you…? Sorry, I cannot tell. Well, we can always-"

Frisk ignored his courteous invite and initiated a fight. The old king looked surprised.

"Now, now," he said calmly. "There's no need to fight. Why not settle this… over a nice cup of tea?" Frisk swung their knife. Not this. Not when they were so close. Their single blow almost killed the king. "Why… you…" Little white bullets that were so familiar to Frisk surrounded the king. They closed in and turned him to dust. Only his white, upside-down SOUL was left behind. The bullets closed in… and destroyed the SOUL.

"See?" Flowey- the living golden flower- asked, popping up. He seemed nervous. "I never betrayed you! It was all a trick, see? I was waiting to kill him for you!" His expression changed to his real form's- Asriel's. His dialogue built up speed. "After all it's me your best friend! I'm helpful, I can be useful to you. I promise I won't get in your way!" His voice was shaky. "I can help… I can… I can…" Tears formed in his eyes. "Please don't kill me."

Mercy was nothing to Frisk anymore. Neither was their compassion. They were dead inside. They had nothing left. Nothing but determination. So they did it. They killed Flowey. Mercilessly. They swung until he was nothing. They didn't feel shock, pride, sadness, or happiness. They felt nothing at all. Even a human who killed for malice would feel some sort of emotion. Frisk had gone beyond 'human'. They didn't feel emotion anymore.

A human child with a green-and-yellow-striped sweater appeared in front of them. They had short brown hair and pink cheeks. Their skin was pale.

"Greetings," they greeted Frisk. "I am Chara." There was a brief pause. "Thank you. Your power awakened me from death. My 'human soul'. My 'determination'. They were not mine, but YOURS. At first, I was so confused. Our plan had failed, hadn't it? Why was I brought back to life?" Another pause. "You. With your guidance. I realized the purpose of my incarnation. Power. Together, we eradicated the enemy and became strong. HP. ATK. DEF. GOLD. EXP. LV. Every time a number increases, that feeling… that's me. 'Chara'.

"Now," Chara said, staring intensely at Frisk. "Now, we have reached the absolute. There is nothing left for us here. Let us erase this pointless world, and move on to the next." Frisk, for the first time, felt a slight bit of emotion. Excitement. It seemed they had got the ending they were searching for. They were tired of this world. It would be… exciting to see it gone. They agreed to erase the world.

"Right," Chara approved. "You are a great partner." Their eyes turned into blackness. "We'll be together forever, won't we?" A slash cascaded down the world. And then everything was gone.

Darkness surrounded Frisk. Nothing was there. Nothing. The world was gone. They had destroyed the world. They'd got what they wanted. Their perfect ending. But… something inside them wasn't satisfied. That feeling. That feeling that led them to keep holding on. Keep killing their friends. Reset so many times. It still wasn't satisfied, even after erasing the world.

Chara noticed this feeling. "Interesting," they observed. "You want to go back. You want to go back to the world you destroyed." They paused. "Or is that the reason at all? It seems you are not satisfied with this 'ending'. I've seen what you're doing. You're trying to achieve something 'better'." They paused. "Perhaps. Perhaps… there is a way to get your 'perfect' ending. Perhaps there's something more you can do."

"What's that?" Frisk asked. The little emotion they had allowed them to be intrigued.

"Your best friend," Chara answered. "Your best human friend. They have a strange power. A power no other human has. If you give them your soul… they can help you get your desired ending. You will become powerful. Strong. You will become the god of this world. You will be able to create your perfect ending." Chara paused. They observed Frisk. "It seems you are intrigued. Wonderful. But… there are a few prices you must pay. If this plan is to succeed… you will have to kill your best friend. But… you've killed your others. That won't be hard for you, will it?

"You will have to sacrifice everything for this plan," Chara continued. "If you lose… your SOUL will be trapped down here forever. And if you win…? You may not be satisfied. And you cannot go back if so." They paused. "If you agree to this plan, I will bring back this world. I'll let you return to the Surface to see your best friend… and give your SOUL to them. I'll also explain more about their 'power'. So…" They stared at Frisk. "Will you partake in this plan? If you do, there is no going back."

"Yes." Frisk answered, feeling determination rush through them.

"Then it is done." Chara confirmed.


	2. Don't judge a mountain by its monsters

**A/N: READ THIS: The rest of the story will be in first person P.O.V. It's from the view of the main character... an OC character.** **They have a bit of an interesting/slack way of writing. I hope I don't lose their flow when writing this. They'll probably say something weird along the way that might not make sense to you. Just saying, 'bacon balls' is bad, and 'cheese balls' is good. Most of the time ;) Also, we won't find out their name until later... dun dun.**

 **The main character is a bit different from Frisk, and the two are connected. You'll learn more about them later.**

 **This chapter was posted on my DA, and I'm sure some of you have already read it. If not, cool, it's here! (Note: I changed a few minor things.) And thank you for all the reviews, I'm glad you guys are excited!**

 **P.S- This story will be updated on Saturdays and Tuesdays (or another day depending on where you live). There's a special reason why it's updated on Tuesday, which you'll learn about later...**

* * *

 **~Chapter 1: Don't judge a mountain by its monsters~**

There's two kinds of people in the world, I think: heart people and brain people. In other words, peeps who use their brains more, and peeps who use their hearts more. And not their actual hearts... don't they pump blood around or something?

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm a heart dude. I thought I was a brain dude- y'know, that smarty-farty jazz. But no. Turns out I use my heart _way_ more. But hey, it's not bacon balls being a heart _or_ brain dude. They both have their _uh-ohs!_ and _yipees!_ , and they can be... what's the word... similar, too. This all sounds pretty weird, but once you get it, you get it. If you wanna tell 'em apart, just remember: do you like love or safety more? You gotta think deeply 'bout it, like if you're selfish and all that. But you'll know. I'm a kid (a weird kid, just saying), but you got me on this.

I was getting the flow of all this when I was kicked outta my next family. I'd been kicked out of families before, so I was used to the feels. But this time it felt harder on me. It felt like I had a home, and peeps who loved me, that jazz. It was the closest thing to a cheese balls family I'd had. But no. I was thrown out.

I kinda wanted to cry, give up, or keep looking for a home- garbage or not. The two boys- called the Di Casturoes- I was hanging with were like my big bros. I ran into them when I was kicked outta the fam that came before (the Fennixes). The bros were also having family troubles. They were running away from their parents and going to their uncle's. We hooked up. I was the "lil' sibling" in the group. They were cool beans with the jazz 'bout me not being a boy or girl. Yeah. I'm genderless.

The three of us scrounged 'round, making a little family. My "big brothers" were pretty cool beans. They were kids like me: Corey, the older dude, was twelve. The younger dude, Darius, was ten. I was seven. All the fams I've been in- even my real fam- have a lil' place in my heart, even if they dumped me. Corey and Darius have... I guess the second biggest place, once-upon-a-time having the first. It felt like no jazz would split us up.

But then some weird jazz happened… I can't remember… and they went on their journey without me. I was alone. But I wasn't gonna be bacon balls with 'em. I got it. I didn't deserve love, anyway. Look at what I was.

So, there I was, back on the streets, my 'cheese balls' home. I moved onto the streets when I was, like, five. No. I was... what's the word, _forced_ onto the streets by my parents. My memory was kinda bleh. I didn't get why they'd done it. I just knew they had. Also, it felt like something... was, what's the word... _missing_ from my memory. Like... something that was meant to be there wasn't. But I didn't get it. Not until later.

Anyway. I'll never forget that sec of _ahh!_ , waking up on the streets, alone, scared, all that. All I had was this long, light-brown cloak my real mom used in some movie (she was an actor), and a bottle of chloroform- the stuff that'd knocked me out so my parents could kick me out. I had no fluffing idea what they were for. Also I had no food or water, and I was gonna die and jazz. Well cheese-balls.

I didn't know where to go. 'Cause I was, like, only five (turning six soon) I cried for holy. I called out for my parents, my fam, anyone. But nobody came. That's the first time I was lonely. I didn't get it.

After crying for forevsies (I didn't cry a lot- only when I wasn't 'round others), I went to some doorstep, wearing the cloak. I knocked on the door, still looking all soppy. This lady was there.

"Oh dear!" she cried. "Sweetie… what are you doing here? Where are your parents?"

"Mommy and Daddy are gone," I said, still cheesy. "I'm lost."

"Oh my…" the lady frowned. "I'll call the police and-"

"No!" I yelled. "No police! I… I wanna stay!" My brain told me the cops would take me back to my parents, and then they'd get in trouble, and they'd hate me more.

"You can't stay here," the lady laughed, being all _ehehehe..._ "You have to go to your Mommy and Daddy."

"Mommy and Daddy don't _care_ ," I said. "I don't wanna go to them. I wanna stay _here_."

"Sweetie…" the lady sighed. "Ugh… I'm too soft around children. Alright. You can stay here. But only for a bit."

'A bit' ended up being a few months. The lady got all cheesy with me in 'bout a month. A month later, things... went bacon balls. The lady was acting... like, _ehh_ , when I was 'round. Like I'd done something bacon balls. But I didn't remember doing anything bacon balls. Weird, huh?

"S-sweetie," the lady asked one day. "Where… where did you come from? Where did your parents leave you?"

"Streets." I said, looking out the window. And that's where she dumped me the next day, like my real parents had. Holy crap. So I looked for another family, and the soppy junk repeated. I felt really bacon balls and soppy, but I tried not to fluff 'bout it. I got it. _They hate me_. When the Di Casturoes left me, that was the last pickle in the hen house. I was 'bout ready to say, 'fluff this'.

So I... what's the word, traveled. I didn't know where the fluff I was going. Holy, I could've been goin' to Candyland! That'd be pretty cheese balls, actually... Anyway, after a bit I came to this town near this mountain called Mount Ebott. I felt like I'd seen it before... it was weird. My river didn't flow with it.

I didn't really fluff 'bout the mountain, even though I felt like I'd seen it before. I just wanted to pig out then crash. I hadn't eaten for a few days and I was really hungry (but I was used to that jazz- I'm a cheese balls crash-dieter and I'll eat just 'bout anything). I hung out behind some weird dress shops, only 'cause I found them kinda cheese balls. I'm a weird kid. I like weird stuff.

I ate some trash (yes, real trash). I was pretty hungry so I didn't give a fluff 'bout germs or whatever. I had leftover cookies, salad, that jazz. I didn't wanna get any on my cloak, 'cause that and the chloroform are from my real fam. I didn't fluff 'bout getting jazz on my striped shirt, though- that was from the Di Casturoes, if you wanna know. Birthday present. Ah bacon balls, I'ma start crying... Nah, I'm cool beans.

After 'dinner'- some old fish and chips- I decided to suss out town. I went into the dress shops- I didn't buy anything 'cause I had no money. Then I went to the info joint. There was all that tourist stuff, like magnets and brochures. I looked at the brochures. I saw some were for jazz like flying foxes and fun parks. I felt soppy 'cause I'd never been to a fun park. I'm a weird kiddy, but I'm still a kiddy. Fun's cheese balls.

Then I saw this one 'bout Mt. Ebott, the mountain... that part of me knew 'bout. It said some jazz 'bout 'the disappearing children', and 'underworld monsters'. I wasn't into fantasy and all that... but holy crap, I felt like reading for some reason. I opened the brochure. It was talking 'bout the 'myth of the monsters' or some jazz.

" _Stories say that many years ago_ ," it read. " _Humans and monsters lived peacefully together. Then, one day, there was a war between them. The humans won and banished the monsters under the mountain. The monsters were furious and cursed the mountain. All children that have climbed up have never been seen again_."

 _Fake!_ I thought. _Monsters. Really, peeps?_ It sounded pretty dumb to me. _Monsters aren't real_ , I thought. _Probably just some bacon balls story someone made up to keep peeps off the mountain. The kiddies probably just fell off or something_. I looked at Mt. Ebott. I felt weird. _But what if it is real?_ I thought. _What if monsters are real?_ That part of me that knew 'bout the mountain felt weird. _I don't get it._

* * *

The rest of the day I hung out, looking for food or extra cash. I found a few bucks and some old fried chicken behind a KFC. Not really... what's the word, healthy.

I slept behind the weird dress shop. Actually, I didn't really sleep. For some reason, I kept thinking 'bout the monsters. I told myself a gazillion times it was just a bunch of stories, but they wouldn't go away. It was like someone was tryna tell me something. It drove me nuts. And I was starting to believe it.

The next day I thought 'bout what I was gonna do. I thought 'bout moving in with another family, somewhere out here. But I freaked and thought they'd dump me, like everyone else. I was used to that feeling, 'course, but I was getting tired of it. Tired of getting dumped. Y'know... 'cause of my heartache from the Di Casturoes. So I thought I'd wait a bit before I went family-hunting. I didn't truly wanna give up. My heart wouldn't let that.

I got bored, so I sussed out the town again. There wasn't anything new or awesome-sauce. I looked at Mt. Ebott. I thought 'bout the monsters. I thought they were, like, bacon balls... er, thingos, who did bacon balls things to kids. The thought made me freak. I told myself again that monsters weren't real. But I was feeling... itchy...? I wanted to go to Mt. Ebott. Nah. I _had_ to go to it.

I got closer to Mt. Ebott. It was pretty big. I frowned. _I'll never find a loving family,_ I thought _. Who cares if I never come back?_ I sighed. _No one will ever fluff 'bout me… They all just chuck me out._

 _Alrighty dite_ , I decided. _I'm going up this... holy crap, that's big! Mountain._

I put pics from my times with the Di Casturoes, my chloroform, other thingos from other fams, and some old biscuits from the bin in my pockets. I didn't know how long I'd be up there, but I didn't think it'd be long. I'd just go for a lil' looksy, and I'd be off in a few mins. Jazz didn't go to plan.

I went up this big path, ignoring signs saying, 'BEWARE'. Whatever. I looked at the tall trees and bushes, looking out for anything bacon balls. Nothing... yet. Halfway up the mountain I had a snack break and ate some of my biscuits. Then I went back to my journey, looking at the grass growing on the mountain, the _bleh_ rocks, all that. Nothing _holy crap!_ or even _uh oh_. _This mountain's not so bacon balls_ , I thought. _Why's everyone scared of it?_

I decided 'cause I wasn't finding jazz, I'd go back and laugh it off. I was 'bout to do that when I saw this scary cave. It stood out from all the trees and jazz. Like a rocky hill. I looked inside. There were plants… and some kind of opening? _Weird_.

My... scared-ness didn't want me to go in. My brain was all like, _yah, scared-ness' right_. But my heart was all like, _what's not cheese balls 'bout a cave?_ I wondered if there were monsters in there. Scary monsters that ate soppy kiddies like me…

 _Holy, dude_ , I thought angrily. _Monsters aren't real!_ I was filled with determination as I looked at the cave. I wanted to know I was spot on the mark: no monsters. So slowly, I went into the cave, seeing all this dark jazz. It felt scary and stuff. I didn't feel cool beans anymore. But my heart was like, _go on, dude._

I came to an opening where there were lots of plants and stuff. It was pretty awesome-sauce; some of the plants looked like they came outta fairy tales. I went near 'em. They were really pretty. _So cheese balls… and no monsters!_ Then my foot got stuck in a vine.

"Bacon balls," I said. I shook my foot, tryna get it free. But I just got more stuck. So I used my hands. I finally got free, but it took alotta work, so I was flung backwards. I landed on a stick. 'Cause it saved me and all, I kept it.

I got up, deciding it was bacon balls to hang in the cave anymore. I walked a bit. Looking at it now, the next act I'm pretty cheese balls of. It's a dumb act, yeah, but it changed my life forever. You'll see.

I tripped over a vine. This time, the stick couldn't save me. I fell into this scary hole, freaking out. It was like the freak I felt when my parents dumped me: what's the word, helplessness. I didn't know what was going on. I was fluffing scared. I was sure I was gonna die. I was still thinking that when I landed.

For a few secs, I only felt pain. Questions were all over the joint. _Am I dead? Where am I? What happened? How do I get out?_ I stood up, feeling all _whoa!_ I hadn't broken anything 'cause I landed on some buttercups. And then I started freaking again.

 _Okay, chill_ , I thought. _I've… I've fallen down here._ _Into this… place. Is this where the kids went?_ I shrugged. _Are there monsters here?_ I frowned. _Monsters aren't real. Nah, it looks like some old soppy cave. It's probably part of a mine or whatever. Maybe I have something that can help me._ I looked in my bag. My cloak and chloroform were there, but my biscuits had been... what's the word, crushed. I also had my stick. _Well, cheese balls. No food. I'm dead._ I sighed. _I should suss this joint out…_

I sussed out the cave, coming to a lil' tunnel. In there was a weird-looking gate. I went into it, thinking 'bout where it'd take me. It took me to a very dark room with a spotlight. The spotlight was shining on this flower with a smiley face and yellow petals.

"What the fluff…" I said, freaking. _This is a dream, it's gotta be a dream!_

"Howdy!" the flower said, all cheese balls. _It talks?!_ "I'm Flowey, Flowey the Flower! Hmm… you're new to the Underground, aren't cha?"

"Uh…" I had no fluffs 'bout what to say. _This dream's bacon balls! I wanna wake up!_

"Golly, you must be so confused!" Flowey laughed. "Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do. Ready? Here we go!" Then something weird went on. A red heart flew outta my body, chilling in front of me.

"What in fluff's name!?" I freaked. _Wake up!_

"See that heart?" Flowey asked. He smiled. "That is your SOUL, the very cumulation of your being!" He gasped. "Wow, that's a strong SOUL you got there! Especially for a beginner! It's almost the power of two SOULS!"

 _Strong soul_ , I thought. _That's cheese balls... right?_

"Normally, your soul starts off weak," Flowey went on. "Yours is already very strong, but that doesn't mean it can't get stronger! For that, you'll need LV! What's LV? Why, LOVE, of course! You want some LOVE, don't you?"

 _I just wanna wake up!_

"Don't worry!" Flowey said happily. "I'll share some with you!" Weird little bullets popped up 'round his head. "Down here, LOVE is shared through little white... 'friendliness pellets'!"

 _Uh… alrighty dite, then..._

"Are you ready?" Flowey asked. "Move around! Get as many as you can!" _Uh, cool beans,_ I thought. I moved my SOUL near the 'friendliness pellets'. I touched one. This, what's it called, bar called 'HP' went down, even though I had, like, 99 HP. I felt... what's the word, hurt and stuff, so I guessed 'HP' was my health. _Why's this dream so weird?!_ I looked at Flowey's face. It was SCARY.

"You idiot," Flowey said scarily. "In this world, it's kill or BE killed! Why would _anyone_ pass up an opportunity like this?"

"Wake up, wake up!" I cried, pulling my brown hair. I pinched myself. Nothing happened. 'Friendliness pellets' were around my SOUL. I freaked.

" **DIE**." Flowey screamed. The pellets came pretty close. I freaked. Then, like _poof_ , my HP was cool beans and the pellets went away. Flowey was hit by this fireball. I- holy crap- was freaked out.

 _Holy crap,_ I thought _. What's going on?! Why won't I wake up?!_

"What a terrible creature," a lady's voice said. "Terrorizing such a poor, pure, innocent youth." The voice came from a monster, who looked like a goat. She was wearing a dress, stood on two legs, and was pretty tall. _A monster?!_ I thought, freaking. _Holy holy holy! Monsters! They're real!_

"Ack!" I freaked, falling on my butt. Cheese balls move. I held up my stick, and was like, _don't touch me!_

"Ah, do not be afraid, my child," the monster said. "I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place everyday to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come down here in a long time."

 _Holy holy holy_ , I thought. "Are you a monster?"

"Yes, my child," Toriel nodded. "Come! I will guide you through the catacombs." Too late. I'd already passed out.


	3. I play the mercy game

**A/N: To make things less confusing, here's a little dictionary to define all of the protagonist's slang words. Here we go!**

 **Cheese balls = good, fantastic, great, wonderful, happy, etc.**

 **Bacon balls = bad, terrible, awful, etc.**

 **Cool beans = okay, content, etc.**

 **Fluff/fluffing = it's a word like the f-bomb, I guess. It also means to care about something.**

 **Soppy = sad, upset, depressing, etc.**

 **Flow (with my river) = To go with the flow, pretty much.**

 **Cheesy = affectionate, caring, love, etc.**

 **Freak = to be scared by something.**

 **Suss out = explore, check, etc.**

 **Joint = place, area, etc.**

 **Some of the words are slang words, and others are self-explanatory. If there's anymore words you're confused with, let me know. Thing two: did you notice Frisk wasn't mentioned at all last chapter? Well, we'll get some insight on that this chapter. Okay, read on!**

* * *

 **~Chapter 2: I play the mercy game~**

I woke up in a bedroom. For a sec, I felt all _huh?_ _What happened?_ I looked around. _Oh yeah… I had a dream. A weird dream. About monsters under a mountain… ha ha._ I blinked. _How'd I get into a bedroom? Maybe I'm still with the Bakers. But... what about the Di Casturoes and the Fennixes? They were after 'em… so where the fluff am I?_

"Are you awake, innocent one?" a lady's voice asked. Toriel walked in. I freaked.

"Holy holy holy!" I cried. "Monsters… monsters are _real_?!"

Toriel laughed. "You passed out, my child. I brought you here and let you sleep. Hopefully you are feeling better."

 _Holy crap,_ I thought. "What's going on?! How... How'd I get here?" Then I remembered Flowey and how he tried to kill me and jazz.

Toriel looked away. "You fell down, small one. I am not sure how." She paused. "Are you able to walk?"

 _Hope so_. I stood up and felt cheese balls. So I walked around, did some dancing (well, not really, but I did do some _nuts_ dancing later on) and all that. Toriel looked cool beans.

"Very good," she said. "Now, allow me to show you around the catacombs. Unless you wish to rest longer."

"No, I'm cool beans." I said. _Holy_ , I thought. _What's she gonna do to me? Monsters are bacon balls, right? Maybe I can pull a runner or something..._

"Follow me." Toriel said. We left the bedroom and went... what's the word, through a cheesy lil' house. I got a few feels from the times I hung with the Bakers, 'cause they also had a cheese balls home. And bacon balls kids, but that's another story.

We got to the Ruins. The walls and floor were purple and there were lots of puzzles. Toriel showed me how to do some puzzles. Then she took me to another room which was bigger.

"To make progress here," she said. "You will need to trigger several switches. Do not worry, I have labelled the ones that you need to flip."

"Um… cool beans." I said. _This place is nuts... how am I gonna get out?_ I went after Toriel, passing some rivers and bridges. Toriel had _really_ labelled some switches. I pressed 'em. Spikes that were blocking the path to the next room went away.

"Splendid!" Toriel said. "I am proud of you, little one. Let us move to the next room." She walked off, leaving me alone. _Huh, that was easy,_ I thought. _And she looks cheese balls… more than other peeps._ I face-palmed. _What are you talking about?! You can't get all cheesy with her! Don't be dumb. She'll hate you soon. They all will... And plus, she's a monster! Monsters are evil… right?_ I paused. _Part of me... is saying she's cheese balls. Part of me feels like it's been here before. I don't get it_. I went after Toriel.

"As a human living in the Underground," Toriel said. She was near a training dummy. "Monsters may attack you."

 _Well that's just cheese balls_ , I thought. It scared me, 'cause I didn't really wanna fight anyone. I'm a **pacifist** (and a coward). Monsters, yeah, they may've been 'evil' and jazz, but I was like, _no ouchies for anyone!_ And Toriel seemed cheese balls. _Stop being cheesy!_

"You will need to be prepared for this situation," Toriel said. "However, worry not! The process is simple: when you encounter a monster, you will enter a fight. While you are in a fight, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict." She looked at the dummy. "Practice talking to the dummy."

 _Talking to a dummy?_ I thought. _Cheese balls! I wonder if the dummy's alive._ Don't call me weird- I'd met a talking flower and a goat lady. I went up to the dummy. My SOUL came outta my body again.

"Err…" I looked around, what's the word, awkwardly. "Um… hey, Dummy. How's your day going?"

The dummy didn't really wanna chat me up. Well holy. But Toriel looked cool beans, so I left the battle. Toriel gave me congrats and took me to another room. I had to do another puzzle. I was a little _uh, what?_ So I left the room, see if I could find some clues or something. I ran into Froggit, my soul doing its thing.

"Uh…" I said. _What do I do? It looks a lil' soppy... I'll say something cheese balls to it._ "I like your eyes!" Froggit didn't get what I said, but was cheese balls anyway. Toriel showed up before it fell in love with me. And I won no gold or EXP. Oh yeah, you could get gold and buy stuff. EXP... is something else. I had, like, 99 EXP for some reason. And HP. 99 HP. And 99 ATK.

Toriel took me to the next puzzle. It was this spike maze. She held my hand and led me through it, 'cause there was no way I could do it solo. The next room was some kinda... what's the word, challenge.

"I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself," Toriel said. "Forgive me for this." She ran off, leaving me solo.

"Toriel…?" I asked. _Bacon balls_ , I thought soppily. _She's left me behind already. I knew it!_ I sighed and started walking with a fake smile. It wasn't the scariest thing I'd done. I'm pretty self-cool-beans, aka 'independent'. (Well, I like to _think_ I am. Probably the only thing I liked 'bout myself). Doesn't mean I _like_ being lonely. I like hanging with my pals. I'm saying I'm _used_ to being lonely, 'cause I was dumped and all. Heh...

Anyway, I got to the end of the room. Toriel came out from behind a pillar.

"Greetings, my child," she said. "Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. However, there was an important reason for this exercise… to test your independence."

"Actually…" I said. "I'm pretty self-cool-beans. You don't need to fluff 'bout me." _Why would you? Why would anyone?_

Toriel was a bit _whoa!_ by that. I hoped she was cool beans. "Er... how wonderful, my child. I must attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while. Please remain here. It's dangerous to explore by yourself, even if you are… as independent as you say. You are still a child."

 _Yeah_ , I thought. _A bacon balls child. I'm not self-cool-beans at all..._

"I'll be cool beans, Toriel." I said. _It still feels like part of me's been here before..._

"I have an idea," Toriel said. She gave me a phone that looked really old. "I know you say you will be fine, and you are independent, but… just in case, I will give you a cell phone. If you have a need for anything, just call." She smiled. "Be good, alright?" Then she left, leaving me solo. I put the cell phone in my bag with my chloroform and cloak. I call it my 'Lady of the Wind' cloak 'cause my real mom played that dude in... whatever movie it was.

I thought 'bout what I should do. Getting out was pretty high on my list, but I didn't know where to go. _Maybe I can suss this joint out?_ I went with that, hoping Toriel wouldn't find out. _What if she does? Oh holy, I'd be dead!_ Now I was freaking. Then I got an idea: _I'll call her and act all cheese balls, so she thinks I'm being a goody-two-shoes. She won't know then!_

I got out my phone and called Toriel. While it was ringing, I thought 'bout Darius Di Casturo. Could I call him, too? He'd given me his number. _Nah_ , I thought. _He's in the past… if I call him I'll get all soppy. It probably won't work, anyway._

"This is Toriel." Toriel's voice came from the phone.

"Oh… uh, I just wanted to say hello." I said dumbly.

"You only wanted to say hello…?" Toriel asked. She laughed. "Well then. 'Hello'! I hope that suffices. Hee hee." She hung up.

 _That went bacon balls!_ I sighed. _Alrighty dite… I'll ask her 'bout herself, then I'll get some info!_ So I called her again. "'Sup, Toriel. Can you… uh, tell me 'bout yourself?"

"You want to know more about me?" Toriel asked. I'm pretty sure she was smiling. "Well, I am afraid there is not much to say. I am just a silly old lady who worries too much!"

"Sometimes I worry too," I said. _Way more than 'sometimes'._ "And I'm not a silly old lady… what am I? I'm a boy teen, I think. Wait, that's not it…"

Toriel laughed. "You are a funny child." She hung up.

 _You dumbo!_ I frowned. I did some more walking. _I'm not a boy teen! I'm a middle-aged lady! Wait... that's not it either!_ I get weird on phones. _Really_ weird.

I went into the next room. Toriel called and told me to be, what's the word, careful and stuff, like a caring parent. Holy cheese balls, the more I talked to her, the more my heart was all like, _I love this monster!_ My brain wasn't cheese balls. Why? My brain wanted me to hate- not hurt- everyone, so I didn't like 'em. Heh. Cheese balls brain.

I played with some leaves and was filled with determination. Oh yeah, forgot to say: during the trip (or journey, I guess), I got filled with determination for doing random stuff, like running through leaves. It's to do with SAVE points and jazz. I didn't get it then. I wouldn't get it 'till later. Anyway, I went through some more rooms, passing lots of red leaves. A little dude called Whimsun came up to me. I tried to chill it out by telling it how I lived with no food for, like, a week. It got so cheesy it ran away. What an awesome-sauce dude!

I did some more sussing out. I found items, food and more puzzles. Toriel called again. She asked if I liked butterscotch or cinnamon more. I thought 'bout it. Confectionery vs spice. Well, I'm a kid, so you'd think I'd go with the candy. But I'm a _weird_ kiddy.

"Cinnamon." Toriel was cool beans with that and hung up. I wondered why she asked 'bout what's more cheese balls. I shrugged it off and walked. Toriel called a few secs later.

"Hello? This is Toriel." she said. "You do not dislike butterscotch, do you?"

"Nah, I'm cool beans." I said. I'll eat anything but bacon and granny smith apples.

"Oh, good," Toriel said. She laughed. "Thank you for being patient. Bye!" She hung up.

"Alrighty dite then…" I said, shrugging. I did another puzzle. It was this maze one with all these red hedges. I met a jelly dude named Moldsmal, did some sexy wiggling with it ( _wiggle wiggle wiggle_ \- just a song joke), then _let it go_ (more song jokes!). Then I did _another_ (not a song joke) puzzle, and pushed some rocks. The rocks thought I was bacon balls, but eh, I thought I was bacon balls too. Some Froggits were like, _yeah, us too_.

I did my determination thingo near this mouse's cheese, then moved on. I ran into this ghost who was blocking my path.

"Zzzzzz." they said, fake-sleeping. _Kinda feel like crashing myself_ , I thought.

"Err…" I said awkwardly. "I can see you're faking that."

"Oh no…" the ghost said. I got into battle with them. They cried on me. I don't like being cried on, holy crap, ghost! They looked kinda soppy, so I decided to make them not soppy by smiling at them. Napstablook (that's the ghost) liked that, and felt too lazy to attack me. Or just soppy. They were still a little _err_ , so I told 'em a joke that Junior Baker told me (one of those bacon balls Bakers kids).

"What's a ghost's favourite fruit?" I asked. " _Boo_ berries!" I felt like _booing_ my own joke. Wink wink.

"Heh heh…" Napstablook said. They cried me on again. I got a lil' hurt. A little. But I was cool beans. I decided to be cheese balls with Napstablook again. They wanted to show me something.

"Alrighty dite," I said. "Blow me away."

A dapper hat popped onto Napstablook's head. "I call it dapper blook... Do you like it?"

"Holy crap!" I cried. I shrugged. "It's cheese balls, Napstablook."

Napstablook looked cool beans. "I usually come to the Ruins because there's nobody around… but today I met somebody nice…"

"Um, thanks…" I said. I'm not cheese-balls at taking cheese balls words, aka compliments. Yeah, I'm a nuts kid..

"Oh, I'm rambling again..." Napstablook said. "I'll get out of your way." They left, letting me go on. So I did. _What a cheese balls ghost_ , I thought. _Wow… peeps are pretty awesome-sauce down here. Even if some aren't cheese balls to me. Maybe they will be… nah, nah they won't._

I did some more sussing out and Toriel called me again.

"'Sup?" I said.

Toriel said, "Hello! This is Toriel. I just realized it has been awhile since I last cleaned up. I was not expecting to have company so soon. There are probably a lot of things lying about here and there."

"Free stuff?" I asked. "Awesome-sauce!"

Toriel laughed. "You may call them that, my child. But do not carry more than you need. Someday you might see something you really like. You will want to leave room in your pockets for that."

"Cool beans," I said. "Thanks, Toriel." Toriel hung up. I came to another puzzle, flirted with some monsters, all that jazz. I'm pretty sure Moldsmal was, like, in love with me, but I didn't really want any jelly babies. I'd eat them all. (Get the joke? Jelly babies? Like the candy?)

Anyway, in one of the puzzles, I met Napstablook again. They were hanging out on some leaves.

"I fell down a hole..." they said. "Now I can't get up… go on without me…" They paused. "Wait... ghosts can fly, can't they..." They left.

"Holy," I said after a few secs. "Kinda wish I could do that." I did the puzzle and moved on. There was another puzzle that I could somehow read, even though my hair was, like, in front of my eyes. Guess it's 'cause I'm fabo.

I did that puzzle (it was hard if you wanna know), and fought another monster. Monsters were pretty cheese balls, even though they were fighting me and jazz. This dude named Loox was cheese balls. I didn't pick on it and we became pals. There ya go!

I found the joint where Toriel was. There was this big tree and some red leaves near it.

"Oh dear," Toriel said. "That took longer than I thought it would." She saw me. "How did you get here, my child? Are you hurt?"

"Yeah, I feel a little bacon balls." I said. _Nah, I've got, like, 99 HP. I dunno how._

"There, there," Toriel said, all cheese balls. "I will heal you." She frowned. "I should not have left you alone for so long. It was irresponsible to try to surprise you like this."

"I was cool beans, Toriel, really. I'm, like, the solo... master." I said. _Yeah, sure._

Toriel sighed. "I am sorry, my child. I worry far too much. You are just… so _young_. Do you not live with someone on the surface?"

"Yeah, sort of," I said. _I don't live with anyone. I don't have anyone. I'm just a bacon balls... loser_. I looked away. "But don't worry 'bout me." _No one does, no one should._ "So... why'd you go out?"

"Ah," Toriel smiled. "Well, I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come, small one!" She walked off. I went after her, doing my determination near her joint. It felt cheese balls going back in there. It was an awesome-sauce joint. Toriel was hanging out inside. "Do you smell that?" she asked. "Surprise! It is a Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie. I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I want you to have a nice time living here."

"Oh… heh, it's cool beans," I said. "I'm nothing spesh." _I'm nothing at all._

"I am sure you will enjoy yourself, my child," Toriel said. "You have already seen your room. You may return to it if you wish and sleep."

"Yeah, I feel like crashing," I said. I thought for a sec. "Thanks... Mom." Toriel smiled at me again. I went to my room. It was red with a little bed and toys hanging out. There were some dusty shelves and jazz, but I didn't fluff with those. I sat on the bed and thought. _Why's Toriel- Mom- being so cheese balls to me? I don't deserve all this… Holy... I'm calling her 'Mom'. What if she's evil? What if she hates me? Everyone does._ I didn't know anymore. I decided to risk it for a chocolate biscuit (random saying) and sleep.

* * *

I had a few weird dreams. But they were hard to see. I just saw... me, I think, doing bacon balls stuff. It was scary. This voice said, " **Here at last.** "

I woke up. I wasn't dead. There was some Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie on the floor, so I got that. I didn't really fluff 'bout my dream. I just thought it was weird. And scary. My room got kinda boring so I went outside. Toriel was on a big chair, reading a book.

"Up already, I see?" she asked. She went a little _uh…_ "Um, I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favourite bug-hunting spot. I've also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you… but I have always wanted to be a teacher." She frowned. "Actually, that isn't very surprising. STILL, I am glad to have you living here. Oh, did you want something?"

I thought 'bout it. Monsters were pretty cheese balls. Humans were all _get lost!_ and had, what's the word, shoved 'em into the Underground. Then me- a human kid- shows up, and they're all like, _hey, dude! Come and have some pie!_ And they weren't, what's the word, trapping me or anything (they were kinda fighting me, though- but I was super strong so not too bacon balls). It felt… cheese balls. _Really_ cheese balls. But I'm human and I couldn't hang with a bunch of monsters. _Like they'd like me anyway._ Part of me wanted to leave too, but to do some other jazz... a plan, or something. I dunno.

"When can I go home?" I asked.

"What?" Toriel said, looking _ehh_. "This… this IS your home now. Um… would you like to hear about this book I am reading? It is called, _72 Uses for Snails_. How about it?"

"Sounds cheese balls, Toriel," I said. "I'd love to- hey, hold on!" I looked away. "Mom, you're awesome-sauce and cheese balls and all that jazz. And humans are kinda bacon balls. But… I need to go back to 'em. I can't stay here. So... how do I leave the Ruins?"

Toriel paused, then frowned. "... I have to do something. Stay here." She walked off quickly.

"Mom? Toriel?" I asked. I went after her and saw this big staircase. I went down it and came to a purple... what's it called, basement. Scary. I saw Toriel there, looking ahead.

"You wish to know how to return 'home', do you not?" she asked. "Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins: a one-way exit to the rest of the Underground." She paused. "I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave again. Now be a good child and go upstairs." She walked off.

"I _can't_ stay down here, Mom," I said. "I've gotta go!" _Do I...?_ I ran and found Toriel again.

She sounded a little scary. "Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave. They die."

 _Like I have much to lose_ , I thought. I looked at Toriel. "C'mon, Toriel!"

Toriel frowned. "You naive child… If you leave the Ruins… they… Asgore… will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand? Go to your room." She walked off again.

 _Humans, you bacon balls peeps_ , I thought. _I'm doing this for you!_ I went after Toriel. I ignored what she told me. We got to the exit: this big purple door.

"You want to leave so badly?" Toriel asked, not looking at me. "Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this." She looked at me.

"Uh… Toriel?" I asked, getting a bacon balls feeling.

"Prove to me you are strong enough to survive." Toriel said. The lights went all dark. I was pulled into battle with Mom. Toriel. Tori. Whatever you call her! I hadn't known her that long, but I was already soppy.

"Mom!" I cried. _Think of something to say, dumbo!_ I couldn't. That was bacon balls. Mom threw some fireballs at me. "Holy crap, Mom!" I jumped outta the way like I was doing some crazy dance (no, not the dancing I talked 'bout before- that's a _lot_ later). I wasn't gonna fight and I couldn't talk for some dumb reason. So I played the mercy game. Again and again. Like, every turn. I got a bit hurt from all the fireballs (but- I was, like, super strong, so not really). Toriel was like, _whoa, kiddy!_

"I know you want to go home, but…" she said. "But please… go upstairs." Mercy game. Toriel smiled. "I promise to take good care of you here."

 _Mom..._

Toriel went on, "I know we do not have much, but… We can have a good life here!"

"Mom, that all sounds cheese balls, but please…" I said. I wasn't scared 'bout that dying thing. I was super strong and jazz. I just didn't wanna go. I didn't wanna go on some dumb adventure. I didn't wanna fight monsters. I didn't wanna fight that Asgore dude. I didn't wanna get heart-broken. I just wanted to stay with Mom. But... _You must go for the plan_ , a kinda quiet and scary voice said.

"Why are you making this so difficult?" Toriel asked soppily. "Please, go upstairs."

"I _have_ to go, Mom." I said, feeling soppy myself. In my heart, I knew that I had to go. _To make a better place_ , the quiet voice said. Yeah, that. I didn't get what it was saying. But I wanted to flow with it. That part of me felt strong... It was that part of me that really wanted to leave...

"Ha ha…" Toriel said, looking away. "Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single child."

"You saved me _before_ ," I said. "And you can save me again by letting me go." _If you love me let me goooo!_ a voice in my head sung.

Toriel sighed. "If that is what you really feel…" She looked away again. "I will put away my expectations, my hope, my fear… for you, my child... aside." She looked at the door. "If you truly wish to leave the Ruins, I will not stop you. However, when you leave…" She made a face. "Please do not come back. I hope you understand."

"Yeah, I get it…" I said. _Dumping me, like everyone else. I knew this'd happen… alrighty dite, focus on getting outta here, not being soppy._ I smiled at Mom. "You're cheese balls, Mom."

Mom smiled. She gave me a big hug which felt… cheese balls. Been forevsies since someone had hugged me.

"Goodbye, my child." Mom said. She walked off, looking back once. I felt a bit soppy, but looked away. It wasn't the first time I had to say bye. I looked at the door.

"Well," I said. "Holy cheese balls… here I come, Underground." I went through the door. I went through lots of tunnels and jazz and ran into Flowey. He looked pretty bacon balls.

"Clever," he said. "Verryy clever. You think you're really smart, don't you? Being a replacement. They're putting all their pressure on you, and you think you're coping so well."

 _What's he going on about?_

"I bet you feel so special, so _great_ ," Flowey went on. "Because you saved a single soul, and you have high EXP. But once you learn about what you really are… well." He laughed. "You'll see this world's nothing but torture. You'll see you're nothing but a PUPPET. You'll stop being so nice. Because of what your _best friend_ did to you and will do to this world!"

"My best friend...?" I asked. "Do to this world...?" I was, what's the word, confused.

"You idiot!" Flowey said, looking scary. "In this world, it's kill or BE killed. Once Frisk comes... you'll learn what you are." Then he left. I didn't say anything for a few secs. I was fluffed up. _What the cheese balls was he talking 'bout? Who's Frisk?_ I didn't know. It was bacon balls. Feeling weird, I went ahead and left the Ruins.


	4. Super Scary Skele-bros

**~Chapter 3: Super Scary Skele-bros~**

 _Holy crap, it's cold!_ I thought. I was in a forest that had lots of trees and snow. And a camera in the bushes, but I didn't fluff with that. _Maybe I should put my Lady of the Wind cloak on,_ I thought. _Nah, it'll get snow boogies._ I walked a bit. _Part of me feels like it's been here, too_. A stick broke behind me. I freaked and walked a little faster. I thought I heard someone fluffing around, so I moved faster again. I stopped in front of a bridge. I heard scary footsteps behind me.

"Human," this scary voice said. _Oh bacon balls_ , I thought. "Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand." _Risk it for a chocolate biscuit!_ I slowly turned around and saw this shadowy dude. He held out his hand. I shook it. I heard a fart sound. _What the holy crap?!_

"heh heh," the dude laughed. He was a skeleton, a bit bigger than me. He was wearing a blue hoodie I think it's called, striped shorts, and slippers. He looked cheese balls. "the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's ALWAYS funny." I shrugged. "anyway, you're a human, right?"

 _What else?_ I thought. "Yeah. That's me. You?"

"i'm sans," the skeleton said. "sans the skeleton." He smiled. "i'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… y'know… i don't really care about capturing anybody."

 _Thank cheese balls!_

"now my brother, papyrus," Sans went on. "he's a human-hunting FANATIC."

 _Fluff you, cheese balls!_

"hey, actually, i think that's him over there," Sans said. "i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone."

"Cool beans." I said. We walked past the bridge to this snowy joint with a sentry station. Or whatever it's called.

"quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp," Sans said, looking at a lamp. It was just like me. Maybe more... lamp-like. I went behind the lamp and hung out. Another dude came over, but I didn't see 'em 'cause I was hiding. Sans said, "'sup, bro?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT 'SUP', BROTHER!" a very loud voice said. _Holy crap!_ I thought. _I guess this is Papyrus_. "IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T… RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"

"staring at this lamp," Sans said. "it's really cool." _Yeah, it is_ , I thought. "do you wanna look?"

"NO!" Papyrus said angrily. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?!" _Not likely_ , I thought. _Wait a sec…_ "I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!" I looked out from behind my lamp. I saw Papyrus standing all cheese balls, his scarf, what's the word, flowing. He was bigger than Sans and wore a... superhero outfit...? "THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION… I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO BE MY… FRIEND? I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING!"

"hmm…" Sans said. "maybe this lamp will help you." _Cheese balls idea!_ I thought. _Wait…_

"SANS!" Papyrus went on. "YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERYDAY!"

"hey, take it easy," Sans said. "i've gotten a ton of work done today. a _skele_ -ton." He winked. _Not too bacon balls!_ I thought.

"SANS!" Papyrus said angrily.

"come on," Sans said. "you're smiling."

"I AM AND I HATE IT!" Papyrus said. He sighed. "WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION…"

"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself..." Sans smiled. "down to the bone."

"UGH!" Papyrus cried. "I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES… AS FOR YOUR WORK… PUT A LITTLE MORE…" He smiled. " _BACKBONE_ INTO IT! NYEH HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!" He ran off. And came back once. "HEH!"

"okay, you can come out now." Sans said. I came out, feeling very _whoa!_

"Holy cheese balls," I said. I smiled. "You two are awesome-sauce!" _You're kinda like the Di Casturoes!_ I thought. What's the word, suddenly it felt harder to smile.

"thanks, kid," Sans said. "you'd better run along, before he comes back." He winked. "or you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes."

"Now _that_ would be bacon balls." I said, walking off.

"actually, hey," Sans said. "hate to bother ya, can you do me a favour?"

"Roll it in." I said, looking at Sans.

"i was thinking…" he said. "my brother's been kind of down lately. he's never seen a human before, and seeing you might just make his day. don't worry, he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be." I was cool beans. "thanks a million. i'll be up ahead." I thought I heard him quietly say some jazz like, "so, this is your plan, kid?" Then he walked to the wrong joint. I shrugged it off and went right. I filled my determination and found a box. I couldn't really do anything with it so I moved on. I ran into Snowdrake on the way. He made a really bacon balls ice pun. I laughed at it.

"See?!" Snowdrake said. "Laughs! Dad was wrong!" I spared him. I did a little sussing out and found a fishing rod. Someone's number was on it. _Holy crap no!_ I walked off and ran into Icecap. I told it its cap was cheese balls, spared it, then did some more sussing out. I found Sans and Papyrus, who were doing their thing.

"SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE," Papyrus said. He saw me. Sans did too. They looked back and forth from each other (and me) 'bout a gazillion times. Then they stopped. "SANS! OH MY GOD… IS THAT… A HUMAN?!" They looked at me.

"uhhh… actually, i think that's a rock." Sans said, looking at a rock behind me.

"Yeah, that's a rock," I said. "Cheese balls rock. What's in front of it?"

"OH MY GOD!" Papyrus cried. He looked at Sans and asked quietly, "(IS... IS THAT A HUMAN?)"

"(yes.)" Sans said quietly.

"OH MY GOD!" Papyrus cried again. He looked at me.

 _Cheese balls intro_ , I thought. "Hey, I'm the human. 'Sup?"

"SANS! I FINALLY DID IT!" Papyrus said. "UNDYNE WILL… I'M GONNA… I'LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!"

" _Pop-u-lar_!" I sang that song by the Veronicas. "I mean… go on."

"HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA!" _Well, bacon balls_ , I thought. "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN!" He frowned. "I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT… IN ANY CASE, CONTINUE… ONLY IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" He ran off.

"I'm not dead, right?" I asked Sans.

"nah, you'll be fine, kid," he said. "i'll keep an eye socket out for ya." He winked and walked off. I shrugged and walked off myself, when someone rung me.

"U-uhhh," the someone said. "(Oh my god, help…) I'd like to order a… um… pizza?"

"Yeah, sorry, wrong number," I said. "I'm the human in the Underground, not Pizza Hut or whatever dudes make pizza here."

"Oh… okay, I see," the someone said. "W-wait, did you say you were-" I hung up and went on. I found a sentry station thingo made by Papyrus. I went past that and found another sentry station, but for a dog. It said, 'ABSOLUTELY NO MOVING!' _Kinda have to_ , I thought. I moved. This dog dude called Doggo came out.

"I can only see moving things," Doggo said. "If something was moving… for example, a human…" _That's me._ "I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!" Doggo saw me and we got into battle. He said, "Don't MOVE an inch!"

"Uh… cool beans, I guess." I said. I didn't move. Doggo threw some light-blue sword at me. I was cool beans!

"Will it move this time?" Doggo asked. He threw that sword at me again. I didn't move. Cool beans again! I pet him and he flipped out like… you'd flip out. I spared him and went on. Sans was hanging by some ice. He told me 'bout Papyrus' 'special attack' and stuff, that you shouldn't move when you're blue, blah blah, some jazz like that. I gave him the cool beans and went on. I found a snowman.

"Hello," it said. "I am a snowman. I want to see the world… But I cannot move. If you would be so kind, traveler, please… take a piece of me and bring it very far."

"Cool beans, dude," I said. I took a bit of the snowman and walked off. I went east 'cause there was a joint called Snowdin that way. And ice. On the way, I ran into the skele-bros.

"YOU'RE SO LAZY!" Papyrus yelled at Sans. "YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!"

"i think that's called…" Sans said. "sleeping." _He's got a point._

"EXCUSES, EXCUSES!" Papyrus said. He saw me. "OH-HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES!"

 _I had puzzle-palooza back in the Ruin_ s, I thought. _This can't be anymore bacon balls._

Papyrus went on, "I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING! FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE… ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE," He held up a blue ball. "THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP! SOUND LIKE FUN?"

 _Sounds more like bacon balls_ , I thought.

Papyrus said, "BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW." I shrugged and went ahead. Papyrus got zapped. He got angry and, what's the word, stomped the floor. "SANS! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"i think the human has to hold the orb." Sans said.

"OH, OKAY," Papyrus said. He walked through the maze to me, putting footprints in the snow. "HOLD THIS, PLEASE!" He put the ball on my head and walked back. _Holy… hard_ , I thought, being what's the word, sarcastic. I used the footprints and was cool beans. Papyrus frowned. "INCREDIBLE! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL. YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY… TOO EASILY! WELL! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE SO EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM!"

"Cool beans," I said. _More puzzles? I'm tired, dude!_ "See you 'round, Papyrus."

"NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus said, walking off.

"Your brother's awesome-sauce," I said to Sans. _Sorta like Darius… nah, Darius isn't so… whoo, lookie here! Or a skeleton. Ack, shushies about the Di Casturoes!_ "His outfit's pretty cheese balls. That's a _good_ thing, for your info."

"yeah," Sans said. "we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything since… keeps calling it his 'battle body'."

"Sounds cheese balls," I said. _All I've got is some dumb cloak. Who fluffs 'bout that?_ "I'll see you two at the next puzzle." I walked off and found some dude selling ice-cream. "ICE-CREAM!" I ran over to him. "The Underground is now fluffing AWESOME-SAUCE! I'll have two, please!"

"Wow! A customer!" the dude said. He looked sorta like a blue bunny wearing a lifeguard thingo. "That'll be 30G!"

 _30G_ , I thought. _Holy… that's money down here, right?_ _But I'm broke!_ I sussed out my bag. _Wait… I have some bucks. How'd I get those?_ _Ah, fluff it. I want ice-cream- well, Nice Cream._ I gave the dude 30g and took my Nice Creams. Holy, ice-cream is life! I could live on that stuff. That, baseball, friends/family and music. Yeah, that'd be a cheese balls life.

I put a snowball into a hole like I was playing golf or something. I got 2G, which was bacon balls. I walked off and found Sans.

"Hey, Sans," I said. "'Sup?"

"i've been thinking about selling treats too." Sans said.

"Cheese-balls idea!" I said. "Whatcha sellin'?"

"fried snow," Sans said. "it's just 5G!"

"Cool beans," I said. I got out the money. "Never had fried snow, can't hurt to try it."

"did i say 5G?" Sans asked. "i meant 50G." I checked my cash.

"Sorry, dude," I said. "I wanna save my bucks for other jazz. Like ice-cream. But thanks for the offer and all that." I went on. I ran into two sentry thingos that were for some dogs. _Why so many dog things?_ I thought. I shrugged and went around. I found the skele-bros again.

"HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR…" He frowned. "SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"

"it's right there," Sans said, looking at some paper on the snow. "on the ground. trust me. there's no way they can get past this one." I went over to the paper. It was a crossword. I felt lazy so I passed it.

Papyrus was angry. "SANS! THAT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"whoops," Sans said. "i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."

"WHAT?" Papyrus said, acting all _the holy, dude?!_ "CROSSWORD?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION… JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST!"

"what?" Sans asked. "really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."

"UN. BELIEVABLE." Papyrus said. He looked at me. "HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"

 _I've done this stuff before with the Di Casturoes_ , I thought. _This'll be cheese balls._ I felt kinda soppy for Papyrus, 'cause he needed the self-love. Not saying that Sans didn't need it. They're both awesome-sauce. Just flow with my river here. Oh, also, I'm dumb and probably can't do a crossword.

"Junior jumble." I said.

"HA! HA! YES!" Papyrus said. "HUMANS MUST BE VERY INTELLIGENT! IF THEY ALSO FIND JUNIOR JUMBLE SO DIFFICULT! NYEH! HEH! HEH HEH!" He left.

"thanks for saying 'junior jumble' just to appease my brother," Sans said. "yesterday he got stumped trying to 'solve' the horoscope."

"Heh," I said. _What the fluff is 'the horoscope'?_ "No prob. Later, Sans." I walked on and came to a table with some spaghetti. There was also a microwave and some determination. And a note from Papyrus. It said some jazz 'bout me eating his spaghetti and not doing my journey. I couldn't eat Papyrus' spaghetti 'cause it was stuck to the table. So off I went.

I came to this snowy field and ran into Lesser Dog. I pet it. Holy, it got excited. Understatement. What's a more cheese balls word than 'excited'? Bacon balls, I don't have a dictionary thingo... I can use the internet… hold on… hey, there we go! Leave! Cheese balls word! Wait… Spelled 'excited' as 'exited'… Err, let's just say super excited.

I pet Lesser Dog a lot. Its neck grew really long. I think it, like, broke science. And that's just nuts. I got bored some time later and moved on. I pulled a switch and came to a new area. I ran into two dogs: Dogamy and Dogaressa. They were pretty cheesy and kept kissing each other. They attacked me. I got a bit hurt. But I was, like, super strong, so it wasn't really bacon balls. Still wanted to know _why_ I was strong.

Anyway. I'm kinda dumb, so I didn't know what the fluff to do. Dogamy and Dogaressa kept talking about sniffing, so I tried rolling around in the snow 'till I smelled like a 'weird puppy'. I pet and then spared the dogs. The petting opened a… _whole new woorrlddd_! Disney joke, heh… Cheese balls.

I moved on and found another puzzle. I had to make all the Xs Os. _Holy crap… I feel another song joke coming on!_ _Ex's, and the oh-o-ohs, they haunt me! Like ghosts they want me!_

" _X's and Os_." I sung, doing the puzzle. I was taking it pretty flow. Well, I _looked_ like that. _Heh_ , I thought. _Like peeps would fluff 'bout me_. I found Papyrus after I did the puzzle.

"WHAT?!" he asked. "HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP?! AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY…" He looked, what's the word, hopeful. "IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?!"

"Yeah, left it there," I said. "The whole thing's for you."

"REALLY?!" Papyrus asked. He sounded cheese balls. "YOU RESISTED THE FLAVOR OF MY HOME-COOKED PASTA… JUST SO YOU COULD SHARE IT WITH ME?"

 _Aww_ , I thought. I frowned. _No getting cheesy!_ Pause. _Oh, who gives a fluff. No one would love me anyway..._

"FRET NOT, HUMAN!" Papyrus went on. "I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS… WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!" He ran off.

 _Cheese balls dude_ , I thought. _What kinda dude would hurt him?_ I swore I heard a scary voice say something. Anyway. I ran after Papyrus- he was hanging out near some more (song time) _Ex's and Ohs_!

"MY BROTHER STARTED A SOCK COLLECTION RECENTLY," Papyrus said. "HOW SADDENING… SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO… WITHOUT SUCH A COOL GUY TAKING CARE OF HIM? NYEH HE HE!"

 _Yeah_ , I thought. _I wonder_. I walked over to the puzzle. Papyrus went after me.

"HUMAN!" he said. "HOW DO I SAY THIS… YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO… I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE… BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE!"

I looked at the snow. _How does that look like his face?_ "Uh... cool beans."

Papyrus sighed. "UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT! AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS…" He did that pose where his scarf flies in the wind. "WORRY NOT, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED!" He stopped the pose. "MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY THE PUZZLE YOURSELF! I'LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER!"

" _Ex's and Ohs_." I sung. I did the puzzle thinking 'bout that song. And Aladdin songs. That movie's pretty cheese balls.

"WOW!" Papyrus said. "YOU SOLVED IT! AND YOU DID IT ALL WITHOUT MY HELP…"

 _Nothing a few bacon balls song jokes can't fix_ , I thought.

"INCREDIBLE! I'M IMPRESSED!" Papyrus said. "YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE I DO!"

"Yeah, puzzles are cool beans." I said. _Uh_ , _nah._ _I'm pretty bacon balls with puzzles right now._

"WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE THE NEXT PUZZLE THEN!" Papyrus said. "IT MIGHT EVEN BE TOO EASY FOR YOU! NYEH! HEH HEH! HEHEHEH!" He ran off. I went the same way and found Sans.

"good job on solving it so quickly," he said. "you didn't even need my help. which is great, 'cause i love doing absolutely nothing."

"Ditto." I said. _When I can_ , I thought. I went ahead. The skele-bros were near a new puzzle. It was like a big grey checkerboard, that looked a little _uh oh_.

"HEY!" Papyrus said. "IT'S THE HUMAN!"

"Hey dudes." I said. _Oh holy_ , I thought. _What the fluff's it gonna be this time?_

"YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!" Papyrus said. "IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS!"

 _Who's that?_ I thought. _Another monster, I guess._

"YOU SEE THESE TILES?" Papyrus asked. I looked at the puzzle. "ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH… THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR!" Then he told me all 'bout the puzzle, blah blah, boring jazz. He asked me if I got it.

 _Holy bacon balls no_ , I thought. "Yeah, it's cool beans."

"GREAT!" Papyrus said. "THEN THERE'S ONE LAST THING… THIS PUZZLE… IS ENTIRELY RANDOM!"

"Cheese balls," I said. "Let's do this thing." Papyrus turned the puzzle on. It went all crazy and broke. Papyrus got all dizzy and rolled away. I shrugged and walked, what's the word, across. There was this weird computer thingy on the other side, which wasn't working.

"actually, that spaghetti from earlier," Sans said, looking at me. "it wasn't too bad for my brother. since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."

"He can't be _that_ bacon balls, can he?" I asked. "I'm, like, not really fussy." _I eat trash._

Sans shrugged. "up to you, kid. maybe it'll be alright to you, then." I left. My diet's pretty all over the joint. Just don't gimme bacon or granny smith apples and I'm cool beans.

I came to this place full of snow dog heads. They were broken and lying on the floor, looking all soppy. I was like, _oh bacon balls!_ and left. And did my determination thingo. I found another _Ex's and Ohs_ puzzle. So I sung that song again (you don't wanna hear me singing), and did the puzzle. I pushed a button and went through a forest, getting snow on my head. I kept going right. I found some snow poffs. I sussed out each one- one had some bucks in it. Another had Greater Dog. It came out to attack.

"Ack!" I cried. It barked at me. That hurt. A bit. So I tried something. "Uh… yo, Greater Dog!" It ran at me, putting its spit all over me. _Not cool beans, dog!_ I pet it like I did with Lesser Dog. It fell asleep… and woke up! _Well that's bacon balls_ , I thought. It wanted some more TLC, so I pet it again. It slept on me, but kept hitting me. I pet it again, thinking 'bout ABBA songs for some reason.

" _Dancing Queen, young and free_ ," I sang. I pet the dog again _._ It fell over and did its thing. I spared it, still singing ABBA songs. I didn't fluff with going back; I wanted to go ahead and get out. _Or do you?_ a thought asked. I looked away and went on this bridge. At the end were the skele-bros.

" _Mamma Mia_ ," I sung quietly. " _Here I go again_."

"HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!" Lots of scary thingos like knives and fire came near the bridge.

"Uh... don't 'cha think this is a little much?" I asked. _Holy crap! I'm so dead!_

Papyrus frowned. "...YOU ARE RIGHT, HUMAN! THIS CHALLENGE SEEMS TOO EASY TO DEFEAT YOU! YEAH! WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!"

 _Thank cheese balls_ , I thought, the scary things going away.

"PHEW!" Papyrus said quietly. He looked at me. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS!"

 _Uh, dude, I said the puzzle was too much,_ I thought. _But... whatever. Who cares?_

"NYEH! HEH!" Papyrus went a little _uhh_. "... HEH?" He ran off. I went over the bridge and found Sans.

"i don't know what my brother's going to do now," he said. "if I were you, i would make sure i understand blue attacks."

"Blue lollipops," I said. "Got it." I walked left. I finally got to the town I'd been looking for:

Snowdin.


	5. I go on a date with a skeleton

**~Chapter 4: I go on a date with a skeleton~**

I like dreams. I mean, the thingos you have when you sleep. Y'know what they are. I like weird dreams, and cheese balls dreams. I don't like bacon balls or scary dreams. And I don't like scary daydreams either. Like the ones you can't control and they come from nowhere and jazz. Like… visions, right? Those daydreams. I got them, like, sometimes, but I got 'em more when I came to the Underground.

I got one after sussing out Snowdin. It was a cheese balls but cold town. I bought some Cinnamon Bunnies and the Manly Bandanna from the shop and talked to the lady there. She was like a giant rabbit. But she was cool beans and told me some jazz 'bout the town. She said there was a library, a food joint called Grillby's, and an inn, run by her sister.

"And if you're bored," she said. "You can watch those wacky skeletons do their thing."

"Heh," I said. "I think I've already met 'em." I left after that and filled my determination. I put the bandanna on and decided to crash at the inn. Or I might've passed out. And I didn't wanna pass out. So I went to the inn and booked a room. I didn't really fluff 'bout losing my bucks. I was fluffing tired. So I went to bed. The peeps next door were snoring loudly. And I mean _really_ loudly.

"Holy bacon balls," I said angrily. "I'll never get to sleep with-" That's when I had a scary day dream. I… don't, what's the word, remember all the juicy bits (yuck, why would I want to?) but I remember it was really scary. I saw me looking evil… killing monsters. Lots. And then I... erased the world? I heard this evil laughter saying, **Your time is coming!** I woke up after that. I was on the floor, and the bed was bacon balls. I was really scared. And this part of me felt determined. I ran outta the room, deciding I needed to get outta the Underground right now. _I don't wanna be that evil dude_ , I thought. _I gotta go._

I was back in the cold weather, but I didn't give a fluff. The town looked kinda Christmas-y, and it was all cheesy, but I didn't give a fluff. The people looked cheese balls, but I didn't give a fluff. I just wanted to get my stuff and get out! And I didn't give a fluff.

"Yo!" some young monster said to me. "You're a kid too, right? I can tell 'cause you're wearing a striped shirt."

"Uh, yeah, cheese balls," I said. "I've… gotta go." Then I went back to not giving a fluff. _Everyone's gonna hate me_ , I thought. _They probably already do..._

I came to this weird place. The area went all _whoa_ , like a painting. _Cool beans_ , I thought. _But no time to fluff around! I've gotta go!_ So I moved on, 'till I slowed down. I saw something ahead. That something was Papyrus.

 _Really bacon balls time for you to show up, Papyrus_ , I thought.

"HUMAN." he said. "ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS."

"Er," I said. "That sounds cheese balls, but I gotta-"

"FEELINGS LIKE..." Papyrus went on. "THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER'S PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS."

 _I don't have time for this jazz!_ I thought. I said, "I need to-"

"THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL," Papyrus said. "THESE FEELINGS… THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!"

 _The only thing I feel is the feeling of wanting to leave!_ I thought angrily. "I-"

"I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY," Papyrus said. "AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON'T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE."

 _Just move!_ My thoughts cried. I said, "Papyrus, I just-"

"I PITY YOU," Papyrus said sadly. "LONELY HUMAN…"

 _Yeah,_ I thought. _I am pretty lonely… no surprise, really… I mean, I gotta go!_ "Papyrus-"

"WORRY NOT!" Papyrus said. "YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR…"

"My what?" I asked. "Also… I kinda need to-"

Papyrus looked away. "NO… NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND!"

 _Like you'd wanna be friends with me_ , I thought, being all bacon balls. _Who would?_ I sighed. _This is why you're running, isn't it? You're just too scared._

"YOU ARE A HUMAN," Papyrus said. "I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN, I CAN FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM! POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS!"

 _I just wanna run!_ My thoughts screamed. _I don't want any of this!_ Scary pictures came into my head. _Go away!_

"THAT'S PAPYRUS!" Papyrus said. "THE NEWEST MEMBER… OF THE ROYAL GUARD!" We got into battle.

 _Are you fluffing me?_ My thoughts said. _Bacon balls, now I have to fight!_ I sighed. _Well, at least I can go on after this stuff._ I was feeling kinda mixed. I felt for Papyrus and wanted to be his pal, but my brain was all like, _no no, we gotta run to the sun! We're a bacon balls human!_ My heart was all like, _I wanna make friendos!_

"Uh…" I looked at Papyrus. He looked fabo. Then that other part of me got an idea. I made some cheesy faces at Papyrus, like I did with other peeps.

"WHAT?" he said, freaking. "F-FLIRTING?! SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS! W-WELL! I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!"

"I can make spaghetti." I said. _May as well throw the ball in the hoop_ , I thought.

"OH NO!" Papyrus cried. "YOU'RE MEETING ALL MY STANDARDS! I GUESS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU…?"

"Eh, sure, why not." I said. _Why the fluff did you say that?_ A thought said angrily. _You're supposed to be leaving! And bacon balls jazz goes on when you go on dates!_

"L-LET'S DATE L-LATER!" Papyrus said. "AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!" He put some bone attacks out. They were pretty easy to dodge.

"You don't have to capture me," I said. "I mean, I'm not really cool beans with that."

"YOU ARE A HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "I MUST CAPTURE YOU!" He did all his attacks on me again.

"But I'm a…" _Bacon balls human_ , I thought. "I mean… I wanna be pals and all that! And date!" _Why can't we be friends?_ A thought sung.

"W-WE CAN DATE AFTER I CAPTURE YOU!" Papyrus said, kinda _ehh_. He turned my soul blue and smiled. "YOU'RE BLUE NOW! THAT'S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

" _I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die_ ," I sung. I got hit. "Holy crap! That hurt. You bacon balls skeleton!" (It didn't hurt _that_ much- I was strong and jazz, remember?)

"NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus said. He frowned. "WHAT DOES BACON BALLS MEAN?"

"Nothing cheese balls," I said. "Just… make your attacks quick."

"WHAT SHOULD I WEAR FOR MY DATE?" Papyrus said, thinking out loud. "WHAT?! I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!" I dodged all his attacks, but I was starting to feel like crashing again. I got tired quickly.

"Ugh…" I said. _Wake up, stupid!_ A thought said. "Papyrus, holy, I don't wanna fight you anymore!" I fluffing hate _hate_ **hate** fighting or hurting other peeps. It makes me feel like I'm doing something very bacon balls. Even if they hurt me. What's the, uh, point? And 'hurting' is name-calling and all that, too. I like to make peeps cheese balls, even if it kills me. _But who cares 'bout me? I don't. I mean..._

"YEAH! DON'T MAKE ME USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" Papyrus said.

"Stop!" I said. A bone hit me. "Holy crap!" _I'm in no real, what's the word, danger. I've got so much fluffing HP. Why do I feel so..._

"I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY!" Papyrus said.

 _Holy holy holy!_ I thought, fluffing all over the joint, trying to dodge attacks. _I don't get it_. My hair in my face was _not_ making it cheese balls.

"PAPYRUS: HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!" the skeleton said.

 _What's fluffing going on anymore?_ A thought said. I got hit by a bone. _What are we gonna do?_

"PAPYRUS: UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE!" Papyrus said.

 _I think I know what I'm gonna do,_ I thought. More attacks.

"UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME!" Papyrus went on.

 _Kill and run?_ A thought said. _I mean... really, you can kill this dude in one hit._

"THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE!" Papyrus said.

 _But I won't_ , I thought. _Papyrus is… my friend, right? We'll run after hanging with him._ _I don't care 'bout being cheesy or slow and jazz. I'm in it._ I paused. _I think I'm in it. Maybe. Maybe Papyrus will just hate me like everyone else..._

"MY BROTHER… WELL, HE WON'T CHANGE VERY MUCH." Papyrus said. I dodged more bones, which was still flipping hard. Thanks hair. Thank cheese balls for my HP.

 _Will capturing me really make you cheese balls?_ I thought. _I do give a fluff 'bout that, but…_

"I'LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS!" Papyrus said. He paused. "BUT…"

 _I'm pausing my bacon balls running away thing for you!_ I thought. _And I know I give a fluff! Because I…_

"WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU?" Papyrus asked. I dodged more bones.

 _Because you…_

"SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS REALLY RARE…" Papyrus said.

 _Wanted to…_

"AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD…" Papyrus said, with a frown. "AFTER YOU'RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY!"

I was getting all soppy now. _Why do I keep getting cheesy with people I don't know?_ _I'm meant to be running away, but here I am, getting all soppy over junk!_ _Who fluffs 'bout what monsters are and what they think? They're monsters, and I'm human! I'm not meant to hang with them! I've gotta get outta here! Now! And I don't fluff bout ANYTHING!_

"GIVE UP… OR FACE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" Papyrus said.

 _I_ do _fluff_ , I thought unhappily. _I'm running 'cause I don't wanna hurt them… they've been cheese balls so far…_

 **But do you have a choice?** I jumped at that voice. It wasn't mine.

"Nah," I said. "I'm not giving up. Gimme your special attack!"

"VERY WELL!" Papyrus said. "YOU ASKED FOR IT!" There was a dog, what's the word, chewing his special attack. "WHAT THE HECK! THAT'S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! HEY! YOU STUPID DOG! DO YOU HEAR ME?! STOP MUNCHING ON THAT BONE! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The dog was taking his special attack. "COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" He sighed. "OH WELL. I'LL JUST USE A REALLY COOL REGULAR ATTACK."

The regular attack was 'cool', alright. By the end I had, like, 70 HP, which was kinda low for me. Papyrus was pretty tired.

"WELL…!" he said. "IT'S CLEAR… YOU CAN'T… DEFEAT ME! YEAH! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY! I WILL SPARE YOU, HUMAN! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY!"

 _Holy crap, thank everything!_ I thought. The battle was done. Papyrus was hanging out by the side, looking soppy.

"You cool beans, dude?" I asked. _What'd I do this time..._

"NYOO HOO HOO…" Papyrus said. "I CAN'T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU… UNDYNE'S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME. I'LL NEVER JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD… AND… MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!"

"Don't say that!" I said, all cheese balls. _Dude, I have, like, 99 XP and LOVE. I could've killed you in one hit. And other monsters, too._ "You're awesome-sauce, Papyrus! I dunno know who this Undyne is, but she's crazy not to let you join this Royal Guard thingy. And… as for pals, don't fluff 'bout it! I'll be your pal!" _B_ _ut it's like anyone would wanna be friends with me…_

"REALLY?!" Papyrus asked. "YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS... WITH ME?"

"Roll it home." I said.

"WELL THEN," Papyrus said. "I GUESS… I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU! WOWIE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE… AND I'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!" He smiled. "WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS… WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES THEN FIGHT THEM? YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT, HUMAN. I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH! AND I'LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE!"

 _Spot on!_ A thought said. Papyrus told me how to leave and all that (I'll get back to that later, peeps), then told me he'd be at his house, hanging out. I said cool beans. He left. I sighed.

* * *

I went back to Snowdin and had this whole jazz sorted out: I'd go on this date with Papyrus (going against my brain, whatever), buy some Nice Cream and other stuff, crash, then get outta the Underground. Things didn't really... uh, go that way. Heh. Anyway, Papyrus was hanging out in front of his joint- this wooden house, like you'd see on a mountain.

"SO YOU CAME BACK TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME!" Papyrus said. "YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS… I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL… A PLACE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!"

"Blow me away." I said. Papyrus walked to town... central, I think it's called. I went after him. He did a, what's it called, one-eighty halfway. I did that too. We stopped in front of his house.

"MY HOUSE!" Papyrus cried. He went in. I went in too. It was a cheese balls joint. It had all the normal jazz like TVs and joke books and pet rocks.

"Cheese balls house," I said. I looked at the pet rock. "You've got a pet rock?"

"THAT IS MY BROTHER'S PET ROCK," Papyrus said, frowning. "HE ALWAYS FORGETS TO FEED IT. AS USUAL, I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY." I saw the rock had lots of sprinkles and stuff on it. _Huh_. There was also a dirty sock with lots of notes on it. I turned the TV on 'cause I was bored. The screen went all glitchy and bacon balls. It said, _STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM- MTT._

 _Who's MTT?_ I thought _. Meat… Tornado… Tag? Yeah, that's probably it. Meat Tornado Tag._

"OOH," Papyrus said. "IT'S MY FAVOURITE GAME SHOW!" He frowned. "WHAT! IT'S USUALLY BETTER THAN THIS! THIS IS JUST A BAD EPISODE! DON'T JUDGE ME!"

"I won't," I said. "I'm sure Meat Tornado Tag makes awesome-sauce shows." I touched the couch for no reason. I heard some weird noises. I also found twenty bucks. "Hey, cheese balls! I found twenty bucks. Can I keep it? I wanna buy more stuff." _Ice-cream._

"OF COURSE YOU CAN, HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "I AM VERY GENEROUS, AFTER ALL."

"Thanks, dude," I said. I sussed out the kitchen. The dog that took Papyrus' special attack came back and took more of his bones.

"AFTER THAT MEDDLING CANINE!" Papyrus cried. I ran after the dog, but it was too fast.

"Bacon balls!" I said angrily. Sans, from somewhere, blew through his… trom _bone_. Get it? Trom _bone_? Oh holy, Papyrus is gonna kill me for that one. Anyway, I sussed out the rest of Papyrus' house. Then I went into his room. I gotta say, Papyrus had a cheese balls room! I sussed everything out. Papyrus told me 'bout it. I started with his bed.

"THAT'S MY BED!" he said. "IF I EVER GET TO THE SURFACE… I'D LIKE TO DRIVE DOWN A LONG HIGHWAY, WIND IN MY HAIR… SUN ON MY SKIN… OF COURSE, THAT'S JUST A DREAM. SO INSTEAD I CRUISE WHEN I SNOOZE."

"Cool beans." I said. That's when I started to feel a lil' soppy for the monsters. We humans had the jazz monsters could only dream of. Didn't really feel cheese balls. _Why'd humans chuck monsters down here, anyway? Are monsters really evil?_ _That's one of the reasons I'm running away, right? But then why am I hanging with a monster? Oh, holy holy. I dunno._

Papyrus told me 'bout his Xmas presents and stuff from Santa (like I got many Xmas presents- not jealous or anything!). Then I saw a pirate flag with a skull on it- Papyrus said that humans might be, what's the word, related to skeletons. Heh. Not sure 'bout that, dude. Then he told me 'bout his internet life and closet.

"THERE ARE NO SKELETONS INSIDE MY CLOSET!" he said. "EXCEPT ME, SOMETIMES."

"That's cool beans," I said. "Hey, let's do the date thingy. It should be cheese balls." _It'll be bacon balls._

"VERY WELL, HUMAN!" Papyrus said, looking kinda _ehh_. My soul did its thing, but we didn't fight. "HERE WE ARE! ON OUR DATE!" Papyrus frowned. "I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE."

"I have," I said. "A few times. Long stories. _Very_ long stories." _Very long bacon balls stories._

"THEN YOU WILL BE AN EXPERT!" Papyrus said, looking all _phew!_ "PERHAPS… YOU WOULD, ER… LIKE TO START IT? BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, FRET NOT! YOU CAN'T SPELL 'PREPARED' WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!"

"Nah, I'll start it," I said. "On the dates I've been on- VERY LONG stories- we… do stuff like… dressing up!" I said. _No, I set something on fire or go crazy or..._ "I'm wearing my bandanna thingo. What about you?"

"WAIT!" Papyrus said. "YOU'VE BEEN WEARING THAT ALL DAY… DOES THAT MEAN… YOU'VE WANTED TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME SINCE THE START?"

"Yeah." I said. _No, I've wanted to leave!_

Papyrus flipped. "NO! YOU PLANNED IT ALL! YOU'RE WAY BETTER AT DATING THAN I AM! NO! YOUR… DATING POWER!" My 'dating power' went up. I shrugged.

"Well, I've done this before- again, VERY **VERY** LONG STORIES," I said. "Whatevsies. Show me your outfit."

"IF YOU ASK SO, HUMAN!" Papyrus cried. "I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT DATING AND I NEVER WILL! I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU!" He left and came back. He was wearing some new jazz, like this t-shirt saying 'COOL DUDE'. "BEHOLD! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE?"

"Holy crap!" I cried. I shrugged. "Yeah, it's pretty cheese balls."

"NO!" Papyrus cried. "A GENUINE COMPLIMENT!" My dating power went up.

"Well, you can still beat me at freaking peeps out," I said. "I mean… that's happened on other dates." _Because no one gets it,_ I thought. _No one cares. Why should they?_

"FREAK YOU OUT!?" Papyrus said. "I'M SURE THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT WILL MAKE YOU SHIVER IN YOUR BOOTS!"

"Yeah, I dunno. I'm not really freaked out," I said. "But you're doin' cheese balls so far with this date stuff. Most cheese balls date I've been on." _All my dates are bacon balls._

"OH NO!" Papyrus cried. "ANOTHER GENUINE COMPLIMENT!" My dating power went up. "NO! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL NOT LOSE! I STILL HAVE MY SECRET!"

"What's your secret?" I asked.

"YOU MUST FIND IT, HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "NYEH HEH HEH! HEH HEH!" I shrugged and looked for Papyrus' secret, which was on the dude. It was under his hat. "MY HAT…? MY HAT. MY HAT! NYEH HEH HEH! WELL THEN! YOU FOUND MY SECRET! I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE!" He went all _ehh_. "IT'S A PRESENT… A PRESENT J-JUST FOR YOU!"

 _Oh holy, this dude's too cheese balls_ , I thought. "Aww, Papyrus, you didn't have to!" _I don't deserve gifts. Bacon balls, I didn't even get a present for him!_ "I'll open it." I opened the present. It was spaghetti.

"SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus cried. "THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, ISN'T IT? RIGHT! BUT OH-SO WRONG! THIS AIN'T ANY PLAIN OL' PASTA! THIS IS AN ARTISAN'S WORK! SILKEN SPAGHETTI, FINELY AGED IN AN OAKEN CASK… THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS!" He looked at me. "HUMAN! IT'S TIME TO END THIS! THERE'S NO WAY THIS CAN GO ANY FURTHER!"

"I'll eat it," I said. "As long as there's no bacon or granny smith apples." I took a bite of the spaghetti. I'll eat any jazz but y'know what foods. Even garbage or gum under a desk. Papyrus' spaghetti… was very... um… I dunno how to… what's the word, _describe_ it. Heh.

"WHAT A PASSIONATE EXPRESSION!" Papyrus cried. _Bacon balls_ , I thought, putting my hair in front of my face. "YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY COOKING! AND BY EXTENSION, ME!"

"Oh yeah, 'course I love you!" I said, feeling odd. _Hey, no you don't!_ My thoughts said. _You're… not meant to!_

"MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN I DO!" Papyrus said. He went all _whoa!_ "AUGH!" My dating power went off the charts. "NOO!" Things got all weird and quiet.

"HUMAN." Papyrus' voice. "IT'S CLEAR NOW. YOU'RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME."

 _Oh holy crap_ , I thought.

"EVERYTHING YOU DO," Papyrus went on. "EVERYTHING YOU SAY. IT'S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE." He sighed. "HUMAN. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. IT'S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU. I, PAPYRUS…" He sighed again. "I… UM… BOY, IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST ME?"

"Dude, I don't fluff 'bout whatcha say," I said. _Yes I do._ "It's all cool beans with me. We're pals… right?"

"SO UNDERSTANDING," Papyrus said. He frowned. "I'M... I'M SORRY. I DON'T LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU LIKE ME. ROMANTICALLY, I MEAN." He sounded _ehh_. "I MEAN, I TRIED VERY HARD TO! I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU FLIRTED WITH ME… THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU."

"Papyrus, I flirt with peeps all the time," I said. "Doesn't really mean I like 'em. I do it 'cause..." I paused. _Why do I flirt?_ "I... I just do." **It's not you** , that not-me voice said.

"I SEE," Papyrus said. "SO… YOU ARE NOT MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME?"

"Nah," I said. "But holy, I think you're an awesome-sauce friend. This date was pretty cheese balls too. So thanks, Papyrus. It meant a lot." By now, I was starting to get really tired.

"YOU'RE WELCOME, MY DEAR FRIEND!" Papyrus said. He sounded cheese balls. "I'M GLAD YOU ARE ENJOYING YOURSELF!"

"Yeah…" I said, feeling sleepy. "Hey… when I get… to Asgore... the surface, I'll… I'll try to make… your dreams come true and… all that, okay? It's all I can do… for you being so… cheese balls… to me." _You don't deserve peeps being cheese balls to you_ , a thought said. _Not even monsters._ I was getting tired now.

Papyrus smiled. "WOWIE! YOU WOULD REALLY DO THAT FOR ME?" I nodded. _I can try._ "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Then he frowned. "YOU SEEM TIRED. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"Cool beans," I said. _Anything_ but _that_ , I thought. "I'm... just kinda tired. But again, thanks. Take… my phone… number." I yawned and gave Papyrus my number. I was pretty much plum-tuckered. I kept telling myself, _c'mon, the inn's just 'round the corner! You can walk!_

Then that scary voice showed up: **You will become what you are!**

"Bacon balls!" I cried. "Ack!" I felt dizzy.

"HUMAN?" Papyrus asked, looking scared. "ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALRIGHT?"

 _Help me_ , I thought. "Sorry… just thought of something… bacon balls. Heh…" My energy gave up on me after that. I passed out. For a second fluffing time.


	6. I get stalked by scary voices

**A/N: At the singing part, play the piano version of Memory from the Undertale soundtrack (it's on YouTube). And feel free to sing along XD**

* * *

 **~Chapter 5: I get stalked by scary voices~**

To peeps who don't know me I tell 'em I'm an, what's it called, orphan. I'm not really an orphan, 'cause my real parents aren't dead. But they… er, kinda dumped me and all that, so they're not really my family anymore. Only by… blood and being human and stuff. Like how the Di Casturoes weren't really my brothers, but I _saw_ them as those. You're probably like, _hey, dude, what the fluff does this have to do with passing out?_ Not really anything. But I tell ya something that did: a scary dream.

I saw this scary dude- me (it looked like me)- killing monsters again. Flowey was there. So was this other kid, wearing a green and yellow striped shirt. They were looking at scary me like I was cheese balls. Scary me looked back at them like we were besties. What the fluff? I hadn't seen that dude before. Then I killed Flowey, though he was all like, _spare me!_

"HOLY BACON BALLS!" I cried. I woke up from that scary dream, all freaked out.

"you alright, kid?" Sans asked. _Holy, when'd he get here?_ I thought. _Hey, where am I?_ I looked around. _Papyrus' room… I know this joint! Papyrus and me… we had a date, right?_

"Oh, yeah, I'm cheese balls," I said, putting my… what's it called… _facade_ on. I think there's an, what is it, _accent_ in that word. I hope not. I dunno how to type… or say accents. I saw I was in Papyrus' bed. "Hey… uh, what happened?"

Sans looked at me weirdly. "pap said you passed out. you looked pretty tired… so we put you here. you were making some weird noises while you slept. you alright?"

"Oh, I sleep weirdly sometimes." I said, lying. I frowned. _You fluffing passed out, you dumbo!_ _It was just a lil' walk away, but nooo, you had to-_

"HUMAN!" Papyrus came in. "YOU'RE AWAKE!"

"Uh… yeah," I said. "'Sup?" _They hate you now. You're so bacon balls. You can't stand still for ten secs._

"I AM SO THANKFUL!" Papyrus said. He sounded... what's the word, _relieved_...? "WE WERE REALLY WORRIED, WEREN'T WE, SANS?"

"yep," Sans said. "you slept for a while."

 _Idiot, stupido, dumbo, look what you are!_ I smiled. "Aw, dudes, cheese balls. I'm so bacon balls. Didn't mean to pass out." I frowned. "So… sorry. I didn't wanna worry you." _Why would_ anyone _fluff with a dumbo like you? Surprised they didn't chuck you out into the snow._

"WE FORGIVE YOU, HUMAN," Papyrus said. "JUST… PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN!"

"I'll try not to," I said. _I'll do it again. I always do it again._ _Bacon balls dumbo._ "Anyway, I'm going to Waterfall today, so…"

"waterfall?" Sans asked. "i'm going there too, actually. got a sentry station there. i was gonna stop at Grillby's on the way. you wanna come with? get some breakfast."

 _Why would someone wanna do something with you?_ I smiled. "Thanks, Sans. You're awesome-sauce." I looked at Papyrus. "You too, Papyrus. Both of you are cheese balls. Holy… how am I ever gonna repay this?" _This feels like the Di Casturoes all over again,_ I thought. I tried not to be soppy. _I'd better get going._

"FRET NOT, HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "YOU DON'T NEED TO REPAY US. WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS! NYEH HEH HEH! THAT IS WHAT… FRIENDS DO, CORRECT?"

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, that's spot on the mark."

* * *

I got all my stuff, left the bros some Cinnamon Bunnies (I could buy some more later), then went to Grillby's with Sans. It looked like a normal bar, with food and peeps and all that. The peeps said 'sup to Sans, so he must've gone there a lot. We sat down on some chairs. Mine had a, what's it called, whoopee cushion on it. Cheese balls prank, whoever put it there...

"let's order," Sans said. "whaddya want…?"

 _This is gonna take forevsies, we'll be here all day, deciding-_ "Burger… please."

"hey, that sounds pretty good," Sans said. He looked at this dude made of fire. "grillby, we'll have a double order of the burg." The fire dude walked off. Sans looked at me. "so what do you think... of my brother?"

"Holy crap!" I cried. I shrugged. "Yeah, he's awesome-sauce, dude. Didn't I say before?"

"yeah, he is," Sans said. "you'd be cool too if you wore that outfit everyday. he'd only take that thing off if he absolutely had to." He shrugged. "oh well. at least he washes it. and by that I mean he wears it in the shower."

"Huh, I don't wear much else than this jazz either." I said, looking at my clothes. _I've got nothing else to wear, apart from that cloak._ Grillby came over with the burgers.

"here comes the grub," Sans said. "want some ketchup?"

"Yeah, sure, why not." I said. Sans gave me the ketchup. It went all over my food. I gave Sans a _really?_ look. But he probably couldn't see it 'cause of my hair.

"whoops," Sans said. "eh, forghedaboudit. you can have mine. i'm not hungry anyway."

"Nah, it's cool beans," I said. "I'll just have Nice Cream."

Sans shrugged. "anyway... cool or not, you have to agree papyrus tries real hard. like how he keeps trying to be part of the royal guard. one day, he went to the house of the head of the Royal Guard… and begged her to let him be in it."

I made a _whoa!_ face. "Holy!"

"of course," Sans went on. "she shut the door on him because it was midnight. but the next day, she woke up and saw him still waiting there. seeing his dedication, she decided to give him warrior training. it's, uh, still a work in progress."

"Well, he'll get there someday," I said. "If I meet this head of the Royal Guard… Undyne, right…? I'll ask her 'bout it."

Sans nodded. "oh yeah, I wanted to ask you something." Things got a bit scary. "have you ever heard of a talking flower?"

"A talking flower?" I asked. A pic of Flowey dying popped up in my head. I felt _bleh_... and losing control. " **The SOULS of** -" I jumped. The scary voice went away. _What was that?!_ "I-I mean… yeah, I've heard of one."

Sans looked at me. "you alright, kid?"

"What's this talking flower?" I asked quickly. _What the fluff, what the cheese balls, what the holy!?_

Sans frowned. "the echo flower."

 _The echo flower? Thank cheese balls!_ I thought.

"they're all over the marsh," Sans said. "say something to them, and they'll repeat it, over and over… what about it?" He looked a little _ehh_. "well, papyrus told me something interesting the other day. sometimes, when no one else is around… a flower appears and whispers things to him."

 _I don't like this_ , I thought. _I_ really _don't like this._

"flattery… advice… encouragement…" Sans said. "predictions… weird, huh? someone must be using an echo flower to play a trick on him. keep an eye out, okay? thanks."

 _Is it Flowey?_ I thought. _Oh holy crap… That flower's bacon balls._ I nodded, though I felt _bleh_. _That scary voice, talking flowers, scary dreams… what's going on?!_

"welp, i'd better go to work now," Sans said. "can't believe you pulled me back for so long."

I didn't say jazz. I was freaked. Very freaked. But, 'course, I didn't show it.

"oh, by the way," Sans said. "i'm flat broke. can you foot the bill? it's just 10000G."

"Whaaaa?!" I yelled, freaking more. "I don't have the bucks!"

Sans winked. "just kidding. grillby, put it on my tab." He walked off and looked back once. "hey, kid."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"be careful," Sans said. "and take care. there's something special about you. i was gonna say something else, too… but i forgot." He left after that. I sighed. _Mamma mia, here I go again…_

* * *

After buying and eating some Nice Creams and Bisicles (popsicles for two, but I ain't sharing!), I went to Waterfall. I knew I needed to get to the king's castle, hopefully quickly. Then I'd leave the Underground, maybe try and find some way to help the monsters, then whoopie-doo, back to normal. But then I thought 'bout what'd happen when I went back to the Surface. Would there be anything cheese balls? Or just the same old bacon balls stuff? _Whatever!_ I thought. _It's the Surface! Your life's up there! Your home… your families, your love. You_ **love** _it up there! Don't you?_

 _Maybe_ , I thought. I did my determination thingo near Sans' sentry station and an echo flower, said 'sup to Sans, then went on. I came to a box. I didn't need it, so I passed it. I came to a waterfall, which had rocks coming down it for some reason. I went past that and came to an echo flower.

"I swore I saw something…" the flower said. "Behind that rushing water…"

 _Bacon balls_ , I thought. I went to the waterfall. There was a camera there. _Alrighty dite…?_ I thought. I went past the waterfall and came to this field… of water plants. It was kinda dark. There were shadows and stuff. I was sussing out the field when I saw something. Som _eone_ , actually. Someone in armour.

"H… HI, UNDYNE!" someone else said to the dude in armour. I knew that voice. Papyrus. "I'M HERE WITH MY DAILY REPORT!"

 _So the armour dude's Undyne_ , I thought. _Ooh, she's scary._

"UHH… REGARDING THAT HUMAN I CALLED YOU ABOUT EARLIER..." Papyrus said. Undyne looked at him. "... HUH? DID I FIGHT THEM? Y-YES! OF COURSE I DID! I FOUGHT THEM VALIANTLY!" _Sure did, dude_ , I thought. "...WHAT? DID I CAPTURE THEM…?" He looked pretty _ehh_. "W-WELL… NO. I TRIED VERY HARD, UNDYNE, BUT IN THE END… I FAILED."

 _Aw, bacon balls_ , I thought. _You did cheese balls, Papyrus! Really…_

"...W-WHAT?" Papyrus said. "YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THE HUMAN'S SOUL YOURSELF…" He walked up to Undyne. "BUT UNDYNE, YOU DON'T H-HAVE TO DESTROY THEM! YOU SEE… YOU SEE…" He walked back. "...I SEE."

 _Holy crap_ , I thought. _Why's he sticking up for me? No one does that!_ I frowned. _I'mma have to fight Undyne, too._ _This isn't gonna go cheese balls. Having a fabo day so far…_

"...I UNDERSTAND," Papyrus said. "I'LL HELP YOU IN ANYWAY I CAN." He left.

"Holy crap!" I said loudly. Undyne looked at me. "Oh… that was dumb." She pulled out this scary spear. I freaked. Then she walked off. "Um… see ya later, then." I walked outta the field. The kid monster from Snowdin went after me. _When'd he get here?_ I thought.

"Yo!" he said. "Did you see the way she stared at you when you spoke? Man, that was pretty dumb… but AWESOME! I'm SOOO jealous!"

"Heh, I guess." I said. _I'm so dumb._

"C'mon!" the monster said. "Let's go watch her beat up some bad guys!" He ran off, but fell on his face. Guess that's 'cause he had no arms. I shrugged and did my determination stuff, then went after him. I came to a puzzle, just 'cause I hadn't had enough of those (did I say that right?). The puzzle was 'bout putting some bridge seeds in the water, and, well, making a bridge. It wasn't too bacon balls. Kinda chill, really. I gotta say, Snowdin was awesome-sauce, but Waterfall was _way_ more cheese balls. It just needed a lil' more ice-cream (or Nice Cream). Anywhere with ice-cream is cheese balls.

I got into battle with a dude named Aaron. He was a horse dude with big muscles and a fish tail. 'Cause he had muscles, I… flexed…? That better be the word. He flexed harder. _Bring it, horsey!_ I flexed harder. Aaron flexed so hard he flew outta the room. I got some gold- I was totally gonna buy Nice Cream/ice-cream. If you haven't seen, I love Nice Cream. I'm gonna make my own one day. And not burn the kitchen down.

I did another flower-bridge puzzle. I saw this weird cave. Then my phone started ringing. _Toriel? Darius?_ I thought. I sussed out my phone. It wasn't Mom or Darius.

"HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS!" Papyrus said from the phone.

"Oh! 'Sup! Dude!" I said (awkward telephone freak). "Did you like those… um, cinnamon thingies I left you? I hope I left e-enough."

"OH, YES, THEY WERE WONDERFUL, HUMAN!" Papyrus said. He sounded a little _ehh_. "SO… I HAVE A QUESTION TO ASK. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING…? I'M... ASKING FOR A FRIEND. SHE THOUGHT SHE SAW YOU WEARING A BANDANNA. IS THAT TRUE? ARE YOU WEARING A BANDANNA?"

If you know me, y'know I lie a lot. Well, you've gotta, when you're me. But I don't lie _all_ the time. "Y-yeah, I'm wearing a... bandanna." And it's _bandanna_ , not banana, auto correct. My computer's messing with me, sorry peeps.

"SO YOU ARE WEARING A BANDANNA..." Papyrus said. "GOT IT! WINK WINK! HAVE A NICE DAY!" He hung up.

 _I should change my ringtone_ , I thought. _It's kinda bacon balls_. I went into the weird cave. _Hey, I wonder what Papyrus is gonna tell Undyne 'bout my bandanna_ (not banana!). _Probably that it looks bacon balls on me._ I looked at the cave jazz. It was pretty. There were echo flowers in there that had monsters talking.

"A long time ago, monsters would whisper their wishes to the stars in the sky," the flower said. _Humans did that too, sometimes_ , I thought. "If you hoped with all your heart, your wish would come true." It sounded soppy. "Now all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling." It was true. The stones were all sparkle-arkles. I saw a sign. It said WISHING ROOM. I felt cheesy for the monsters again.

"Thousands of people wishing together can't be wrong!" another flower said. "The king will prove that." _Hopeful, aren't they,_ a voice in my head said. **So hopeful.** I ignored that voice and looked at another flower.

"C'mon, sis!" the flower said. "Make a wish!" I was 'bout to suss out the next flower when Woshua showed up. It cleaned me and I met its bird friend. When it was done I was so fluffing clean I probably didn't need a shower for, like, a month. I spared it and looked at the flowers.

"I wish my sister and I will see the real stars someday…" another flower said. I looked through a telescope. It said 'check wall'. So I checked the wall and came to another joint. There was some old writing on the wall.

" _The War of Humans and Monsters_ ," it said. " _Why did the humans attack? Indeed, it seemed they have nothing to fear._ "

 _War of Humans and Monsters?_ I thought. _What'd that brochure say, back at that tourist joint? It said humans put monsters under the mountain and the monsters cursed the mountain or something... right? But it never said why…_

The writing said, " _Humans are unbelievably strong. It would take the SOUL of nearly every monster… just to equal the power of a single human SOUL_."

 _Holy holy_ , I thought. _So… my SOUL's really powerful and jazz? Flowey said my soul was, like... strong as two souls or something...? And Papyrus said the king wants someone with a strong soul to break… the barrier or whatever, right? Or is there more?_

I kept reading, " _But humans have one weakness. Ironically, it is the strength of their SOUL. Its power allows it to persist outside the human body, even after death_."

 _I guess that's where all the ghost stories come from_ , I thought.

" _If a monster defeats a human_ ," the writing said. " _They can take its SOUL. A monster with a human SOUL… A horrible beast with unfathomable power_."

 _So…_ I thought. _Are the monsters tryna take my soul?_ _Is that why they're fighting me? So… so bacon balls._ _Maybe monsters ain't so cheese balls after all._ I felt like I'd been… betrayed? _Toriel… she was spot on._ I shook my head. _But I've been cheese balls to 'em… and they've been cheese balls back. So… if we're all cheese balls… no one will get hurt?_ I paused. _Or what if they're fighting me... 'cause of humans? I mean, we shoved 'em down here. We're bacon balls._ I sighed. _Can… can humans… take other human's souls?_

 **Only you**. The scary voice in my head went off. **You will take all.** That voice was bacon balls. I ran outta that place and came to this shadowy bridge. I was running now. I needed to _go_. But a spear stopped me. That spear was Undyne's. She started throwing spears at me.

"HOLY CRAP!" I cried. I ran along the bridge, spears fluffing everywhere. I got hit a few times. It wasn't cheese balls. I got to a... field of water plants. I ran in there. Undyne went after me. She picked up… the monster kid. She dropped him and left. I freaked. "Monster dude! Are you cheese balls?"

He ran out. "Yo! That was... AWESOME! Undyne… Undyne just touched me! I'm never washing my face ever again!"

 _You won't wanna run into Woshua, then_ , I thought.

"Man, are you unlucky," Monster Kid said. "If you were standing just a little bit to the left…! Yo, don't worry! I'm sure we'll see her again!" He ran off. I shrugged and did my determination thingo near some cheese, then moved on. Sans was hanging out near a telescope.

"i'm thinking about getting into the telescope business," he said. "it's normally 50000G to use this premium telescope… but… since i know you, you can use it for free. howzabout it?"

"Thanks, Sans," I said. "I'm kinda broke anyway. Too much Nice Cream." I looked through the telescope. I couldn't see anything but red. _Um… alrighty dite?_ I stopped looking through the telescope. There was something on my eye. It was this weird paint. _Sans, holy crap!_

"huh?" Sans asked. "you aren't satisfied?" He winked. "don't worry. i'll give you a full refund." _Whatevsies_ , I thought. I went into this cave. I wasn't angry anymore.

"ICE-CREAM!" I cried. The Nice Cream dude looked up.

"Oh, hey, it's you!" he said. He sighed. "Apart from you… I haven't got anymore customers, even though I relocated my store." He smiled. "Fortunately, I thought of a solution! Punch cards!"

"Punch cards?" I asked.

"Yeah!" the Nice Cream dude said. "Every time you buy a Nice Cream, you can take a punch card from that box." I saw there was a box there. "If you have 3 cards, you can trade them for a free Nice Cream! They're sure to get the customers to come back!"

"That's a pretty cheese balls idea," I said. "Yes, that's a _good_ thing." I got out some gold. "Anyway, I'm here to buy some more… you can never get enough Nice Cream. _Never_."

"Alright!" the Nice Cream guy said. "Just 25G!"

I checked my cash. "25G? Dude… that's, like, more money!" I sighed. "Whatever. It's _ice-cream_!" I gave the dude 25G. He gave me a Nice Cream and a Punch Card. I didn't really have anymore bucks so I left. In my bag, I had three Nice Creams, a Unisicle, a Bisicle, two Cinnamon Bunnies, the Snowman's piece, the Butterscotch-Cinammon Pie, my cloak thingo and the chloroform. Oh, and some family jazz, but no one fluffs 'bout that. I put the Punch Card, a Cinnamon Bunny, the pie, the Snowman's thingy and the Unisicle into a box. I was strong and all, so most of my food was there just 'cause it tasted cheese balls.

* * *

I came to this weird glowing place, like you'd see at an… aquarium, I guess. It was really pretty. I found another echo flower.

"So? Don't you have any wishes to make?" it said. There was another flower.

"...hmm… just one, but…" it said. "It's kind of stupid."

I didn't think that monster's wish would be kinda stupid. I mean, I wished for never-ending ice-cream once. That's pretty stupid. Actually... it's the most cheese balls wish ever! I think I may have a problem... Anyway, after catching up with my old pal Moldsmal, I found some ballet shoes. They used to be some other human's. _Kinda cheesy to see something so human_ , I thought. _Wonder if I'll ever see another human._ _If humans actually give a fluff 'bout me. Probably not. They wouldn't. They don't. They never will. So why do_ I _give a fluff about_ them _?_

 **Take them all**. The scary voice said.

"Again?!" I cried. _Get lost! I don't want any of this! ...Er… maybe I'll see how Papyrus is goin'!_ I called Papyrus. "Uh… h-hey, Papyrus! D-do… d-do you like… Nice Cream?" I really don't like talking on phones.

"NICE CREAM?" Papyrus asked. "YES, I DO! I LIVE IN SNOWDIN, SO IT'S EVERYWHERE AROUND ME! ON THE GROUND, NATURALLY."

"Um… I like Nice Cream too," I said. "Hey… is Undyne… gonna… k-kill me?"

Papyrus went kinda quiet. "WELL, HER OPINION OF YOU IS VERY… MURDERY. BUT I BET YOU KNEW THAT ALREADY! AND BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT… I TOLD HER WHAT YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE WEARING! A BANDANNA!"

"Cool beans." I said. _Anything_ but _that._

"BECAUSE I KNEW, OF COURSE," Papyrus said. "AFTER SUCH A SUSPICIOUS QUESTION… YOU WOULD OBVIOUSLY CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES! YOU'RE SUCH A SMART COOKIE! THIS WAY YOU'RE SAFE AND I DIDN'T LIE!"

 _No I didn't!_ I thought. "Yeah... I did that."

"NO BETRAYAL ANYWHERE!" Papyrus said. "BEING FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE IS EASY!" He hung up. I sighed. _I'm still wearing this fluffing bandanna! I'm dead as bacon balls._ I kept going. I found some echo flowers.

"Don't say that!" an echo flower said. "Come on, I promise I won't laugh." I did some more sussing out and found some old writing.

" _The power to take their souls_ ," the writing said. " _This is the power that the humans feared_." _That… doesn't really surprise me_ , I thought. _I hate it… but I'm human too. That power's bacon balls to me._

 **You have it**. The voice in my head said. I walked faster and came to this place with water. This octopus-like thing came out. I freaked.

"Hey… there..." it said. "Noticed you were… here…"

 _It's cool beans_ , I thought. _Real beans made of cool._ So, I was... what's the word, _relieved_.

"I'm Onionsan!" the monster said. "Onionsan, y'hear!"

"'Sup, Onionsan?" I said. "My name's-"

"You're visiting Waterfall, huh!" Onionsan said. "It's great here, huh! You love it, huh!"

"It's awesome-sauce!" I said. "Best joint in the Underground. Even though Nice Cream's more money."

"Yeah!" Onionsan said happily. "Me too! It's my Big Favorite!" It went after me. "Even though, the water's getting so shallow here… I, have to sit down all the time, but…" It smiled. "He-hey! That's OK! It beats moving to the city! And living in a crowded aquarium! Like all my friends did!" It sounded soppy now. "And the aquarium's full a-anyway, so, even if I wanted to, I… That's okay though, y'hear! Undyne's gonna fix everything, y'hear! I'm gonna get outta here and live in the ocean! Y'hear!"

"Hope she does." I said. _So hopeful_ , I thought. _Kinda bacon balls_ , _really. I... hope they get what they want._

"Hey… there..." Onionsan said. "That's the end of this room. I'll see you around. Have a good time," it went into the water. "In Waterfallllll!" I sighed and went on. I ran into a monster named Shyren, even though she was hanging out in the corner. She had a few self-love probs, like me. And she liked singing. I'm bacon balls at singing- even though I make song jokes- but I sung anyway. Shyren sung along, and we had a cheese balls time. Then I moved on.

I found another puzzle. It had to do with a piano and music and jazz. I didn't know what to do, so I left. I found some more signs about monsters and humans.

" _This power has no counter_ ," a sign said. " _Indeed, a human cannot take a monster's SOUL. When a monster dies, its SOUL disappears. And an incredible power would be needed to take the SOUL of a living monster._ "

 _That's not so cool beans on the humans' game board_ , I thought. _Then again, we're the ones with the whoa! SOULS._

" _There is only one exception_ ," another sign said. " _The SOUL of a special species of monster called a 'Boss Monster'. A Boss Monster's SOUL is strong enough to persist after death… if only for a few moments. A human could absorb this SOUL. But this has never happened. And now it never will_."

 _…but what if it did?_ I thought. _Would humans turn into OP super bosses? Or be more powerful?_ **Power. Humans fear yet crave power.** I stopped thinking 'bout the writing when I heard that scary voice. I found a statue. It was being rained on.

" _Why does it always rain on me_?" I sung. I found some umbrellas. I got one. The statue looked soppy, so I gave it the umbrella. A song started playing... Like a music box. It was really pretty… and made me kinda soppy. And it sounded... what's the word, familiar. I gasped. _Hey! I think that's the song I have to remember! For that piano!_

I went over to the piano and played the song. I started singing some song I learnt... from I didn't know where. I just knew someone showed me it. " _If you're feeling lonely and depressed, remember this little tune. It's a memory of your friends; there is always hope_. _When it's time you'll do what's right, and you'll manage to survive. It's okay to be afraid... it's okay to die. Just remember they're behind you, and they'll always be behind you. It's okay to cry if you're sad, but with friends you'll always feel glad! Remember to strive for the best, if you fail it's not the end. There's always a second chance; we can all be good! Don't forget about who you are; you are a shining star. Memory holds onto the truth, stay determined and don't let it loose! Family is behind you, your heart knows the right way. So no matter what you do, you will be okay..."_ I stopped. I felt soppy. It made me think of something I couldn't remember. Weird.

When the puzzle was done, this new joint opened. This thing called the Legendary Artifact was there. I was like, _whoa, dude!_ I went to get it, but there were 'too many dogs' in my bag. I sussed out my bag, and the dog that took Papyrus' bones showed up. It took the artifact.

"Hey!" I said. "You bacon balls dog!" But it was gone. _Are you fluffing me!? That took forevsies! It was cheese balls when it took Papyrus' bones but it's really- oh, whatever. It's just some dumb artifact._ I checked my bag. _Dog residue? Huh, where'd that come from? I wonder if you can eat it… or sell it on Ebay._

I went on and found Monster Kid again. It was raining. Rain's cheese balls! It's so awesome-sauce and pretty. Sometimes I'll stand in it and sing… 'cause that's whatcha do in the rain, right? _I'm singing in the rain!_

"Yo!" Monster Kid said. "You can't hold an umbrella either? If you're walking anyway, I guess I'll go with you, haha…"

"Eh, sure, why not?" I said. "Kinda bored anyway." So we walked for a bit. I decided to chat him up… not flirting, 'course. "So… you from here?"

"Nah," Monster Kid said. "I'm from Snowdin. I only came here to see Undyne. Speaking of Undyne, she is soooo cool! She beats up bad guys and never loses! If I was a human, I would wet the bed every night… knowing she was gonna beat me up! Ha ha."

 _That does not sound cheese balls_ , I thought. "Yeah… she sounds pretty awesome-sauce." We did some more walking.

"So… one time, we had a school project where we had to take care of a flower," Monster Kid said. "The king- we had to call him 'Mr. Dreemurr'- volunteered to donate his own flowers. He ended up coming to school and teaching the class about responsibility and stuff. That got me thinking..." He smiled. "YO! How COOL would it be if UNDYNE came to school!? She could beat up all the teachers!"

"That'd be cheese balls," I said. "Been forevsies since I've been to school." _And the only schools I've been to I've been bullied. I deserve it, 'course. Look what I am._

"Huh… really?" Monster Kid asked. "Where are _you_ from, anyway?"

"Uh…" _Come on, come on!_ "Hey, tell me more 'bout Undyne coming to your school!"

"Well, she wouldn't beat up the teachers," Monster Kid said. "She's too cool to ever hurt an innocent person!" We came to another joint. Something that looked like Disneyland Castle was in the… distance, I think, and the sky was all sparkle-arkle. It was also pretty dark. So pretty. Holy, I loved Waterfall. I'm jelly (jealous) of anyone who lived there.

Anyway, we came to a ledge. Monster Kid helped me up, then went off. I felt a little soppy. I kinda wanted that guy to stick around. _Whatevsies_. I found some more signs- and a determination thing.

" _The humans_ ," the signs said. " _Afraid of our power, declared war on us. They attacked suddenly, and without mercy. In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single SOUL was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust…_ " I felt a bit bacon balls at the humans. But then again… it's not _that_ surprising. Heh.

I came to a dark bridge. Shadowy place. I didn't feel very cheese balls. I was being cool beans when all these spears and jazz popped outta the blue. Undyne. I started running, but spears were all over the joint. I had to be kinda slow, so the spears and jazz wouldn't kill me. I didn't know where the holy fluffing crap I was going.

"Undyne, holy crap, stop!" I said. Undyne ignored me. She caught me at the end of the bridge thingo. _Well, I'm dead_ , I thought. Undyne pulled out these spears and cut the end of the bridge off. And I passed out AGAIN.


	7. Temmie goes to colleg

**~Chapter 6: Temmie goes to colleg~**

I heard a, what's the word, _familiar_ voice. Well... familiar from some joint. " _No one else has this power. But… when I show you it, your life's gonna change. Nothing will be the same._ " Big pause. " _You don't want to do it? Please… you've gotta. Do it for your best friend._ " Another pause. " _Thanks. You're the best friend ever._ "

"Holy!" I woke up. I felt bacon balls. _I passed out again? Are you fluffing me!? My name should be… um… 'passing out dude!' Yeah! Heh._ I looked around. _Hey, what's this joint?_ I saw I was on some yellow flowers again, so I hadn't died. The joint looked like Waterfall… but with more junk. And I mean _real_ junk. _Holy_ , I thought. _What was that flashback thingo? Who was that dude talking? What were they talking about?_ _Why do I feel like I know 'em?_

I sussed out the joint full of junk. _Holy_ , I thought. _I know some of these things! Is that a Kit Kat bar? Coke? LO'real Paris? An INXS CD? Mrs. Baker liked those dudes. Prince of Egypt…? Hey, I love that movie! What's it doing down in Monstertown?_ My determination told me human junk came down from this waterfall. I looked at the waterfall. It led to somewhere. _What's down there?_ I thought. _Maybe I'll fall down there and die a bacon balls death. Yeah, a really bacon balls death._

I did some more sussing out and found some cheese balls jazz, like space-dude food. I took some space-dude food and went on. I found this training dummy, but I didn't say jazz to it. But it did say jazz to me. It went all bacon balls and blocked my way.

"Hahaha…" it said. "Too intimidated to fight me, huh?! I am a GHOST that lives inside a dummy! My cousin used to live inside a dummy, too. Until… YOU CAME ALONG!"

"Uh… what'd I do to your cuz?" I asked.

"I'll tell you what you did!" the dummy said. "When you talked to them, they thought they were in for a nice chat… but the things you SAID...! Horrible. Shocking! UNBELIEVABLE! It spooked them right out of their dummy!"

"Aw, man," I said. "I'm bacon balls at chatting peeps up. Tell your cuz I'm sorry." _I'm so bacon balls I made a dummy soppy._ I sighed. _Everyone'll be like that soon! Why are you even making pals? They'll all hate you, and it doesn't, what's the word, matter if you're a killer or not. Your 'friends' will leave you soon._

"Sorry isn't good enough, HUMAN!" the dummy yelled. "I'll scare your SOUL right out of your body!" We got into battle. The dummy sent these dudes after me. Their attacks ended up hitting Mad Dummy- that's the dummy- and making it all bacon balls. The dudes didn't get anymore cheese balls. Mad Dummy wasn't cool beans. It kept going on 'bout how it wanted my soul to cross the barrier and all. I said I wanted my soul 'cause it's _my_ soul.

Mad Dummy kept hitting me, and I was getting the ouchies- well, a bit.

"We'll be stuck fighting," Mad Dummy said. "Forever. Forever! FOREVER! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Then it started raining on it. "Wh… what the heck is this?! Ergh! Acid rain!" It got bacon balls. "Oh, FORGET IT! I'm outta here!" It left. Napstablook showed up.

"Napstablook!" I said. "Dude, I owe you one! Mad Dummy was giving me a bacon balls time."

"Oh… was it?" Napstablook said, with a soppy voice. "It looked like you were having fun… oh well… I just wanted to say hi…" The battle was done, thank holy cheese balls. "Well… I'm going to head home now… oh… um… feel free to 'come with' if you want… but no pressure… I understand if you're busy… it's fine… no worries… just thought I'd offer…"

"That'd be cheese balls, Napstablook," I said. "I'm kinda meant to be leaving… but it can't be too bacon balls to go… a little off dial, can it?" _Yes, it can._

"Well, okay…" Napstablook said. "This way." They, what's the word, floated on. I went after them, did my determination stuff, and came to this farm place. There were all these snails in a pen. Napstablook was hanging out there. "Awkward… I'm working right now… I mean, welcome to the Blook Family Snail Farm… Yeah, I'm the only employee. This place used to get a lot of business… But our main customer disappeared one day… now it's just some hairy guy that shows up once a month."

"Bacon balls, man," I said. "I feel for ya." I sussed out the snails. They were cool beans. One of 'em gave me cheese balls life tips. Another made me hungry… shout out to my French dudes. I went to Napstablook's joint. It was this soppy blue place, next to this purple joint. I had no idea who lived there. So I went into Nasptablook's place. It was a lil' house, with books, music and cobwebs.

"Oh…" Napstablook said. "You really came… sorry, I… wasn't expecting that. It's not much, but make yourself at home."

"Don't be so bacon balls 'bout yourself, Napstablook," I said, all cheese balls. _I'm the bacon balls one here._ "Your house's cheese balls!"

"I guess…" Napstablook said, still soppy. I sussed out their house and jammed to their music.

"Dude, cheese balls tunes!" I said. "If I had skills, I'd totes remix them."

"Oh, um… thanks," Napstablook said awkwardly. "Maybe I should remix them myself…"

I sussed out the fridge. Napstablook saw. "Oh… are you hungry…" they asked. "I can get you something to eat…" They went to the fridge. "This is a ghost sandwich… do you want to try it..."

"As long as there's no bacon or granny smith apples." I said. I tried to eat the ghost sandwich, but I couldn't… 'cause it was a ghost sandwich. Bacon balls! Whatevsies, I like ghost sandwiches anyway.

"Oh well… nevermind..." Napstablook said. "After a great meal I like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage… it's a family tradition." They paused. "Do you want… to join me…"

"Yeah." I said. _I already am garbage._

"Okay… follow my lead…" Napstablook said. We laid on the floor and were all garbage-y. "Here we go… you'll lie down as long as you don't move. So, only move around when you want to get up, I guess." Being garbage was cheese balls on levels of awesome-sauce. I didn't think 'bout scary jazz. I just thought 'bout… how life began. Why we were around. Why ice-cream tasted so cheese-balls. If there were other, what's the word, universes. If animals had feelings and jazz. Why my name was...

"Holy, dude," I sighed. "Sorry, Napstablook, but I've gotta fly. I have an Underground to leave."

"That's okay…" Napstablook said. "Thank you, by the way…"

"It's cool beans," I said. I left after that. _Alrighty dite, no more fluffing around_ , my thoughts said. _We've gotta go_. But... I went back a little and found that aquarium joint, that's all glowy and stuff. This duck rode me over ( _taking my time on my riiideeee_ ) to the place with Sans and the telescope. I said 'sup to him again and fluffed around with my box. Then I went ahead.

* * *

I came to this shop run by an old turtle dude. He said he had some 'neat junk' for sale. And some talking jazz. _Cheese balls_ , I thought. _I can get some info on leaving and all that._ I got some info 'bout the emblem thingo, the 'Kingdom of Monsters', and some 'angel' from this prophecy. The 'angel' was someone who'd seen the surface and had come down to free the monsters and stuff. _Maybe that's me_ , I thought. That's when I got one of those scary daydreams, 'bout scary me killing peeps again. And this... sentence: **Make a better world**. _The fluff's that all about?_ I thought. _I don't get it._

I saw another sign. " _Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us Underground with a magic spell. Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful SOUL can leave_." I frowned. _Humans have magicians? I knew Harry Potter was real!_ I sighed. _Holy, humans just get more and more OP. Why do I love them…? Because I_ am _human? Nah… I can't think bacon balls 'bout them. I… I live with them! I… I…_

" _There is only one way to reverse this spell_ ," a sign said. " _If a huge power, equivalent to seven human SOULs, attacks the barrier… it will be destroyed_." _We've got a big price tag on us, don't we_ , I thought.

A sign went on, " _But this cursed place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped down here forever._ "

 _Oh dudes_ , I thought. _There'll be a way_. I frowned. _No… I don't care… I've gotta get out…_

I stopped being all soppy when I got to this dark joint. There were all these mushrooms and stuff that made shiny paths. I sussed them out and ran into 'special enemy Temmie'. She was pretty cheese balls. I said 'sup to her. She said, "hOI! i'm tEMMIE!" And that was battle over. For some reason, I decided to suss out the dog residue. The rest of my bag was filled with it and this jazz called Dog Salad. Well cheese balls.

I sussed out the dark joint some more. I got lost, and the Underground had no Google Maps. So I went all over the place. I came to this joint called Temmie Village. The sign said, 'hOI! welcom to… TEM VILLAGE!' _Cool beans,_ I thought (autocorrect is bacon balls right now). I talked to some of the Temmies. They were pretty _whoopie-doo!_ I did my determination- sorry, _detemmienation_ \- then hung out with the Temmies.

"Awawawawah!" a Temmie said. "Humans… such a… CUTE!"

"Heh, thanks." I said. _Humans are anything_ but _that_ , I thought. I saw a statue.

" _Statue of tem…_ " it said. " _very famus. VERY!_ " I went into the Tem shop.

"hOI!" the shop owner said. "welcom to… da TEM shop!"

"'Sup? I'm gonna sell my dog residues," I said. "Want some?"

Temmie said, "i gota have dat DogResidus… but i gota pay for colleg. Hnnn…! tem always wanna DogResidus...! tem buy DogResidu for… 4G!"

"Roll it in," I said. "I want Nice Cream." _And ice-cream. Human stuff,_ I thought. I gave Temmie the rest of my dog thingos, seeing I could make and sell more. It took forevsies, but I sent Temmie to college. 'Cause why the fluff not? She looked fabo. After that, I went back to the dark mushroom joint. I got lost a gazillion times, but I found where to go. I ran into an echo flower.

"Behind you." it said. I looked around and saw Undyne. _Bacon balls_ , I thought.

"Seven," she said darkly. "Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king… King Asgore Dreemurr… will become a god. With that power, Asgore can finally shatter the barrier. He will finally take the Surface back from humanity… and give them back the pain and suffering that we have endured… understand, human?"

"Crystal clear," I said. "But… dude, I… will Asgore even be able to stop the humans? I… I… I mean there's alotta them… and… if you… stop us… do you even know… what kinda 'get-you-back' plan we'll have? I mean..." **The souls will not be his** , the voice said. I didn't know what it was fluffing 'bout now.

Undyne pulled a spear from… somewhere. Spears were her jazz, I think. "So you think monsters can't be determined?"

"'Course not!" I said. "I'm talking 'bout-"

"Give up your SOUL," Undyne said scarily. "Or I'll tear it from your body!" Things looked bacon balls, 'till Monster Kid showed up.

"Undyne!" he cried. "I'll help you fight!" He looked at me. "YO! You did it! Undyne is RIGHT in front of you! You've got front row seats to her fight!" He stopped. "Wait… who's she fighting?" Undyne pulled him away. "H-hey! You aren't gonna tell my parents about this, are you?"

I sighed. "Oh, holy…" _Bacon balls. What'd I do now? Sing? Flirt?_ I found some more echo flowers.

"...Hmm… If I say my wish… you promise you won't laugh at me?" a flower asked.

"Of course I won't laugh!" another flower said.

"Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under. Standing under the sky, looking all around… that's my wish." a flower said. Another flower laughed.

"...Hey, you said you wouldn't laugh!" a different flower said. (Flowing with me here?)

"Sorry, it's just funny…" another different flower said. "That's my wish, too." _They really wanna leave, huh?_ I thought.

A sign said, " _However, there is a prophecy. The Angel… the one who has seen the Surface… they will return. And the underground will go empty._ " _So, this angel dude's gonna save all the peeps. Or… the underground will go empty… empty... does that mean they would… oh holy crap…_ I got another image. Lots of dead monsters. _Is... is that me? Am… I gonna… do that? No… fluffing bacon balls no…_ I sighed. _Stay cool beans! Y'know I'd never do something like that! Would I? That's not what I am..._

I came to this bridge. Monster Kid was there.

"Yo!" he said. He sounded _eh_. "I know I'm not supposed to be here, but… I wanna ask you something." He stopped. "Man, I've never had to ask anyone this before… um… yo… you're human, right?"

"That's me." I said, putting my hair in front of my face.

"Haha…" Monster Kid said awkwardly. "Man! I knew it!" He frowned. "...well, I know it now, I mean… Undyne told me, um, 'stay away from that human'. So, like, um… I guess that makes us enemies or something."

"Bacon balls, really?" I asked. "Dude, I don't wanna hate you." _But you'll hate me._

"Yeah, me neither. I kinda stink at that anyway." Monster Kid said. "So… can you, er, say something mean to make me hate you? Please?"

"I'm not gonna try," I said, looking away. "I'm bacon balls at being bacon balls to other peeps." _But I'm cheese balls at doing it to myself,_ I thought unhappily.

"Yo… so I have to do it?" Monster Kid asked. He sighed. "Here goes nothing… Yo, I… I… hate your guts."

"Hate to be bacon balls, but…" I said, frowning. _It's not cheese balls enough._

"Man, I'm such a turd," Monster Kid said. "I'm… I'm gonna go home now." He turned around and walked off, but he, what's the word, tripped on the bridge. He was hanging on the side. "W-wait! I tripped!"

"I'm coming, dude!" I said. But then Undyne showed up. _Oh bacon balls in bacon sauce in… just bacon._ _Bacon balls, Undyne!_ I looked at Monster Kid. _Oh, fluff Undyne! This kid needs to be saved and jazz!_ So I ignored Undyne and saved Monster Kid. He stood in front of me, stopping Undyne.

"Y….y… yo... dude..." he said… bravely, I guess. "If… if you wanna hurt my friend… You're gonna have to get through me, first." Undyne left.

"Dude!" I said. "Bacon balls, that's, like, five monsters I owe!"

"Yo! I think we're equal," Monster Kid said. "You saved my skin first. Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, haha. We'll just have to be friends instead."

"Flows with my river." I said, smiling.

"... man, I should really go home…" Monster Kid said. "I bet my parents are worried sick about me!" He walked off, but looked back. "Later, dude!" He left. _Stop making friends! Why won't you, what's the word, listen_?! A voice in my head asked. _Why are you loving peeps who'll hate you!? You haven't gotten any less bacon balls._

 _Whatever_ , I thought. _I don't fluff_. I did some walking and came to this rocky cliff. It was pretty awesome-sauce. And guess who was on it?

"Seven," Undyne said, looking at this red… sky? No… roof, I guess. "Seven human souls, and King Asgore will become a god."

"Undyne, I don't wanna 'cause probs, but… Like I said…" I said, looking up.

"Do you think that we monsters can't be determined?" Undyne asked. "Is that what you humans think?"

 _Humans don't think monsters are real_ , I thought. "No! 'Course not! I-"

"We may not have your powerful souls, but we have hope," Undyne said. She looked at me. "Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed."

 _By my… bacon balls stuff?_ I thought. _'Cause of that… prophecy._

"First, however, as is customary for those who make it this far, I shall tell the tragic story of our people," Undyne said. She looked away. "It all started, long ago…" She stopped and looked at me. "No, you know what?" Things got _whoa!_ "SCREW IT! WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT STORY, WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE?! NGAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" She took off her helmet thing. She had a blue, fishy (really) head, and awesome-sauce red hair.

"Holy sweet cheese balls!" I cried. I shrugged. "That's pretty awesome-sauce."

"YOU!" Undyne yelled. "You're standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! Alphys' history books made me think humans were cool… with their giant robots and flowery swordswomen."

 _Er… what?_ I thought. _But that sounds cheese balls_. _But I've heard none of that jazz. Only humans being bacon balls to each other and other things._

"BUT YOU?" Undyne asked. "You're just a coward!" _Spot on_ , I thought. _We all are_. "Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again! And let's not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes-schtick!" She made this weird face. "Ooh! I'm making such a difference by hugging random strangers!"

 _Well, it's more cheese balls to do that than hurt peeps_ , I thought. _But I hurt peeps anyway... Why do I try? Love?_

"You know what would be more valuable to everyone?" Undyne asked. "IF YOU WERE DEAD!"

 _Yeah_ , I thought, all bacon balls. _Look at what I'll be._

"That's right, human!" Undyne yelled. "Your continued existence is a crime! Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom! Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts pounding together! Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment!"

"Oh… cool beans." I said. _Holy, this is nuts_ , I thought. _What am I gonna do?_

"But we're not nervous at all," Undyne went on. "When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose! Now, human! Let's end this, right here, right now."

I sighed. "Undyne… you've gotta listen to my-"

"Step forward you're ready!" Undyne said. "Fuhuhuhu!"

I sighed and did my determination. I looked at Undyne. "I don't wanna do this, dude. But… holy crap. Let's fight." I walked up to her.

"That's it, then!" Undyne yelled. "No more running away!" She ran down with her spear. "HERE I COME!" The battle started. Undyne waved her spear thingy at me. My SOUL turned green. "En guarde!" she yelled. "As long as you're green, you can't escape!"

" _I'm waiting for it, that green light_ ," I sung. Undyne looked at me. "You turned my soul green… flow with my river here."

Undyne ignored my weird song joke. "Unless you learn to face danger head-on… you won't last a SECOND against ME!" She threw some spears at me. I blocked them with this purple shield thing.

 _Bacon balls, what'd I do?_ I thought. "Um… Undyne, dude, I don't wanna fight. Fluff that weird logic-jazz I was talking about. I really don't wanna fight. Let's be pals."

Undyne didn't listen. "Not bad! Then how about this?" She threw more spears at me. _Holy crap!_ I thought, blocking them. They were coming from all over the joint. "For years, we've dreamed of a happy ending…" More spears. I played the mercy game, but no jazz happened. "And now, sunlight is just within our reach!" Even more spears. I sighed. _What's next? She's not gonna listen… hey, I have lots of HP, so I could try..._

"Uh… hey, Undyne!" I said. "Your spear thingies… are too slick! That means easy, for your info."

"I won't let you snatch it away from us!" Undyne cried. Her spear thingos got faster. _Bacon balls_ , I thought. Somehow I was able to block 'em. Most, anyway. "NGAH! Enough warming up!" There were more spears. I got the ouchies. Getting ouchies is bacon balls, even though I didn't get many. Lots of HP. I decided to take a runner.

" _Fluff this crap I'm out_ ," I sung (I don't like saying bacon balls words). I ran outta the battle. "For cheese balls!" Undyne caught up to me. "Stupid cheese balls."

"You won't get away from me this time!" Undyne said. I was green again. I did my mercy jazz, and Undyne did her spear jazz. "Honestly, I'm doing you a favor…"

"Don't do me a favor," I said. _I don't deserve one._ "I just don't wanna fight." _I need to get out. Then I'll be doing_ you _a favor._

"No human has EVER made it past Asgore!" Undyne said. More spears came outta nowhere. "Killing you now is an act of mercy!"

 _I'm gonna have to make it past Asgore_ , I thought. _I'm… I'm bacon balls. A killer. I can't be here. Look at what I am._

"So STOP being so damn resilient!" Undyne said. I did another runner. I came to this joint near this sign that said, 'WELCOME TO HOTLAND'. Undyne caught me and attacked. "Alphys said humans were determined… I see now what she meant by that!" More spears. "But I'm determined too! Determined to end this right now!"

 _Me too_ , I thought. _I feel like crashing… again._ Undyne threw more spears at me. I pulled another runner. Someone called me on my phone.

"HEY!" Papyrus said from the phone. "WHAT'S UP?"

"Not much," I said. _I found out I could kill everyone, Undyne's tryna kill me, and I'm fluffing tired!_

Papyrus said, "WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING… YOU, ME, AND UNDYNE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOMETIME! I THINK YOU TWO WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS! LET'S MEET UP AT HER HOUSE LATER!"

 _Don't you dare say yes-_ "Cool beans, sounds cheese balls, Papyrus." _I hate you._ Undyne caught me again.

"STOP RUNNING AWAY!" Undyne yelled. I spared her. "NGAHH! DIE ALREADY, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" I ran away again, and came to this hot, dry, lava-filled joint called Hotland. Sans was sleeping at his sentry station. _Aw, holy!_ I thought. _Bacon balls! Why can't I crash?_ I ran past him and across this bridge. Undyne was still after me. But when I got to the end of the bridge, she wasn't going so fast.

"Armour… so hot…" Undyne said. "But I can't… give up…" She fell over.

 _Not you too!_ I thought. I sighed. _Alrighty dite, what've we got here_. I saw this water cooler. I took a cup of water and put it on Undyne. She got up, looked around, and walked off. "Uh… see ya later, dude…" I said. I sighed. _Maybe before I hang with her and Papyrus, I should go crash somewhere_. I frowned. _Why am I always so fluffing tired? Why can't I be, what's the word, useful?_

 _Whatever_ , I thought. _I don't fluff. Who would?_ I looked away. _I'll just go back to Snowdin or something. I can get some Nice Cream._

So off I went.


	8. A fish lady gives me cooking class

**~Chapter 7: A fish lady gives me cooking class~**

I had the power to SAVE. Y'know how I fluff 'bout determination? Well, that's SAVE. If I died, I'd come back to life at the SAVE thingo. But I hadn't died. I was really strong and jazz. And... the power kinda felt like... it wasn't mine. Like I was... using it from someone else. And it was only there in Monstertown. Not the surface. That's got nothing to do with the dream I had… I mean, it was all the normal scary stuff... y'know, killing peeps. Then it went all... different.

There were these two kids. Me... and this kid who looked just like me. Really. We were, like, the same. Almost. I was, what's the word, younger, and wearing some fancy clothes. The other kid was wearing that blue-and-pink-striped shirt, and they looked older. We were at... this mansion, I think they're called. Yeah. Anyway, the kid and I were hanging in the garden. We looked... pretty cool beans with each other, though my brain was all like, _who's this dude?_

"What?" the kid asked, looking at me. _Their voice..._ I thought. _It sounds..._ "Yeah, I like your house." Pause. "No. I don't like you just because you're rich." They smiled. "Yeah, you're my BFF, too." Pause. "Heh... we are kinda like siblings... Hey, uh... I got... something to ask you. Well, a promise, actually." Pause. "Um... n-no matter what... h-happens, will you always be my best friend...?" Pause. "Thanks. I knew you'd be there." Pause. "Yeah, I promise too." Then they went all scary, and looked at me- not the dream me, but the _me_ me. " **Forever**."

* * *

I woke up. I was in the Snowed Inn. The peeps next door were loud as holy crap. I was freaked. _What was that?!_ I didn't know who that kid was and what we were talking about. _We were friends... or siblings? And their voice sounded... what's the word, familiar_. I didn't get it. I sighed. _Bacon balls_ , I thought. _These dreams gimme so many fluffing questions._

I got all my stuff and sussed my bag: two Nice Creams, two Cinnamon Bunnies, space-dude food, family jazz, other things I can't remember. I went to Undyne's joint, which was near Napstablook's. Her house was like a scary fish head, that was half-black and half-white. Papyrus was hanging out in front.

"OHO!" he said. "THE HUMAN ARRIVES!"

"Papyrus!" I said. "'Sup, dude?"

"ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE?" Papyrus asked. "I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU TWO GREAT FRIENDS!"

 _She just tried to kill me_ , I thought. "You can bet my cheese balls on it!"

"OKAY!" Papyrus said. "STAND BEHIND ME!" I did that. "PSST," Papyrus said quietly. "MAKE SURE TO GIVE HER THIS." He held up this… bone thing. "SHE LOVES THESE!"

"Cool beans." I said. Papyrus knocked on the door. Undyne came out, wearing… casual clothes, I think they're called.

"Hi, Papyrus!" she said. "Ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?"

"YOU BET I AM!" Papyrus said. "AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!" He moved out the way.

"'Sup?" I said, doing my jazz.

Undyne smiled. "Hi, I don't think we've…" She stopped smiling when she saw who I was. "...Why don't. You two. Come in?"

"Alrighty dite." I said, going in her house with Papyrus. "Dude, awesome-sauce house!" It was a cheese balls house. Fish wallpaper, giant swords, a table, a kitchen, a piano. All that jazz.

"Thanks…" Undyne said awkwardly.

"HERE, UNDYNE," Papyrus said, holding that bone thing. "MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU, ON THEIR OWN!"

"Yeah, on my own." I said. _Not_.

"Uh… thanks…" Undyne said. She took the bone thingo. "I'll, uh, put it with the others." She put it in this drawer. "So are we ready to start?"

"WHOOPSY DOOPSY!" Papyrus said. "I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!" He jumped out the window.

"Monsters use the loo?" I asked. "I haven't seen a toilet anywhere! I thought that was a human thing."

"Uh…" Undyne frowned. She went bacon balls. "So why are YOU here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? IS THAT IT?!"

"Oh holy crap no!" I said. "I came here to be pals." _Though you won't wanna be friends with me_ , I thought. _No one would. You'll all hate me._

"Really?" Undyne asked. "How delightful! I accept! Let's all frolick in the fields of friendship! ... NOT! Why would I EVER be friends with YOU?!"

 _I ask myself that question 24/8_ , I thought. _Wait, it's 25/7, not 24/8. Wait…_

"If you weren't my houseguest, I'd beat you up right now!" Undyne said. "You're the enemy of everyone's hopes and dreams!"

 _And a killer,_ I thought. _All I'm cheese balls for is being bacon balls…_

"I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND." Undyne said angrily. _Cheese balls_ , I thought. _You won't wanna be. I get it, and I don't fluff._ "Now get out of my house!"

"DANG!" Papyrus said from the window. "WHAT A SHAME… I THOUGHT UNDYNE COULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. BUT I GUESS… I OVERESTIMATED HER. SHE'S JUST NOT UP TO THE CHALLENGE."

"CHALLENGE?! What?!" Undyne asked. "Papyrus! Wait a second...!" She looked at me. "Darnit! He thinks I can't be friends with YOU?! Fuhuhu! What a joke! I could make friends with a wimpy loser like you _any_ day! I'll show him!" She sounded _whoa_. "Listen up, human. We're not just going to be friends. We're going to be… BESTIES."

 _Oh holy_ , I thought. _This ain't going down cheese balls._

"I'll make you like me so much…" Undyne went on. "You won't be able to think of anyone else! Fuhuhuhuhu! It's the PERFECT REVENGE!" She stopped. "Why don't you have a seat?" I did some sussing out first. Undyne had some pretty awesome-sauce stuff (like a hot fridge!). But she kinda got her human history fluffed up. Our history's… um… pretty bacon balls, in a cheese balls way. There's alotta death… and wars. But some of it's cheese balls. I dunno that much. I don't fluff 'bout history a lot.

Anyway, I sat down.

"Comfortable?" Undyne asked. "I'll get you something to drink." She pulled some stuff out. "All set! What would you like?"

"I dunno," I said. I stood up. "I'll-" Undyne threw this spear at me and fluffed up the table.

"HEY!" she said. "DON'T GET UP! YOU'RE THE GUEST! SIT DOWN AND ENJOY YOURSELF!" She became _ehh_. "Um, why not just point to what you want? You can use the spear."

I held the spear. "Alrighty dite," I looked at the drink stuff. There was soda, tea, some other stuff I can't remember. I felt like tea. "Tea, please."

"... tea, huh?" Undyne asked. "Coming right up!" She did her tea-making. "It'll take a moment for the water to boil."

"Cool beans," I said. I looked at Undyne's spear. "Awesome-sauce spear, by the way. Where'd you get it?"

"It's my magic attack," Undyne said. She looked at the tea. "Okay, it's all done!" She gave me the tea. "Here we are." She sat down on the other side. "Careful, it's hot."

"Uh…" I looked at the tea.

"It's not THAT hot!" Undyne said. "Just drink it already!"

I drunk the tea. _Holy crap, it burns!_ I thought. _Burn, baby, burn_. I smiled. "Cheese balls tea."

"Right?" Undyne asked. "Nothing but the best for my ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS FRIEND!" We didn't talk for a bit. "You know… it's kind of strange you chose THAT tea. Golden flower tea… That's Asgore's favorite kind."

"The king?" I asked.

"Actually, now that I think about it…" Undyne said. "You kind of remind me of him. You're both TOTAL weenies! ...sort of."

"That's me." I said. _I'm way more bacon balls._ "Hey, uh, I got a question to ask. Are you… ever gonna let Papyrus into the Royal Guard? He's, like, y'know, kinda crazy 'bout it. He really wants to join. Holy, he even tried to 'capture' me. You can see that went kinda... bacon balls."

Undyne sighed. "Um, to be honest… I don't know if… I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard. Don't tell him I said that! He's just… well… I mean, it's not that he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough!"

"Yeah," I said. "That fight with him was pretty nuts. But... I'm super strong and jazz, so..."

Undyne went on, "It's just that… he's… he's too innocent and nice! I mean, look, he was SUPPOSED to capture you… and he ended up being FRIENDS with you instead!"

"And, when I passed out, he let me crash in his bed." I said. _He could've captured me then… but he didn't. He helped me. He and his brother._ _Me of all peeps._

Undyne nodded. "I could NEVER send him into battle! He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds. That's part of why… I started teaching him how to cook, y'know? So, um, maybe he can do something else with his life."

"That's a cheese balls thing to do," I said. "Hope he gets something outta that." I looked away. "What 'bout you? How'd you join the Guard?"

Undyne sighed. "I was a pretty hot-headed kid. Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn't land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back! I was so humiliated… afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy… 'Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?' I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. I felt… bad. But he was beaming… I had never seen someone more proud to get their butt kicked. Anyway, long story short, he kept training me… and now I'm the head of the Royal Guard!"

"That's cool beans," I said. "That old turtle dude who sells jazz said you were pretty rock-hard." I was… kinda starting to like being 'round Undyne. She was awesome-sauce. **LOVE is your downfall.** A voice in my head said. I ignored it.

"Gerson," Undyne said. "I remember him. I used to follow him everywhere… he's a hero!" She looked at my cup. "Oh, sorry, I was talking for so long. You're out of tea, aren't you? I'll get you some more." She got up. "Wait a second. Papyrus… his cooking lesson… HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW! And if HE'S not here to have it… YOU'LL HAVE TO HAVE IT FOR HIM!"

 _Oh bacon balls_ , I thought. _I don't have cheese balls times in kitchens._ It was kinda _yipee!_ or _whoopsie-doopsy!_ for me and cooking. I could make a giant cake or set the house on fire. Oh well. _Risk it for a chocolate biscuit!_

"That's right!" Undyne yelled. "NOTHING has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means that if I give you his lesson… WE'LL BECOME CLOSER THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!"

 _Oh holy,_ I thought. _I hope we're making ice-cream! Hot ice-cream…_

"Fuhuhu!" Undyne said. "Afraid?! We're gonna be best friends!" She jumped over and, what's the word, grabbed my head. She pulled me over to this bench thing. I put all my hair back in front of my face. _No one needs to see me, no one should see me_ , I thought. "Let's start with the sauce!" Undyne cried. Some vegetables came outta the blue.

"Where'd you get these?" I asked. "Can you grow jazz here? I'd like to visit your garden. Pretty monster garden. You could grow cool beans!"

"Never mind that!" Undyne said. "Anyway! Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Now! Pound them to dust with your fists!"

"I don't do that jazz," I said. I pet the tomatoes and stuff. "'Sup, guys? Dunno why I'm talking to you. 'Cause you look soppy, I suppose."

"OH MY GOD!" Undyne yelled. "STOP PETTING THE ENEMY! I'll show you how it's done! NGAHHH!" She kinda killed the veggies and made a mess. "Uh, we'll just scrape this into a bowl for later. But for now…" Some pots and noodles came outta the... whatever. "...we add the noodles! Homemade noodles are the best! BUT I JUST BUY STORE-BRAND! THEY'RE THE CHEAPEST! NGAHHHHHHHHH! Uhh, just put them in the pot."

"Cool beans." I said. I put the noodles in. Slowly. I didn't wanna cause probs.

"Nice?" Undyne said, like _dude, really?_ "Alright! Now it's time to stir the pasta! As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir, THE BETTER IT IS! Ready? Let's do it!" I stirred. "Stir harder!" I stirred harder. "HARDER!" I stirred harder. "HARDER!" Yeah... "Ugh, let me do it!" Undyne used her spear thing. "Fuhuhuhu! That's the stuff!"

"Cool beans stuff." I said.

Undyne said, "Alright, now for the final step: TURN UP THE HEAT! Let the stovetop symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams turn into burning fire! READY!? Don't hold anything back!" I turned up the heat. "Hotter!" Y'know. "HOTTER, DARNIT!" Having a cheese balls day so far, peeps? "HOTTER!" Yeah, me too. It was raining before. I like rain. "Wait, that's too-" Undyne's house set on fire.

"Oh..." I said. "Bacon balls. This has... kinda happened before."

Undyne sighed. "Ah. Man, no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking."

"Uh… do you think we should leave or something?" I asked. "Kinda burning in here." _This house is on fiirrreeee!_

"Yeah, good idea," Undyne said. "Then what's next? Scrapbooking? Friendship bracelets?" She frowned. "...oh, who am I kidding. I really screwed this up, didn't I?"

"Nah, dude!" I said. "This hangout thing was awesome-sauce! Even if we… set your house on fire. But hey! It's cheese balls!" _I'm just a waste of time_ , I thought. _I'm sorry. Look at what I am._

Undyne sighed. "I can't force you to like me, human. Some people just don't get along with each other."

"But I _do_ like you!" I said. _You don't like me_ , I thought. _I get it._ "C'mon, let's go hang at the Nice Cream truck. I love Nice Cream." _Don't force peeps to do stuff_ you _wanna do!_ Some thought said.

Undyne frowned. "I hate ice-cream!" She sighed. "Sorry… If you feel like we're not friends, I understand… because it means I can destroy you without regret!" She pulled out a spear.

"Holy crap, dude!" I cried. Battle begun.

"I've been defeated…" Undyne said. "My house is in shambles… I even failed to befriend you. That's it. I don't care if you're my houseguest anymore. One final rematch! All out on both sides! IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN REGAIN MY LOST PRIDE! NOW COME ON! HIT ME WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT! NGAHHH!"

"Dude!" I said. "I said I _do_ wanna be your pal!" I sighed. _I won't make you._ "Alrighty dite, then! I'LL SHOW YOU MY POWER! ...and jazz." I held out my stick in a scary way. _Fake attack time!_ "FOR CHEESE BALLS!" I hit Undyne with the stick. It did 17 damage. "WHAAA!" I said. "Holy crapping cheese and bacon balls on fire, I didn't mean to hit ya that hard! That wasn't even a real... dude... I'm sorry!" _How strong am I?!_

Undyne looked at me. "Fake attack?!" She smiled. "You're... stronger than I thought, then. If you can do that much damage without trying."

"Dude," I said. "I... I didn't mean to... I just wanna be pals!" _Why am I so bacon balls!? She must hate me now._ "I didn't know I could hit _that_ hard... sorry."

"You said you're my friend, right?" Undyne asked. I sighed. "Heh, you know what?" She got rid of her spear. "I don't actually want to hurt you either. At first, I hated your stupid saccharine schtick, but… The way you hit me right now… you hit me out of love and not aggression. Now I know you aren't just some wimpy loser. You're a wimpy loser with a big heart! Just like him…"

"Beats being bacon balls to each other." I said. _You... forgive me? I... don't deserve that jazz._

"Listen, human," Undyne said. "It seems that you and Asgore are fated to fight. But knowing him… He probably doesn't want to. Talk to him. I'm sure you can persuade him to let you go home. Eventually, some mean human will fall down here… and I'll take THEIR soul instead! That makes sense, right? Fuhuhu."

"Spot on the mark." I said, smiling. _I have to fight the king dude? Why am I smiling?!_

"Oh, and if you DO hurt Asgore," Undyne said. "I'll take the human souls… cross the barrier… and beat the hell out of you! That's what friends are for, right? Fuhuhu!"

"Again, spot on the mark." I said. "Now… can we, uh, leave before we get burnt?" We left.

"Well, that was fun, huh?" Undyne asked, hanging in front of her burning house. "We'll have to hang out again another time…! But, uh, somewhere else, I guess. In the meantime, I guess I'll go hang out with Papyrus. So if you need me, drop by Snowdin, okay?!"

"Cool beans." I said.

"OH!" Undyne said. "And if you ever need help, just give Papyrus a ring, okay? Since we're in the same spot, I'll be able to talk too!"

"Awesome-sauce!" I said. "Well, see ya, Undyne."

"Later, punk!" Undyne said, running off. I sighed. _Holy crap_ , I thought. _I really need to change my ringtone. And get outta here before I make more friends. I'm human. I need to go back to Humanland. It's… bacon balls for me here. I'm gonna hurt people. I just did._ I got another scary dead peeps image. _Alrighty dite, let's move._

* * *

"Tra la la," this hooded dude on a boat said. "I am the riverman. Or am I the riverwoman…? It doesn't really matter."

"You've got no gender either?" I asked. "Let's be pals, river bud."

"I love to ride in my boat," the river dude said. "Would you care to join me… friend?"

I smiled. "Holy crap yeah! Let's go to Hotland. I've heard there's some jazz there."

"Then we're off…" the river dude said. We sailed over the water. "Tra la la… hmm, I should have worn a few million more pairs of pants today."

"And I should _really_ change my ringtone." I sighed. "'Cause you're my bud, does this sound cheese balls?"

" _It's Tuesday, Tuesday, gotta get down on Tuesday!_ " my phone sung. **[A/N: Will be explained XD]** I thought, _what the crap? My favourite day's Thursday! And... why's that song on my phone? Is it because my-_

"You'll know what sounds best," the river person said. "Tra la la. We're here."

"Cool beans," I said. "Thanks, dude!" I got off the boat. "Holy crap! It's hot here…" It really was. And lava-ish. And dry. And red. And there was a lab. _A lab?_ I thought. _Better suss it out. Maybe I can scrounge up some… um… science-y stuff._ So I went into the lab. It was a cheese balls lab, with lots of paper and food. And there was a big TV with my face on it. _The fluff?!_ I thought. _Am I a YouTube star now?_

Then this door opened. A monster walked out. A small-ish yellow monster, who sorta looked like a dinosaur, wearing science-y stuff and glasses. Also all the lights turned on.

"'Sup?" I said.

"Oh. My god." the monster said, freaking out. "I didn't expect you to show up so soon! I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy-"

"Dude, whoa, chill!" I laughed. "Sorry for… uh… getting here kinda quick. What's your name? Are you… Dr. Alphys?"

"Um… yeah, that's me," the monster said. "I'm Asgore's royal scientist! B-b-but, ahh, I'm not one of the 'bad guys'!" _I am_ , I thought unhappily. "Actually, since you stepped out of the Ruins, I've, um… been 'observing' your journey through my console. Though… um, sometimes, for… reasons I don't know, the cameras would switch off… and you'd be m-moving quickly. Like you were afraid."

"That's… weird," I said. _When I was getting scary voices?_ I thought. _Oh holy crap_ \- "Hey, I… remember your voice… did you call me for pizza forevsies ago?"

"Um… maybe..." Alphys looked _ehh_. "Anyway, I've been… observing it all. Your fights… your friendships… I was originally going to stop you, but… watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. S-so, ah, now I want to help you!"

"Awesome-sauce!" I said happily. _I hate getting help._ "What can ya help me with?"

"Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland!" Alphys said. "I know a way right to Asgore's castle, no problem!"

"Whoo! You are cheese balls!" I said. Alphys looked _ehh_. "You cool beans, dude?"

"Well, actually, um," Alphys said. "There's just a tiny issue." _Bacon balls_ , I thought. "A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something. Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. You know, just some small practical adjustments. Like, um… anti… anti-human combat features?"

I frowned. "Aw, dude."

"Of c-course," Alphys went on. "When I saw you coming, I immediately decided… I have to remove those features! Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so. And, um… Now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood?"

"Aw, _dude_!" I said. _I just wanna go home!_

"But, um," Alphys said. "Hopefully we won't run into him!" The ground started shaking. "...Did you hear something?" Yeah, it got more bacon balls. "Oh no…" Then something… very bright happened.

"Ohh yess!" a voice called. "Welcome, beauties…" This robot was there, holding a microphone. "To today's quiz show!"

 _Oh crap_ , I thought. _Here we go._


	9. I go on the TV shows of death

**~Chapter 8: I go on the TV shows of death~**

"Oh boy!" Mettaton cried, colourful stuff falling from the roof. "I can already tell it's gonna be a great show! Everyone give a big hand for our wonderful contestant!" Colourful stuff fell on my head. I waved, 'cause I was on TV and all. "Never played before, gorgeous? No problem! It's simple! There's only one rule. Answer correctly…" Things got spooky. "Or you die!" Battle went up, yo.

 _What'd I do?_ I thought. _Well, my… real mom's been on TV a lot._ So… I fake-cried. You wouldn't hit a soppy kid, would you? Mettaton said 'screaming' was 'against the rules'. Whatever.

"Let's start with an easy one!" Mettaton said. " _What's the prize for answering correctly?_ " There were four answer thingos: A, B, C, D. Alphys was hanging on the side, giving me the, what's it called, answer: D - _more questions_. _Cheese balls_ , I thought, giving that answer. Mettaton was cool beans. "Right! Sounds like you get it!" It was my turn, so I played the mercy game. "Here's your terrific prize! _What's the king's full name?_ " Alphys showed me it was C, _Asgore Dremurr_. I flowed with her river.

"Correct!" Mettaton cried. "What a terrific answer!" Mercy from me. "Enough about you! Let's talk about me! What are robots made of?" 'Cause of human smartness and seeing _Robots_ , I knew the answer was B, _metal and magic_. _Love me, Rodney!_ "Too easy for you, huh?" Mercy. "Here's another easy one for you!" This bacon balls maths one showed up. I was like, _ehhh, I can't do maths!_ Thank cheese balls Alphys was there. She was, like, being my new pal. She gave me the answer.

"Wonderful!" Mettaton cried. "I'm astounded, folks!" Y'know what I did. "Don't 'count' on your victory. _How many flies are in this jar?_ " _Maths again?_ I thought. _Hey, is it maths or math? Or mass?_ Alphys gave me the answer (thank cheese balls). "Correct! You're so lucky today!" So… vanilla or chocolate ice-cream? If you see me talking here, you'll know I played the mercy game. "Let's play memory game!" A pic of a… froggit, I think, was on screen. Alphys was saying it was Mettaton, so I went with her. She was spot on. "I'm so flattered you remembered!"

Dudes, I just can't choose, what's the word, between those two cheese balls flavours. Mettaton asked, "But can you get this one? _Would you smooch a ghost?_ " The answers were all _heck yeah!_ Alphys was all _heck no!_ I was all _heck whatever!_ So I just picked A. "Great answer! I love it!" They're just fabo ice-creams! "Here's a simple one. How many letters in the name Mettaton nnnnnn…." And lots more ns to come. Alphys said the answer was C, so yeah. "Of course that was easy for you!" They're, like, cheese balls popular, y'know? "Time to break out the big guns! In the dating simulation game _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ , what is Mew Mew's favorite food?"

"OH! OH!" Alphys cried. "I KNOW THIS ONE! IT'S SNAIL ICE-CREAM!" _What?!_ I thought. _An ice-cream I've never heard of? My life's bacon balls!_ "IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER, EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH! AND SHE BUYS ICE-CREAM FOR ALL HER FRIENDS BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about friendship and…" Alphys frowned. _I'd have that ice-cream!_ I thought. _Ice-cream's life!_

"Alphys, Alphys, Alphys." Mettaton said. "You aren't helping our contestant, are you?" Alphys was all like, _nah, 'course not!_ "OOOHHH! You should have told me! I'll ask a question… You'll be sure to know the answer to! _Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?_ " Alphys was freaking out. I looked at the answers: _Undyne, Asgore, the human_ (aka me) and _don't know_. I don't know who don't know is, so they were outta the question. Me too… for now. That left Undyne and Asgore. _Undyne was fluffing a lot 'bout Alphys_ , I thought. So… I choose that answer.

"See, Alphys?" Mettaton asked. Alphys looked all bacon balls. "I told you it was obvious. Even the human figured it out. Yes, she scrawls her name in the margins of her notes. She names programming variables after her. She even writes stories of them together… sharing a domestic life. Probability of crush: 101 percent. Margin of error: one percent."

"Holy, Alphys," I said. "You're _caught in a bad romance_!" Alphys gave me this bacon balls look. I shrugged it off.

"Well well well," Mettaton said. "With Dr. Alphys helping you, the show has no dramatic tension! We can't go on like this! But…! This was just the pilot episode. Next up: more drama! More romance! More bloodshed! Until next time, darlings!" Mettaton turned into this… jetpack thingo and left.

"You cool beans, Alphys?" I asked, looking at the monster.

"...I'm fine," Alphys said. "That was certainly something." She frowned. "Th-that last question… he wasn't s-supposed to ask that one…" She looked away.

"Bacon balls, man," I said. _Like me._ "Well… guess I'd better get going."

"Wait, wait!" Alphys said. She walked over to me. "Let me give you my p-phone number! T-then… maybe… if you need help, I could…"

"Sounds awesome-sauce," I said. I gave Alphys my phone. "Here you go."

Alphys freaked. "Wh… where'd you get this phone?! It's ANCIENT! It doesn't even have texting. W-wait a second, please!" She ran off and came back. "Here, I upgraded it for you! It can do texting, items, it's got a key chain… I even signed you up for the No. 1 social network!"

"Awesome-sauce!" I said. "Hey, can I do my internet nickname thing?" Alphys said yeah, so I did that. I called myself IceCreamIsLife. "Cheese balls! And we're friends, too. I'm gonna post so much stuff!" _If anyone's into that_ , I thought. _Who would be?_

"Yeah," Alphys said. "Ehehehehehe… heh heh… heh…" She looked 'round awkwardly. "I'm going to the bathroom." She went to the loo, though she was really just hanging out behind the door. 'Cause monsters don't use the loo (I asked). That's a human thing. Anyway. There was one of those moving stair thingies you see at malls… what are they called? Escalators, yeah. I went up one and came to this new joint. There was some cheese balls stuff, like 'human history' books, which weren't really true.

There was a work desk, tools, this weird goop machine, anime posters, Mettaton posters, letters from monsters… other jazz. Then I left and found this fridge. I took some Instant Noodles and left the lab. I decided to post something on my social media thingo.

I took a pic outside Alphys' place. _sussing out hotland! it's hotttttttt :p better be ice-cream here XD_. I walked for a bit. Alphys posted something: _just realized i didn't watch undyne fight the human v. v_. She posted a bit later. _well i know she's unbeatable i'll ask her abt it later ^. ^_. A bit more. _for now i gotta call up the human and guide them =^. ^=_.

 _the human says ty_ , I said on the status. _oh, good_ , Alphys said back. _wait…_ I ran into Vulkin. I spared it by telling it it was awesome-sauce, 'cause that's what I do. I posted on the UnderNet, _just spared Vulkin :D maybe I should've flirted with it XD_. I went on this… conveyor belt thing. _hotland has… these conveyor belt things._ I posted. _like the airport lol. do u monsters even know what that is XD_

Alphys posted, _gonna call them in a minute! =^. ^=_. I went up a few more conveyor belts, coming to this determination joint. _filled with determination!_ I posted, taking a selfie. Alphys posted, _I HATE USING THE PHONE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS LMAO ^. ^_. I came to these vents. _vents lol_ , I posted. _hotland's crazy XD_. I ran into Tsunderplane, who got in my way, 'totally not on purpose'.

"Hey, Tsunderplane," I said, being all cheesy- and flirty. "I like what movies and books you're into."

"Huh?!" Tsunderplane cried. "Y-you sicko!" It chucked a bunch of bombs on me, then 'accidentally' hit me with its wing. (What does accidentally mean again?) I got a bit closer to it.

" _So baby, pull me closer._ " I sung. Tsunderplane looked all _ehh!_ Planes flew at me. They were green, so I touched 'em. Tsunderplane blushed. Then I spared it.

 _lol_ , I posted. _tsunderplane is totes in luv with me XD_ _bout time I find someone down here who's like dat XD_. I went back to the vents and flew over some. It was kinda cheese balls. Alphys posted, _omg ive had my claw over the last digit for 5 minutes. omg im just gonna do it omg im just gonna call!_ I laughed and went over some more vents. Then I got another scary daydream... in midair. Bacon balls me was… holding up a knife and saying, **THE WORLD WILL BE RE-MADE.**

 _HOLY CRAP_ , I posted. _I JUST HAD THIS CREEPY BACON BALLS DAYDREAM LOL. i'mma call my pals and see what theyre up to XD_. I called Papyrus and Undyne.

"'Sup, guys?" I said. "I've got… what's it called, social media. So hook me up. My name's IceCreamIsLife."

"Just added you, punk!" Undyne said. "I'm StrongFish91. Papyrus is CoolSkeleton95. Oh, you're at the steam vents? I think Alphys told me about those. The Core cools off by releasing steam through those… and at the same time, it doubles as transport! Pretty cool, if you aren't wearing a dress!" She hung up. I went over more vents. Someone tried to ring me, but they hung up.

 _lol_ , I posted. _someone tried to ring me, but they hung up. bacon balls i'm still not cheese balls with my ringtone :P_. I came to this joint full of lasers. _bacon balls_ , I posted. _lasers and jazz ahead. theyre not red lol that's my soul's colour XD wait brb someone's ringing_. I sussed the phone.

"Uhh!" Alphys said awkwardly. "H-hi, so, the blue lasers… uhh! I mean, Alphys here! Hi! The blue lasers won't hurt you if you don't move! O-orange lasers, you h-have to be moving, and they… um, they won't, um… move through those ones! ...uh, bye!" She hung up.

 _it's cool beans_ , I posted. _Alphys told me how 2 pass the lasers_. Alphys posted, _OMG I DID IT! claws haven't shook like that since undyne called me to ask about the weather… v. v_. I passed the lasers. _still cool beans_ , I posted. _why was I scared I'm super strong lol_. Alphys posted, _WAIT THERE'S NO WEATHER DOWN HERE WHY DID SHE CALL ME_.

 _just found a switch to turn off those bacon ball lasers_ , I posted. _wait how did I know that… oh well_. I did a lil' more walking. Alphys posted, _Oh My God i Forgot to Tell THem Where To Go._ Then she posted a pic of… a trash can, with all these… filters, I think they're called, over it. I shrugged and came to more vents. Alphys rang.

"A-A-Alphys here!" she said. "Th… the northern door will stay locked until you… s-solve the puzzles on the right and left! I… I think you sh-should g-g-go to the right first!" She hung up. I posted, _i've gotta do more puzzles XD i've done more puzzles on 1 day here than all my time on the surface lol #puzzlefreak_. I went to these doors and came to these puzzles. _bacon balls idk how to do these_ , I posted. _but I don't wanna ask 4 help. risk it for a chocolate biscuit XD_.

The puzzle was about… something to do with destroying a bacon balls ship. It took a lil' work, but I made it. _cheese balls_ , I posted. _just did the puzzle XD lol i'm hungry but I don't wanna eat my food #hungercrap_. I did another puzzle (Alphys helped moved some laser), then went past that northern door. _i feel like i'm missing jazz_ , I posted. _whatever i just wanna get outta here XD_.

I found some more vents when Alphys called me.

"Uh…" she said. "I think… uhm… Hey! About the puzzles on the left and right, they're a bit difficult to explain, but-"

"Been there, done those." I said.

"You've already solved them?" Alphys asked. "Awesome!" She hung up. _Cool beans_ , I thought. I jumped over a few more vents. I came to this kitchen-like place. I posted, _i'm at a kitchen or something now lol XD_. I took a pic and posted that too. _am i gonna be cooking? holy crap i'm bacon balls and cheese balls at cooking_ _XD_. I went into the joint. It was dark in there. Very dark. Someone rung me.

"H-hey," Alphys said. "It's kind of dark in there, isn't it? Don't worry! I'll hack into the light system and brighten it up!" The lights turned on. It was a kitchen (whoopie-doo, right peeps?). "Oh no." Alphys said, freaked. Mettaton showed up.

"Ohhh yes!" he said. "Welcome, beauties, to the underground's premier cooking show!" _Cooking With a Killer Robot_ was on screen, looking all fancy. I took a quick selfie and posted, _on a cooking show lol its gonna be fabo XD_. Mettaton said, "Pre-heat your ovens, because we've got a very special recipe for you today! We're going to be making… a cake!"

"Aw, bacon balls," I said. "I wanted to make ice-cream. Oh well. Cake's cool beans."

"My lovely assistant here will gather the ingredients," Mettaton went on. "Everyone give them a big hand!" I waved as colourful stuff fell from the roof. "We'll need sugar, milk and eggs. Go for it, sweetheart!" I got all the ingredient thingies. "Perfect! Great job, beautiful! We've got all of the ingredients we need to bake the cake! Milk… sugar… eggs… Oh my! Wait a magnificent moment! How could I forget! We're missing the most important ingredient!" Mettan pulled out this chain-saw. _Holy crap!_ I thought. "A human SOUL!" He moved near me.

"Why is it always in kitchens?!" I yelled. Alphys rung.

"Hello…?" Mettaton asked angrily. "I'm kind of in the middle of something here!"

"W-wait a second!" Alphys said. "Couldn't you make a… couldn't you use a… couldn't you make a substitution in the recipe?!" _Why're you helping me, Alphys?_ I thought. _I… don't deserve this. I deserve nothing._

"... a substitution?" Mettaton asked. "You mean, use a different, non-human ingredient? ...Why?"

"Uh…" Alphys said, all _ehh_. "What if someone's… vegan?"

"...Vegan." Mettaton said.

 _Be useful, dumbo,_ my thoughts said. "She's got a cheese balls point, Mettaton," I said. "Like-"

"That's a brilliant idea!" Mettaton cried. "Actually, I happen to have an option right here! MTT-brand-Always-Convenient-Human-Soul-Flavor-Substitute!" _Meat Tornado Tag sure makes alotta stuff_ , I thought. _Who're they anyway?_ "A can of which… is just over on that counter!" He was spot on the mark: that jazz was on a counter. "Well, darling? Why don't you go get it?"

"Alrighty dite, cool beans," I said. _If I can_. I went over to the counter. It flew into the air like a ladder. _The crap?_ I thought.

"By the way, our show runs on a strict schedule," Mettaton said. "If you can't get the can in the next one minute… we'll just have to go back to the original plan! So… better start climbing, beautiful!"

"Alrighty dite, cool beans." I said. _I'm dead_ , I thought. _Adios, peeps_. Alphys rung me.

"Oh no!" she said. "There's not enough time to climb up!" She paused. "F-f-fortunately, I might have a plan! When I was upgrading your phone, I added a few… features. You see that huge button that says… 'JETPACK'? Watch this!" My phone turned into a jetpack.

"Dude…!" I said. **You're just like me** , the scary voice said. I jumped. _What the crap!?_

Alphys went on. "You should have just enough fuel to… are you okay?"

"Cool beans, go on." I said. _Anything but that._

Alphys said, "Okay… you should have just enough fuel to reach the top! Now, get up there!" I took off. I'd never used a jetpack before, so I was all like _holy bacon balls!_ And Mettaton was chucking stuff at me. I flew all over the joint, tryna dodge the stuff. I was freaking out, though I didn't show it. A lil' while later, I got to the can thingo.

"My my," Mettaton said. "It seems you've bested me." _Somehow, holy_ , I thought. "But only because you had the help of the brilliant Dr. Alphys! I loathe to think of what would have happened to you without her! Well, toodles!" He left. And came back. "Oh yes! About the substitution... Haven't you ever seen a cooking show before? I already baked the cake ahead of time! So forget it!" Then he left. I went back to the ground.

Alphys rung me. "Wow… we did it!" _You did it_ , I thought. _I'm, what's the word, useless._ "We… really did it! Great job out there, team! W-well, uh, anyway, let's keep heading forward!" She hung up. I posted, _soz 4 the break. just went on a whoopie-doo cooking show XD_. I went ahead and saw this big engine-looking thing. Alphys called and told me it was the CORE. So I took a selfie nearby it. _at the Core thing_ , I posted. _on my way home :D_. I looked again. _So close, holy_ , I thought. _The surface's not that far._ I paused. _I'mma tell my friends 'bout this._ So I called Papyrus and Undyne.

"'Sup peeps!" I said. "I'm at the COREEEEEE! Gettin' closer, huh?! Isn't this awesome-sauce?" _I dunno_.

"THAT CLOSE, HUH….?" Papyrus said. He sounded a little _aw, man_.

"Yeah! Wait, what?!" Undyne said. She sounded soppy too. "We just became friends!"

"Oh, bacon balls," I said. _I wanna be cheese balls, but…_ "Well, uh, I gotta get home and all, so… uh, cake! Bye bye adios bye!" _What the fluff was that?!_ I thought. _Bacon balls phones… bacon balls me…_ I frowned. _I've gotta be cheese balls. This is the surface. Look what I am- human._ _I don't care 'bout down here. Gotta go there._ I frowned. _But… bacon balls… I…_ **My world will be so much better than the surface. Why won't you listen?** I ran off.

I went into a lift. I got to level R2. I said 'sup to Heats Flamesman (remember his name!) and found Sans selling hotdogs.

"Sans!" I said. "'Sup, dude?"

"hey buddy," Sans said. "what's up? wanna buy a hot dog? it's only 30G."

"Alrighty dite." I said. Sans gave me a hot dog.

"thanks, kid," he said. "here's your 'dog. Yeah. 'dog. apostrophe-dog. it's short for hot-dog."

"Cool beans." I said. I sussed my bag (not including family jazz): two Nice Creams, a Cinnamon Bunny, space-dude food, Instant Noodles, a Bisicle, and the hot dog. 'Cause I was hungry, I bought another. Sans put it on my head, 'cause there was no room in my bag.

"it's on the house," he said. "well, no. it's on you."

"Cool beans," I said. "Dude, put another one on me. I wanna take a selfie." Like, 28 or whatevsies hot dogs later, Sans drew the Great Wall of China. I mean, the line. Sans drew the line. Wait, he didn't draw anything. Anyway, he stopped with the hot dog jazz. I took a selfie, made it my profile pic, and posted, _I have lots of fluffing luv for hot dogs rn lol_. I went ahead and ran into Pyrope. I turned up the heat and got really hot. It wasn't cheese balls for my hair, 'cause it was getting all yuck on my face. But I played the mercy game and did my jazz. I went down this path and found an apron.

 _NAPSTABLOOK22 has sent you a friend request_ , social media said. It kinda got rid of itself before I could say yah. _Aw, dude_ , I thought. I took a pic of the apron. _someone left an apron here_ , I posted. _looks pretty human i'm gonna suss it out_. I sussed it out. Determination said- yeah, determination chatted me up- that it was called a Stained Apron and healed 1 HP every other turn. _Cool beans_ , I thought. I put it on and took a selfie, holding out my stick. _fabo XD_ , I posted. I walked for a bit. I came to some puzzle with those belts you see at airports. Oh yeah, conveyor belts. Alphys rung.

"H… hi…!" she said. "It's Dr. Alphys. This p-puzzle is kinda… um… timing-based. Y-you see those switches over there?"

"On the mark." I said. "That means yeah."

"Y-you'll have to press all three of them within three seconds," Alphys went on. "I'll t-try to help you with the rhythm!" She hung up. I looked at the switches. _Alrighty dite, let's do this jazz_ , I thought. I went on the belt thingos and poked 2 switches, 'cause I didn't need to press anymore. I called Alphys and told her 'bout the two switches and not three. She was all like, _oh, bacon balls, what?_

I came to this joint full of vents. I posted a selfie with the vents, _so many fluffing vents lol #heatingup_. Alphys posted, _dinner with the girlfriend :)_ and a pic of a catgirl next to some instant noodles. CoolSkeleton95 (aka Papyrus) posted _ARE WE POSTING HOT "PICS"? HERE IS ME AND MY COOL FRIEND_. It was a pic of Papyrus with… biceps… and wearing sunglasses.

Alphys posted, _LOL, CoolSkeleton95!_ _...that's a joke, right?_ Papyrus posted, _THE ONLY JOKE HERE, IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE_. I posted, _i wonder what taco ice-cream tastes like. when i get to the surface i've gotta make it XD tbh i kinda wanna call my pals but i'm fluffing awkward on phones lol._ I went up to the first vent when Alphys rang.

"Uh, h-h-hey!" she said. "I'm going to the bathroom, so I'll be MIA for a bit. I'm… sure you can handle this puzzle yourself!" She hung up, and posted, _that's the last time i try to help with a puzzle lmao_. I looked at the vents. I posted, _who's MTT? is this Meat Tornado Tag guy famous?_ While I was jumping over vents, someone said, _who's Meat Tornado Tag?_ I said, _MTT, dude. I know what it stands for but idk who they are tho lol_. The someone said, _MTT is Mettaton_.

 _Mettaton?_ I thought. _MTT… Holy, that makes alotta sense! Bacon balls I'm dumb. I always am._ I posted, _bacon balls XD XD i'm dumb as bacon balls MTT is Mettaton and I know him XD_. I did the puzzle and ran into Tsunderplane and Vulkin. I told Vulkin it was awesome-sauce and got near Tsunderplane, then did my determination near this safe and a box. Alphys posted, _OMG? ppl think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1? LOLLLLL that's a joke right…_ I walked a bit. Alphys posted, _omg… DONT THEY GET IT IT RUINS Mew Mew's ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC_.

Alphys posted, _My Mew Mew 2 review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy Nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 stars_. I posted, _wish I had some music and stuff here. I feel like making a song joke XD_. I walked a bit more, when someone yelled, "Hey, you! Stop!" These two royal guards- wearing armor and all- came over.

"We've, like, received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a striped shirt," RG 01 said. "They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now… I know, sounds scary, huh?"

"Yeah, man," I said. "Humans give me the freaks." _I am the freak._

"Well, just stay chill," RG 01 said. "We'll bring you someplace safe, okay?" I walked after them. RG 01 looked at RG O2. "... Huh? What is it, bro? The shirt they're wearing? ...Like, what about it?" RG 01 looked at me. "Bro… are you thinkin'... what I'm thinkin'?" _Getting bacon balls feelings from this_ , I thought. "Bummer. This is, like… mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff."

We got into battle. I cleaned RG 02's armour. He took his armour off. RG 01 looked all _ehh_. I'm dumb, but I know love when it's in the air. Even though you can't see it (I flirted with peeps- I know love). RG 01 was totes in love with me. Nah. He was in love with RG 02. I told RG 01 to tell his feelings and stuff.

"D-dude…" RG 01 said to RG 02, all _ehh_. "I can't… I can't take this anymore! Not like this! Like, 02! I like… I like, LIKE you, bro! The way you fight… The way you talk… I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync… 02… I, like, want to stay like this forever…" RG 02 looked awkward. "Uh… I mean, uh… Psyche! Gotcha, bro! Ha ha!"

"... 01." RG O2 said.

"Y-yeah bro?" RG O1 asked. _This is going cheese balls_ , I thought.

"... do you want to…" RG 02 said. "... get some ice-cream… after this?"

"Sure, dude! Ha ha!" RG 01 said.

"You dudes are going out for ice-cream?" I asked. "Can I come with? I live for ice-cream." The guards looked awkward. "Nah, it's cool beans. You dudes go do your jazz. But save some for me." I spared 'em and moved on. I posted, _just got RG 01 and 02 together! so cheesy :*_. Alphys posted, _oopswait how's the human doing_. She then posted, _Top Ten Shows That Make You Forget To Do Your Frickin Job_. I walked some more and came to a dark place.

 _bacon balls_ , I posted. _i'm at a dark joint lol Mettaton's gonna kill me i guess 0_0 #holycrap_

Alphys rung. "Okay, I'm back! A-another dark room, huh? Don't worry! M-my hacking's got things covered!" Lights turned on. Mettaton really was there. It looked like the news. I was on this big screen, so I waved. "Are you serious?"

"Ohhh yesss!" Mettaton said. "Good evening, beauties and gentle beauties! This is Mettaton, reporting live from MTT News! An interesting situation has arisen in Eastern Hotland! Fortunately, our correspondent is out there, reporting live! Brave correspondent! Please find something newsworthy to report! Our ten wonderful viewers are waiting for you!"

"Alrighty dite, then." I said. I sussed out the joint, and found the dog that took that artifact and Papyrus' bones. I call that dog 'Ebay Money' now. I posted, _on MTT News rn reporting Ebay Money. it took my pal's bones and some artifact I could've put on Ebay #fluffydog_. "This dog." Mettaton said some jazz about the dog that I can't remember for some reason. Then he said something else: "Oh my! Looks like this is not a dog, but a bomb! And it's about to blast you to bits!"

"Bacon balls." I said. Scary voice time! " **The souls of** \- ...Uh, g-go on! Keep talking this up!" _I hate myself._

"...But don't get too excited!" Mettaton said. "You haven't even seen the rest of the room yet!" The room came outta the blue. There was some random stuff 'round me, all bombs. And Hotland jazz… 'cause I was still there. "Oh my! It seems everything in this area is actually a bomb! That script's a bomb! That basketball's a bomb! Even my words are…!" Mettaton's words went _KA-BOOM!_ "Brave correspondent… If you don't defuse all of the bombs…" He flew up to this big pink bomb. _Holy bacon balls_ , I thought. "This big bomb will blow you to smithereens in two minutes! Then you won't be reporting 'live' any longer!"

"Bacon balls pun, holy-moley challenge." I said. _I'm dead. Very bacon balls and dead._

"How terrible!" Mettaton said. "How disturbing! Our nine viewers are going to love watching this! Good luck, darling!"

Alphys rung. "D-don't worry!" she said. "I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone! Use the 'defuse' option when the bomb is in the DEFUSE ZONE! N-now, go get 'em!"

"Alrighty dite, let's spot that mark." I said. I went up to Ebay Money. I defused it. It woke up. _Ebay Money, you rock! Kinda._

"Great job!" Alphys said. "Keep heading around the room! Try to go for the one in the bottom-left next!" So I went there. I defused this weird game bomb. Alphys said bottom-right next, so yah. Then I chased after this glass of water, which could MOVE. Really. Then it was this basketball and some present. It was kinda _ugh_ to defuse some of those bombs, 'cause I have no skills, but hey.

"Well done, darling!" Mettaton said. "You deactivated all of the bombs! If you didn't deactivate them, the big bomb would have exploded in two minutes. Now it won't explode in two minutes! Instead it'll explode in two seconds! Goodbye, darling!"

"What the crappy bacon balls?!" I yelled. _Aw, holy!_ But the bomb wasn't exploding.

"Ah," Mettaton said. "It seems the bomb isn't going off."

Alphys said, all _ehh_ , "That's b-because! While you were monologuing… I…! I f… fix… um… I ch-change…"

"Oh no," Mettaton said. "You deactivated the bomb with your hacking skills."

"Yeah!" Alphys said. "That's what I did!"

"Curses!" Mettaton cried. "It seems I've been foiled again! Curse you, human! Curse you, Dr. Alphys, for helping so much! But I don't curse my eight wonderful viewers for tuning in! Until next time, darling!" He left.

"W-wow…" Alphys said. "W-we really showed him, huh?" She paused. "H-hey, I know I was kind of weird at first… but I really think I'm getting more… uh, more… m-more confident about guiding you!"

"Yeah, dude," I said happily. "You're doing awesome-sauce with this guiding jazz. I'd be bacon balls if you weren't there." _I already am._

"Th-thanks…" Alphys said. "Heh… s-so don't worry about that b-big d-dumb robot… I-I'll protect you from him! A-and if it really came down to it, we could just t-turn… um, never mind. Later!" She hung up. _Aw, holy, dude_ , I thought. I posted, _lol just beat MTT again XD wouldnt have been able to do it w/o Alphys tho. rn i just wanna crash but snowdin's so far :P maybe there's somewhere in Hotland._

I went past the Core. Alphys rung. "Um… I noticed you've been… kind of… um… s-strange… are you worried about meeting Asgore...? W-well, don't worry, okay? Th-the king is a really nice guy…"

"Everyone's been saying that." I said. "Guess I'm a little _ehh_." _I'm gonna wet myself I'm so ehh..._

Alphys went on, "I'm sure you can talk to him, and… w-with your human soul, you can pass through the barrier!" _Cheese balls…?_ I thought. "S-so no worrying, okay? J-just forget about it and smile." _I try to_ , I thought. I posted, _holy so tired rn. i'll just take the boat back to snowdin and crash there :D_. I thought, _I'm gonna have another bacon balls dream… but who cares. I always do_. So, 'course, that's what I did.


	10. A spider lady tries to make me into cake

**~Chapter 9: A spider lady tries to make me into cake~**

 _just leaving snowdin_ , I posted. _said 'sup to pals and jazz. going back 2 hotland_. I had another dream, if you wanna know. It was the scary stuff. It looked like my future, 'erasing the underground' or whatever the prophecy said. That just made me go, _dude, let's run_.

Back at Hotland, I went on this elevator thingy and came to L3. This spider-lady (not spiderman) was selling donuts and stuff. A sign said, 'Spider Bake Sale. All proceeds go to real spiders'. I spoke to the spider lady.

"Got any ice-cream?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not, dearie," the spider lady said. "But there are some pastries for sale. All proceeds go to real spiders~"

"Alrighty dite, I'll suss it out." I said. I sussed the webs. _9999G?_ I thought. _Bacon balls, I don't have the bucks_. I posted, _lol this spider bake sale thingo is alotta money. I haven't got enough :(_. So I went past that. _Wait_ , I thought. _Weren't they selling that jazz in the Ruins? Bacon balls, I didn't buy anything there_. I went on and found one of those vent puzzles.

"Hi, Alphys here!" Alphys said, calling me. "This room is like the room we saw before. There are two puzzles to the north and south. You'll have to solve them both to proceed."

"Cool beans, thanks." I said.

"Also, I'd like to say…" Alphys went on. "I don't really… like giving away puzzle solutions. But if you need help, just call me, okay?" She gasped. "Actually, wait, I have an idea! Let's be friends on UnderNet!"

"Dude, we're already friends there," I said. "Haven't cha been readin' my posts?"

"Oh…" Alphys sounded awkward. "I forgot that was you! ...eh heh. And you must've been reading _my_ posts the whole time… well! I hope! You agree with me! About _Mew Mew 2_!" She hung up. I posted, _brb gotta solve some puzzles._ I'm not gonna talk 'bout the puzzles. Just 'cause it's kinda _meh_. But I will say Alphys rung me while I was going to one of the puzzles.

"Hey!" she said. "This um, doesn't have anything to do with guiding you… but… uhh, hey, would you want to watch a human TV show together? Sometime?"

"That'd be awesome-sauce," I said. _Why would you want to?_ "What TV show?"

"It's called, um…" Alphys said. "M… _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ …"

"Never heard of it," I said. "But yeah, that'd be cheese balls."

"R-really?" Alphys asked. "It's so good! It's um, my favourite show! It's all about this human girl named Mew Mew who has cat ears! Which humans don't have! S-so she's all sensitive about them! But like eventually she realizes that her ears don't matter that her friends like her despite her ears it's really moving whoops, spoilers! Also this sounds weird but she has the power to control the minds…" She got really fast that I just can't even. I just can't even.

"Whoa, dude, chill out!" I said. "That show sounds cheese-balls, but… chill."

"Eh… heh… anyway, I think you'd really like it!" Alphys said, all _ehh_. "We should watch it! After you get through all this!" She hung up. _Whoopie-doo_ , I thought. _If I live_. **You'll live after the end** , the scary voice said. **In my world**. _The fluff you talking 'bout?_ I thought. I felt _ehh_. _Who even are you?!_ But they were gone. So I did the puzzle. When that jazz was done, I got to the next joint. It was purple and there were spiders and stuff. I did my determination and looked at the spider joint.

 _at this spider place_ , I posted, taking a selfie. _here I go XD_. I went into the spider place. There were spiders and spider webs and darkness. Also, my, what's it's called, reception was blocked, so I couldn't call peeps. Cheese balls...

"Ahuhuhuhu," this scary voice said. "Did you hear what they just said?" I walked a bit. "They said a human wearing a striped shirt will come through."

Another voice said, "I heard that they hate spiders." I wasn't cheese balls 'bout this chat. I walked into this big web, getting my boots in this cobweb stuff.

"I heard that they love to stop on them." another voice said.

I looked up at the webs. "Spiders, dudes, that's not-"

"I heard that they like to tear their legs off." another spider said. I walked some more. This web stuff was getting all over me. I couldn't move anymore.

"Bacon balls," I said. "Webs ain't my style." The spider lady from before showed up. "Oh, 'sup, dude. Kinda stuck here."

"I heard…" she said. "That they're awfully stingy with their money."

"Dude," I said. "If you had ice-cream I would've bought that, but nah, ya didn't."

"You could've bought something else, dearie," spider lady said. "Unless… you think your taste is too refined for our pastries." I was gonna say something, but… "Ahuhuhu… I disagree with that notion. I think your taste… is exactly what this next batch needs!" She laughed.

"Uh… you mean I get to taste-test your jazz?" I asked. "Holy, I'll eat any fluff you put on my plate - not bacon and granny smith apples - so I'm kind of a bacon balls peep to ask."

"Oh, no, deary," spider lady said. "You _are_ the next batch!" We got into battle. _Bacon balls_ , I thought. _She's gonna try and make me into food_. _That doesn't flow with my river. But maybe it flows with everyone else's…_ I saw spider lady's name was Muffet. I could give her some bucks, try and get out, or check. I sussed her out, 'cause why not.

"Don't look so blue, deary~" she said. _I'm blue now?_ I thought. _You should've seen my battle with Papyrus!_ Anyway, she poured this weird jazz on me. My soul turned purple. "... I think purple is a better look on you! Ahuhuhu~"

" _I wanna see you laughing in the purple rain_." I sung. "It's my thing. Don't judge me." I decided to give Muffet some bucks. Her attack thing wasn't so bacon balls.

"You should be proud, deary," Muffet said. "Proud that you're going to make a delicious cake~ Ahuhuhu~" She sent all these spider dudes at me. I jumped all over the joint, tryna get outta their way. I was feeling pretty bacon balls, so I tried to get out. Muffet laughed. "Let you go? Don't be silly~" More spider dudes.

" _Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can_ ," I sung. " _And this spider, really can, turn a kid into food_." I tried to get out again. Muffet found that so funny she made the donation thingo cheaper.

"Your SOUL is going to make every spider very happy~~~" Muffet said. More spiders. Lots of spiders. And some donuts. I got a few ouchies. I decided to give her 20G 'cause it was kinda cheap. "Oh, how rude of me!" she said. "I almost forgot to introduce you to my pet~" She smiled. "It's breakfast time, isn't it? Have fun, you two~" There were more spiders, then this big… thing showed up. It was scary. My soul was going all over the joint, tryna dodge Muffet's pet.

"Holy crap!" I shouted. I think that's my battle cry. Or 'for cheese balls'. Thank cheese balls that pet went away. I was down to 50 HP.

"The person who warned us about you..." Muffet said. More spiders. I played the mercy game. "Offered us a LOT of money for your SOUL." I wondered who this dude was. Spiders. Mercy. Ouchies. "They had such a sweet smile~ and… ahuhu~" Spiders. Gave 60G. "It's strange, but I swore I saw them in the shadows… changing shape?" She threw… croissants?

"Sounds like a weird dude." I said. Mercy. Then Muffet got out her pet again. Bacon balls. I had to eat a Nice Cream - yum. That's the cheese balls part.

"With that money, the spider clans can finally be reunited~" Muffet said. More spiders. _You should've picked mercy!_ You've heard that song, right? "You haven't heard? Spiders have been trapped in the Ruins for generations!"

"Well," I said. "I'm sure we can just ask Mom to…" I stopped. Thinking about Toriel was making me soppy. **Save yourself.** I ignored that bacon balls voice and went back to the spiders.

"Even if they go under the door, Snowdin's fatal cold is impassable alone." Muffet said. _Yeah, that joint's pretty chilly_ , I thought. Spiders. Mercy. "But with the money from your SOUL, we'll be able to rent them a heated limo~" Spiders. Mercy. "And with all of the leftovers...? We could have a nice vacation~" She smiled. "Or even build a spider baseball field~"

"Baseball?" I asked. "Awesome-sauce sport! You heard of the Diggers? They're a cheese balls team. I used to wear their shirt _all_ the time." _Before this one I'm wearing now_ , I thought. _Eh, Corey never fluffed 'bout that team anyway_. More spiders. Mercy. Then that bacon balls pet was back. I was at 35 HP.

"You're still alive?" Muffet asked. "Ahuhuhu~ Oh, my pet~ Looks like it's time for dessert~" Then this spider showed up with… "Huh? A telegram from the spiders in the Ruins? They're saying that they saw you, and… even if you are stingy, you never hurt a single spider." Muffet laughed. "Oh my, this has all been a big misunderstanding~ I thought you were someone that hated spiders~"

"Yeah, dude," I said. "I don't hurt spiders." _I'll hurt everyone._

"The person who asked for that SOUL…" Muffet said. "They must have meant a DIFFERENT human in a striped shirt~ Sorry for all the trouble~ Ahuhuhu~"

"It's cool beans." I said. _Almost_.

"I'll make it up to you~" Muffet said. "You can come back here any time… and, for no charge at all… I'll wrap you around and let you play with my pet again!"

"Uh… thanks, but I'll pass." I said, looking away.

"Ahuhuhuhuhu~ Just kidding~" Muffet said, laughing. "I'll SPARE you now~" So, cheese balls, mercy! "Ahuhuhu… that was fun! See you again, dearie!" She laughed, then left. _Holy moley crappy cannoli_ , I thought. _That was kinda fun_. I left the spider place and posted, _lol, just got away from this killer spider and jazz_. I came to this purple room, which sorta looked like the Ruins. There was a poster on the wall 'bout some show Mettaton was doing. I wanted to suss it out.

I got to this dark room that looked like it came from a stage. There was a big castle there.

"Oh, that human..." Mettaton said, on that castle. He was wearing a dress. "Could it be…? My one true love…?"

"You love me?" I asked. "Cool beans. Hey, saw your poster. Where are you having your show?" Mettaton came down the stairs. Then I got the flow. This _was_ the show. And if I was in a show, then I'd have to act, too.

" _Oh my love_ ," Mettaton sung. " _Please run away…_ "

" _Uh… sure_." I sung back. I couldn't go far.

" _Monster King_ ," Mettaton sung. " _Forbids your stay… humans must… live far apart…_ "

" _Bacon balls_." I sung. _Probably for the best._

" _Even if_ ," Mettaton sung. He sounded soppy. " _It breaks my heart…_ " Rose petals were coming from somewhere. " _They'll put you… In the dungeon… it'll suck… and then you'll die a lot…_ "

" _That's not cheese balls…_ " I sung. _Spot on, for once._

" _Really sad…_ " Mettaton sung. " _You're gonna die… cry cry cry… so sad it's happening_." The petals stopped. "So sad," Mettaton said. "So sad that you are going to the dungeon." He pressed this button. "Well, toodles!" I fell down this hole. I came to this joint that looked like Hotland. Well, it _was_ Hotland. There was a conveyor thingy, then a puzzle.

"Holy crap." I said. _I'm dead._

"Oh no!" Mettaton cried. "Whatever shall I do? My love has been cast away into the dungeon! A dungeon with a puzzle so dastardly, my paramour will surely perish!" I looked at the puzzle. It looked… what's the word, familiar. Like I'd seen it before. "O, Heavens have mercy! The horrible colored tile maze!"

"Holy," I said. "I've seen this before. Like, a gazillion rooms ago. The tiles do all these crazy things… right?"

"That's right!" Mettaton said. "You remember all the rules, don't you?"

"Yeah." I said. _No_.

"Great…" Mettaton said. "Then I won't waste your time repeating them! Oh, and you'd better hurry. Because if you don't get through in 30 seconds…" Some fire popped outta the blue. "You'll be incinerated by these jets of fire! Ahahahahahahaha! Ahaha… Ha… ha…! My poor love! I'm so filled with grief, I can't stop laughing!"

 _Monsters laugh when they're soppy?_ I thought. _I just listen to Screamo... if I can get it._

"Good luck, darling!" Mettaton said. I went onto the conveyor thing. It didn't look like the puzzle was gonna go nuts this time. Mettaton was singing as I got fluffed on the puzzle. I got shocked a lot and bit by some piranhas. I also smelled like oranges and lemons. I like oranges and lemons, so that was cheese balls. The bacon balls thing was that I didn't get past.

"Oooh, I'm so sorry!" Mettaton said. "Looks like you're out of time!" The fire showed up. "Here come the flames, darling!"

"Bacon balls." I said. _Cheese balls knowing you, world._

"They're closing in!" Mettaton cried. The fire got near me. "Getting! Closer! Oh my!" Closer. Not the song. "Any minute now!" The fire wasn't touching me. Mettaton coughed.

Alphys rung. "Watch out! I'll save you! I'm hacking into the firewall right now!"

"Oh no!" Mettaton cried. "How could this happen? Foiled again by the brilliant Dr. Alphys!"

"That's right!" Alphys said, pretty cheese balls. "Come on, Mettaton, give up already! You'll never be able to defeat us… Not as long as we work together! Your puzzle's over… now go home and leave us alone!"

"Spot on the mark, Alphys!" I said, being all _whoopie-doo!_ "You go home, Mettaton! You can't stop us!" _You probably can if you try._

"Puzzle?" Mettaton asked. "Over? Alphys, human, darlings, what are you talking about…? Did you forget what the green tiles do? They make a sound, then you have to fight a monster. Well, darling… that monster… is me!" Mettaton pulled me into a fight.

"Bacon balls," I said. I yelled, "HOLY CRAP, STOP!" 'Course, it didn't work.

"This is it, darling," Mettaton said. "Say goodbye!" My phone rung. "Is that your phone? You'd better answer it."

"H-hey!" Alphys said. "Th-this seems bad, but don't worry! Th-there's one last thing I installed on your phone…! You see that yellow button…? Go to this phone's ACT menu and press it!"

"Alrighty dite, then." I said. I pressed the yellow button. Something weird happened.

"This is it, darling!" Mettaton said... again. "Say goodbye!" Then my soul turned yellow and went upside-down.

" _And it was called yellow_." I sung. I could shoot stuff as well, and Alphys told me to, so I shot lots of yellow things at Mettaton. _He better not be dying,_ I thought.

"Ooh," Mettaton said. "You've defeated me! How can this be, you are stronger than I thought, etc." He walked off. "Whatever." The battle was done.

Alphys rung. "L-looks like you beat him! Y-you did a really great job out there."

"It's on you," I said. "Credit's yours." _I did nothing._

"What?" Alphys asked. "Oh no, I mean… you were the one doing everything cool! I just wrote some silly programs for your phone."

"Don't put yourself down, dude," I said. "You were awesome-sauce! I said it before, but… without you, I'd be dead." _'Cause I'm nothing._

"Um… thanks," Alphys said. "But… it was both of us! Ehehehe… um, h-hey, this might sound strange, but… c-can I tell you something?"

"Sure, dude," I said. "Roll it in."

"B-before I met you, I d-didn't really…" Alphys said, all _ehh_. "I didn't really like myself very much. For a long time, I felt like a total screw-up. L-like I couldn't do a-anything w-without… w-without ending up letting everyone down."

"Aw, dude," I said. "I get it." _You're just like me_ , I thought. _I always let peeps down._

"Guiding you has made me feel…" Alphys went on. "A lot better about myself. So… thanks for letting me help you."

"No prob, man," I said. "Can… I, uh, tell _you_ something? I… didn't really like you helping me. 'Cause I just… don't like peeps helping me. Makes me feel like…" I stopped. _Like I'm using them_. "Um, well, we started acting like a team, and that was cool beans. And now you're saying guiding me… makes your self-love go up. So… if you feel that way 'bout guiding me… keep doing it. I can put up with it." _Honesty. For once._

"Ehehe, thanks…" Alphys said, smiling (I guess). "I... I really appreciate it… uhh, anyway, we're almost to the Core. It's just past MTT resort. Come on! Let's finish this!"

"Alrighty dite," I said. Alphys hung up. "Wait, there's a resort?! Dude…! I could've gone there! Oh well." I posted, _lol been forevsies since a post. almost at MTT resort, didn't know it was there 'till now I COULD'VE GONE THERE AND NOT SNOWDIN :P DX_. I walked a bit more. I posted, _so, i've seen alotta hotland. it's not that bacon balls. kinda cheese balls, really_. I came to this new joint.

"ICE-CREAM!" I screamed. _Dude, chill out! Hey, get it? Chill out! 'Cause ice-cream's cold! Man, I feel like groaning at my own pun_. I posted, _CHEESE BALLS ICE-CREAM ICE-CREAM YEAAHHH *0*_. The royal guards from before were also there, hanging out. I walked up to the Nice Cream dude.

"Take my money," I said, holding out my bucks. "Nice Cream. Now."

"Oh, uh, sorry, kid!" the Nice Cream guy said. "Those two fellas over there bought everything! I'm all sold out!"

I fell on the ground. "NOOO! THIS IS THE MOST BACON BALLS THING EVER!" I posted, _I CHANGED MY MIND HOTLAND'S BACON BALLS! NO ICE-CREAM! D:_

"Actually, we, like, saved you one." RG 01 said. "Because you, like, asked for one." He gave me a Nice Cream.

"You," I said. "You are AWESOME-SAUCE." I posted, _nvm got a nice cream so i'm cool beans_. "Totally owe you one."

"Just, like, don't tell Undyne about us rain-checking you." RG 01 said. I was cool beans with that. I went ahead and saw this big hotel thing. I posted, _at the resort now. core's just past here I think wish me luck huh XD_. I saw Sans hanging out in front of the resort.

"Sans!" I said. "'Sup, dude?"

"hey," Sans said. "i heard you're going to the core."

"You know it," I said. "It's after this resort, I think."

"how about grabbing some dinner with me first?" Sans asked.

"Yeah, sure," I said. "I was gonna crash at this resort, so I've got nothing on anyway."

"great, thanks for treating me." Sans said. He walked a bit. "over here. i know a shortcut." I ran after him. We came to this restaurant that was all fancy and jazz. We were at a table. "well, here we are." Sans said.

"Cool beans joint." I said. _I hope nothing bacon balls happens._

"so," Sans said. "your journey's almost over, huh? you must really wanna go home."

"Yeah," I said. "Home's where the heart is, right?" _I dunno. I just want it to end._

"hey," Sans said. "i know the feeling, buddo. though… maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you. down here you've already got food, drink, friends… is what you have to do… really worth it?" He looked away.

"Uh…" I said. _He's got a point..._ **But you must go there**. "You've got a cheese balls point there, dude, ha! Ha ha ha…" I looked away. "But… y'know, the Surface is… where I'm from and jazz. I kinda feel like… I've gotta go there. That's what my journey's about, right?" **No**. "Yes." _I don't know._

"ah, it's cool," Sans said. "i'm rootin' for ya, kid."

"Thanks, Sans." I said. "Means a lot." _You don't have to._

"hey," Sans said. "let me tell you a story." I nodded. "so, i'm a sentry in snowdin forest, right? i sit out there and watch for humans. it's kind of boring. fortunately, deep in the forest… there's this HUGE locked door. and it's perfect for practicing knock-knock jokes. so one day, i'm knocking 'em out, like usual. i knock on the door and say, 'knock knock'. and suddenly, from the other side… i hear a woman's voice. 'who is there?' so, naturally, i respond: 'dishes.' 'dishes who?' 'dishes a very bad joke.'"

"Heh," I said. "Cheese balls one! What'd the woman do next?"

"she howls with laughter," Sans said. "like it's the best joke she's heard in a hundred years. so i keep 'em coming, and she keeps laughing. she's the best audience i've ever had. then, after a dozen of 'em, SHE knocks and says… 'knock knock!' i say, 'who's there?' 'old lady!' 'old lady who?' 'oh! i did not know that you could yodel!'"

"Aw dude," I said. "This woman's awesome-sauce."

"yeah," Sans said. "she was extremely good. we kept telling each other jokes for hours. eventually, i had to leave. papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story. but she told me to come by again, and so i did. then i did again. and again. it's a thing now. telling bad jokes through the door. it rules."

"Heh, sounds like you two are cheese balls pals." I said. _Who's he talking 'bout? She sounds… like…_

"...one day, though," Sans said. "i noticed she wasn't laughing very much. i asked her what was up. then she told me something strange. 'if a human ever comes through this door… could you please, please promise me something? watch over them, and protect them, will you not?' now, i hate making promises. and this woman, i don't even know her name. but… someone who sincerely likes bad jokes… has an integrity you can't say 'no' to."

"Huh," I said. _He's talking about… Mom, isn't he? I miss her._ "Cool beans."

Sans looked away, then looked back. "do you get what i'm saying? that promise i made to her… you know what would have happened if she hadn't said anything?"

"Uh…" I said. I was getting a bacon balls feeling. "Nah, I got nothin'."

"...buddy." Sans said. He looked away again. He looked back, looking all scary. " **You'd be dead where you stand**."

"... oh…" I said. "...okay….." _Dude_ , I thought. _Mom… Mom backed me up. I… I…_ **You will take all**. I jumped.

"hey, lighten up, bucko!" Sans said, back to normal. "i'm just joking with you. besides… haven't i done a great job protecting you? i mean, look at yourself." He winked. "you haven't died a single time."

"That's spot on the mark," I said. "But it might be 'cause I'm super strong." _But why am I super strong?_ I thought. _It... doesn't feel..._ **The power is not yours** , the scary voice said. **It's mine.** _Who are you?!_ What _are you?!_ I thought. **You'll find out soon. You're getting closer.**

"not really normal for someone like you, but... hey, maybe you're special." Sans said. He walked to this plant. "well, that's all. take care of yourself, kid. 'cause someone really cares about you." He looked back before leaving. "and keep an eye on that other kid. what they're doing could be dangerous." He left.

 _Huh?_ _What other kid? Monster Kid?_ I felt all over the joint. _Monster Kid probably wouldn't be like that… so who's this other kid? There's a lot I don't know, huh… well, at least I know being super strong's not normal._ I left the restaurant after chatting to some peeps and came to the resort. I spoke to some more peeps. I took a selfie and posted, _in the MTT resort. gonna crash now so brb_. But I didn't feel sleepy. I just felt scared. _The world's hiding something from me_ , I thought. _Wish I knew what._


	11. I dance with a killer robot

**~Chapter 10: I dance with a killer robot~**

I had one of those weird dreams. There was that kid that looked like me… and me. We were hanging out in my real mom's garden.

The kid, with their, like, quiet voice said, "Remember that holiday I talked about? That one to Mount Ebott." Pause. "It was a short holiday…" Pause. "I didn't do much. Just… checked out the mountain." Pause. "That monster myth? Yeah, the monsters are real." Pause. "They _are_ real! I'm their… I mean, I think I saw one! Anyway… I got something to show you." They showed me their soul. It was red, like mine. "Know what this is?" Pause. "No, it's not my heart. It's my SOUL, the very culmination of my being." Pause. "Culmination means the highest point. It's all my energy and life force. You've got one too." Pause. "You'll get to see yours soon. Now… do you know what determination is?"

Pause. The kid said, "Thought so. It's this cool stuff that lets me do awesome things like… control time and come back to life! Also, I never give up!" Pause. "All humans have determination… but some have more than others. Like, you've gotta have lots of determination to do the time-controlling. More than anyone! So… I'm kind of the only one with this power." Pause. "Yeah, you have a power. That's why I'm talking about it. Your power's… different from others. But… it's gonna help me a lot." Pause. "No, not the time-controlling or coming back to life. But… your power is pretty cool. And you're gonna use it right now."

The kid smiled. "No one else has this power." They frowned. "But… when I show you it, your life's gonna change. Nothing will be the same." Pause. "You'll see what happens." The kid held out their soul, getting near me. "Now's your last chance to be... just you. If you want, go speak to your mom and dad. Play with your dog." Pause. Dream me looked away. "You don't want to do it? Please… you've gotta. Do it for your best friend." Pause. The kid smiled. "Thanks. You're the best friend ever." They looked away. "And... I'm sorry if this hurts." It went all fuzzy, but I think I saw this big flash of red. And then I woke up.

 _What was that all 'bout?_ I thought. _Holy, I have some fluffing nuts dreams._ I looked around. I was in this big bed at the MTT Resort. _Hey!_ I thought. _I'm going to the Core today!_ I frowned. _Cheese balls…? I'm super… excited…? Uh… I'm… finally going... home?_ I posted, _awake now just getting jazz then leaving MTT Resort_. I found this burger-emporium thing owned by this dude named Burgerpants. He was a little _ehh_. Or a lot _ehh_. And the burger joint wasn't cheap and had no ice-cream. Bacon balls.

But Burgerpants was cool beans. He gave me some life tips. Thanks, dude. I went outside and found these two gals in this scary alleyway thing. Their names were Bratty and Catty, and they sold trash. Like, real trash.

"It's GOOD garbage." Bratty said. She was like a crocodile… I think.

"Like, really good garbage." Catty said. She was like a cat.

"Don't worry peeps," I said. "Garbage is my jazz." _I've lived with garbage. I am garbage_. I sussed out what they had. They had some pretty human-looking stuff, but I didn't need that jazz. I was super strong. But I did buy some junk food, just 'cause I wanted some. Then I left. I left quickly 'cause... those two girls... they made me think of some human fams... or a human sister. I didn't want that to pull me back.

I left the resort. I posted, _leaving the resort now. Going to Core_. I got to the joint where the Core started. There was this bridge that went into this big machine-looking door. Two scary dudes were there. They went in.

Alphys rung. "Huh?" she asked. "Who are they? N-nobody else is s-supposed to be here… Oh well! We can't worry about that now!" She hung up. I shrugged and went onto my phone. I hadn't called Undyne and Papyrus for a bit, so I decided to hook 'em up.

"'Sup guys!" I said. "I'm going to the Core and jazz now."

"HEADING INTO THE CORE…?" Papyrus asked. "HMM…"

"The Core is a huge maze of electric towers," Undyne said. "So I don't think your phone will work through it…"

"Bacon balls, really?" I asked. _Maybe that's not so bacon balls._

"OH NO!" Papyrus cried. "WHAT WILL YOU DO WITHOUT US?"

"You have something you have to do, right…?" Undyne asked.

"Yeah, pretty sure." I said. _I don't know._

"Well…" Undyne said. "Even without words, we'll be with you in spirit, okay?!"

"YEAH!" Papyrus said. "YOU CAN'T GET RID OF US!"

"Aw, you guys are cheese balls." I said. _I don't deserve pals like you._

"We're counting on you, so don't mess it up!" Undyne said. They hung up. _I'll try_ , I thought. The UnderNet wasn't being cheese balls either. I posted, _dudes this may be my last post for a long time. going to the Core wifi's bacon balls. but don't freak! Ill be cool beans. keep being cheese balls, peeps!_ I posted a selfie, then went into the Core. It was blue and all electronic. There was a lift and some paths.

"Ready?" Alphys asked, calling me. I dunno how _she_ could call me. "This is it! Take the elevator up to the top of the Core!"

"Alrighty dite." I said. _Holy, here we go_. I went up to the elevator. It wasn't working.

"What?" Alphys asked. "The elevator should be working! Um… t-try going to the left!"

"Cool beans." I said. _Holy crap, this'd better do its jazz_. I went to the left. I got to this big, blue electric path. Then those two shadowy dudes showed up.

"W-watch out!" Alphys cried. I got into battle with the dudes- well, dude. It was this monster named Madjick. It threw some crosses and balls at me. I looked at its eye thingies. Then I played the mercy game and got 60 bucks. "Th-that was close…" Alphys said. "Wh… why are there so many monsters here?"

"Did they read my UnderNet thing and see I was coming here?" I asked. _Well holy crap._

Alphys sighed. "W-well… it's n-no problem… right? You're… super strong… right?"

"Oh, yeah," I said. "I'll be cool beans. Thanks, Alphys." I hung up. I came to this bridge, blocked by all these electric gate thingies.

"Looks like you can't proceed until you hit the switch," Alphys said, on the phone again. "B-but, those lasers will activate when you do." She was talking 'bout some lasers and a switch nearby. "Um… looks like they'll come in this order: Orange. Orange. Blue. G-got it? Move until the third one!"

"Cool beans." I said. I hit the switch and walked a bit. I got hit by the lasers, which weren't the colours Alphys said. Ouchies.

"Oh my god…" Alphys asked. "Are you hurt? I… I'm so sorry. I… I gave you the wrong order."

"Nah, it's cool beans," I said. "I'm super strong, remember?"

"L-let's just keep heading to the right!" Alphys said. I walked a bit and came to all these paths. "A crossroads…" Alphys said. "Uhh… uh… tr… try heading to the right!" I went to the right. Alphys said, "Wait! Uh… n-no, I think you should go up!"

"Alrighty dite." I said. I went up. There was a monster there. _Holy crap_ , I thought. It was this dude named Knight Knight. I sung a lullaby. Knight Knight threw her attacks at me. I ran all over the joint, tryna dodge them. I kept singing. Knight Knight fell asleep, so I played the mercy game. Alphys rung after that.

"Sorry, I… I…" she said, like _ehh_. "I thought that…"

"Dude, it's cool beans." I said.

"Let's try the right path instead!" Alphys said. _Didn't ya say_ not _to go there?_ I thought. _Whatever._ I went to the right. I came to all these lasers. "M… more lasers…" Alphys said. "Okay, I… I won't mess around this time. I'll just deactivate the lasers and let you through!"

"Alrighty dite," I said. The lasers weren't going off. "Uh…"

"They're… not turning off!" Alphys said, freaking out. "I can't turn them off, I… i-i-it's okay! I have this under control! I'm going to turn off the p-power for the whole node! Then you can walk across." I walked a bit. I was 'bout halfway when Alphys rang. "W-WAIT! STOP!" The lasers went back on. They were blue. "Th-the power… it's turning itself back on." She sounded more _ehh_. "D-damn it… th-this isn't supposed to… I… I'm gonna turn it off again. When it turns off, move a little, then stop. Okay? Y-you won't get h-h-hurt."

"Cool beans," I said. "Dude, don't worry 'bout me getting hurt. I've got this all under my belt." _I have no belt. I haven't got this._

"Just… be careful." Alphys said. She hung up. The power went off. I walked a bit. It went back on. Rinse and repeat. "S-see?" Alphys asked, when I was cool beans. "I've got everything under control. Everything's under control!" She hung up. I was feeling a little _ehh_. I kinda wished I could call my pals. Alphys was cheese balls, but y'know… _No,_ I thought. _I don't need them! I've got this! I can do it!_ But even saying that jazz didn't make me feel anymore cheese balls.

I got to another crossroads… yeah, they're called that. Alphys didn't know what to do, so she was like, _I'm out_. I felt really bacon balls. _What'd I do wrong?_ I thought. _Oh well…_ I went up this path and did my determination. There was some more electronic jazz. I ran into Astigmatism. It was kinda like Loox, but this time I picked on it. After that, I sussed out the Core. I found 100G and some signs. I kept going. I came to this bridge. Whimsalot and Final Froggit showed up.

I prayed for Whimsalot and did something awesome-sauce for Final Froggit. I went across the bridge and ran into Knight Knight and Madjick. Lullabies, looking into peeps' eyes, mercy game. Walking. Then the nightmare trio showed up! Astigmatism, Final Froggit and Whimsalot. It was getting kinda tiring fighting all those monsters. But I fought 'em anyway. At the end of the bridge, there was a switch. I pressed it, 'cause that's whatcha do.

"Holy." I said. I did some more sussing out. Blah blah, puzzles and battles. I found the door to the elevator to the King's Castle... And the elevator to the start of the Core. _So fluffing close_ , I thought. _Holy crappy cheese balls_. I did my determination there. I went into the door. It was a cheese balls door. I walked a bit. And guess who I ran into?

"Oh yes," Mettaton said. "There you are, darling." _Oh holy_ , I thought. "It's time to have our little showdown."

"Mettaton, Alphys and I said go home!" I said. I smiled. "So… uh… please do that?"

"The show hasn't even started!" Mettaton said. "This 'malfunctioning' robot hasn't been stopped yet!" He paused. "'Malfunctioning'? 'Reprogramming'? 'Go home'? Get real. This was all just a big show."

"Whaddya mean?" I asked. _I've got a bacon balls feeling 'bout this._

"An act," Mettaton said. "Alphys has been playing you for a fool the whole time."

"What?!" I asked. _Told you. She hates you. They all do._ **Which is why you should follow my plan.**

"As she watched you on the screen, she grew attached to your adventure," Mettaton said. "She desperately wanted to be apart of it. So she decided to insert herself into your story. She deactivated puzzles. She disabled elevators. She enlisted me to torment you. All so she could save you from dangers that didn't exist."

"What…" I said. I felt weird. "So… it was just… an act?" I didn't know what to say. "Alphys… why…?" I wasn't angry. I was just, like, _the crap, dude?!_

"All so you would think…" Mettaton said. "She's the great person… that she's not." I frowned. _Dude… I…_ "And now, it's time for her finest hour. At this very moment, Alphys is waiting outside this room. During our 'battle', she will interrupt. She will pretend to 'deactivate' me, 'saving' you one final time. Finally. She'll be the heroine of your adventure."

"So… she's doing this for her self-love, huh?" I asked. I got that. I did crazy things for… uh… my facade.

"You'll regard her so highly," Mettaton went on. "She'll even be able to convince you not to leave. Or not." I had a feeling fluff was gonna go down. "You see, I've had enough of this predictable charade. I have no desire to harm humans. Far from it, actually. My only desire is to entertain. After all, the audience deserves a good show, don't they? And what's a good show… without a plot twist?" The door locked behind me. Bacon balls.

"H-hey!" Alphys cried, behind that door. "Wh-wh-what's going on?! Th-th-the door just locked itself!" Some red lights went on. It looked pretty cheese balls.

"Sorry, folks!" Mettaton cried. "The old program's been cancelled! But we've got a finale that will drive you wild!" The thing we were hanging out on started going up.

"The crap?!" I asked, falling over on live TV. Cheese balls me.

"Real drama!" Mettaton shouted. "Real action! Real bloodshed! On our new show… _Attack Of The Killer Robot_!" We got into a fight… for real, I guess. My soul went yellow and upside-down again.

" _We all live in a yellow submarine_." I sung. "That's a nuts song." I played the mercy game. Mettaton wasn't flowing with my river yet. I asked him 'bout the Core and jazz... I dunno why.

"Yes, I was the one that rearranged the Core," Mettaton said. "I was the one that asked everyone to kill you. That, however, was a short-sided plan. You know what would be a hundred times better?" I shrugged. "Killing you myself!"

"Bacon balls!" I said. But no attacks hit me. "Uh…?"

"Listen, darling," Mettaton said. "I've seen you fight. You're weak."

"Weak?!" I asked. "I've got, like, 99 EXP and HP! How is that _weak_?! No… uh… offence, I guess."

"I didn't mean you were weak like that," Mettaton said. "You refuse to fight anyone, even with your high EXP. You won't stand a chance against Asgore! He'll kill you, and with your soul, he will destroy humanity." **No one can stand against you. Just get past.** That voice was getting louder and more scary. I ignored it and dodged all Mettaton's attacks.

"I've got this far, dude," I said. "Even Asgore won't pull me down."

"You don't know about that!" Mettaton said. "If I get your soul, I can stop Asgore's plan! I can save humanity from destruction." He threw all these bricks at me. I ran outta the way.

"Cheese balls plan, but…" I said. _What if the humans can't be destroyed and jazz?_ Mettaton chucked some more bricks and stuff at me.

"That's right!" Mettaton cried. "With your soul, I'll cross through the barrier and become the star I've always dreamed of being. Hundreds, thousands… No, _millions_ of humans will watch me!"

"Mettaton, dude, you've got the monsters!" I said, dodging his attacks. _What'll the humans do?_ **What they always do**. I sighed and shot some yellow things at some bricks, getting past. Some hit Mettaton.

"Glizt, glam, I'll finally have it all," Mettaton said. "So what if a few people have to die? That's show business, baby!" Then my phone rung. It was Alphys.

"U… Uh… I can't see what's going in there, but…" she said. "D-d-don't give up, okay?! Th… there's o-one l-l-last way to beat Mettaton… it's… um… it's… this is a work in progress, so don't judge it too hard…"

"Go on." I said.

"But, you know how Mettaton always faces f-f-forward?" Alphys asked. "That's because there's a switch on his backside. S-s-so if y-y-you c-c-can turn him around… and um… press th-th-th-the switch… he'll be um… he'll be… vulnerable. Well, g-gotta go!"

"Cheese balls," I said. I looked at Mettaton. "Hey, Mettaton! There's a mirror behind you!"

"Oh!" Mettaton cried. "Right! I have to look perfect for our grand finale!" He turned around. "Hmm…? I don't see it-" He didn't say anymore jazz 'cause I pressed his switch thing. "Did you… did you just flip… my switch?" He went nuts, and there was this big light.

"Uh…" I said. "Mettaton? You cool beans?" Then this stage and lights showed up. There was a human-ish dude hanging out in this smoke. I couldn't really see him.

"Ohhh my," the dude said. It was Mettaton. "If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You're desperate for the premiere of my new body. How rude… lucky for you, I've been aching to show this off for a long time. So… as thanks, I'll give you a handsome reward. I'll make your last living moments…" The lights went away. Mettaton EX (he was called that) was hanging there, looking all cheese balls and fab with his new body. "Absolutely beautiful!" There were these 'ratings' on the side. I looked around. Cameras and jazz. I felt… awesome-sauce. I smiled.

"Alrighty dite," I said, smiling like nuts. "Cheese balls stuff here, Mettaton EX. 'Bout time we had a REAL show." Remember back forevsies ago I talked 'bout 'serious dancing'? Well, this is the dancing! I posed. Mettaton posed too. The crowd thought that was cheese balls. The ratings went up!

"Drama! Romance! Bloodshed!" Mettaton yelled. He tried to kick me. I danced outta the way.

"Cheese balls stuff!" I yelled back. I did another pose. The crowd was going nuts. "Top that!"

"I'm the idol everyone craves!" Mettaton said. He threw some lil' Mettatons at me. I jumped outta their way.

"Cheese balls up to the roof," I said. "But you can't pull me down! My determination's right out there!" _Why're you saying this crap?_ A thought asked. _Not true!_ I ignored that thought and shot my yellow things at Mettaton's attacks.

"Ooh, it's time for a pop quiz!" Mettaton said. "I hope you brought your keyboard. This one's an essay question! _Why do you love Mettaton?_ "

"Uh…" I said. I typed, _he's got cheese balls legs lol._

"My legs! Yes! That's correct!" Mettaton cried. The ratings went up. I looked at the crowd. I booed at them. They wanted me to die. Cheese balls. "Your essay answer really showed everyone your heart," Mettaton said. _My heart isn't your legs!_ "Why don't I show you mine?" He pulled out this white heart. It made all this jazz show up. That jazz was ouchies. I was on 40 HP. I took a break and ate the junk food. I jumped up to 67 HP. The crowd thought that was cheese balls for some reason.

"Let's heat this jazz up!" I yelled. I did a pose and looked at the camera. "'Sup Underground? Shout out to all my pals watching at home!" The crowd looked cool beans with that.

"But how are you on the dance floor?" Mettaton asked. This disco ball showed up. I jumped outta the way of these lasers, shooting the disco ball. I looked awesome-sauce. I gotta say it. I don't say that jazz much.

"How's that?!" I yelled at the crowd. "Do you want more?!" There was alotta noise. "Oh…" I said, looking down. I looked up. "WELL THAT'S CHEESE BALLS BECAUSE I DO TOO!"

"That's fabulous, darling!" Mettaton cried. "Let's have some more... heart-to-heart!" His heart was back. I shot at it, jumping all over the place. The crowd was going nuts. Mettaton's arms fell off.

"HOOOOOOOLLLYYYY!" I yelled. "Mettaton… you cool beans?" _What'd I do?!_

"A… arms…" Mettaton said, tryna be cheese balls. "Wh… who needs arms… with legs like these? I'm still in to win!" He threw some bombs at me, then pulled 'em back up. I got a few ouchies.

"I won't die!" I yelled. "This is for you, my pals!" _Nah. This is for my facade. My lies._ I ate my Nice Cream. The crowd was all like, _whoa!_ "That's spot on the mark, dudes!"

"The show… must go on!" Mettaton cried, chucking bombs and jazz at me. I dodged those. I dodged alotta those. Mettaton looked at me. "Enough of this! Do you really want humanity to perish? ...or do you just believe in yourself that much?"

"Humanity'll live on!" I yelled. _Believe in myself? Ha ha…_ I almost laughed. Mettaton hit me some more. I was down to 35 HP.

"Haha, how inspiring," Mettaton said. "Well, darling, it's either me or you! But I think I already know who's going to win… Witness the true power of humanity's star!" He got out his heart again. It shot out all this jazz.

"Sounds cheese balls, but nah," I said. "Let's do this crap!" I shot yellow thingies at Mettaton's heart. He tried to kick me. I got a few ouchies. But I was cheese balls! I shot Mettaton some more. His legs fell off. "Holy crap… bacon balls... I…" I played the mercy game.

"...then… are YOU the star?" Mettaton asked. He was just his… upper body (with no arms), I think it's called. "Can you really protect humanity?"

"They're my peeps," I said. "'Course I can!" _No I can't. I can't do anything_. **Humans will get what they deserve**. Mettaton's heart shot stuff at me. I ran all over the place. "Mettaton, chill!" I yelled. He used his disco ball attack on me. I was now on 20 HP. It was kinda low. I ate a Cinnamon Bunny and posed at the crowd. The ratings were… OVER 9000! Sorry. They went up some more. When they were, like, 10000, Mettaton stopped hitting me.

"Ooh, look at these ratings!" Mettaton cried. "This is the most viewers I've ever had! We've reached the viewer call-in milestone! One lucky viewer will have the chance to talk to me… Before I leave the Underground forever! Let's see who calls in first!" Someone rung. "Hi, you're on TV! What do you have to say on this, our last show?"

"Oh…." the dude on the phone said. I felt like I'd heard 'em before. "Hi….. Mettaton… I really liked watching your show… My life is pretty boring… but… seeing you on the screen… brought excitement to my life… vicariously. I can't tell, but… I guess this is the last episode...? I'll miss you… Mettaton… oh…. I didn't mean to talk so long… oh…"

"No, wait!" Mettaton cried. "Wait! Bl… h… they already hung up." He looked kinda soppy. I felt soppy too. _Hey_ , I thought. _Was that-_ "I'll take another caller!"

"Mettaton, your show made us so happy!" someone on the phone said.

"Mettaton, I don't know what I'll watch without you!" some other dude said.

"Mettaton, there's a Mettaton-shaped hole in my Mettaton-shaped heart." another dude said.

"Mettaton, dude," I said. "The peeps down here… they love you. You can't go." _You gotta stay._

"Ah… I…" Mettaton said, looking down. "I see…. Everyone… thank you so much." He looked at me. "Darling. Perhaps… it might be better if I stay down here for a while. Humans already have stars and idols, but monsters… they only have me. If I left… the underground would lose its spark. I'd leave an aching void that can never be filled. So… I think I'll have to delay my big debut."

"Cheese balls," I said. "That's the way to flow." _Do it better than me._

"Besides," Mettaton went on. "You are… very strong, whether you attack or not. Maybe... you will be strong enough to get past Asgore after all. I'm sure you'll be able to protect humanity."

"Thanks, dude," I said. _What can I do?_ "You cool beans? You look kinda…"

"The truth is," Mettaton said, looking down. "This form's energy consumption is… inefficient. In a few moments, I'll run out of battery power, and… well. I'll be alright." He smiled. "Knock 'em dead, darling. And everyone, thank you… you've been a great audience!" I bowed at the crowd. The fight was done. Mettaton was off. I frowned.

"Oh Mettaton…" I said soppily, looking away. "It was… cheese balls to… to... do that with you." I sat near his head. Alphys came in.

"I… I managed to open the lock!" she said. "Are you two…" She saw Mettaton and ran up to him. "Oh my god. Mettaton! Mettaton, are you…"

"He's off," I said. "The batteries, I think."

"And thank GOD it's just the batteries," Alphys said, looking all _phew_. "Mettaton, if you were gone, I would have… I would have… I m-mean, h-hey, it's n-no problem, you know? He's just a robot, if you messed it up, I c-could always… j-just build another."

"He's gonna be cool beans, right?" I asked, getting up. "I… I mean, 'course he'll be cool beans! You can fix him!"

"Y-yeah…" Alphys _said._ She looked at the path. "Why don't you go on ahead?"

"Alrighty dite," I said. I walked a bit. _Just a lil' more_ , I thought. _So fluffing close_. I was in this joint that looked like the Core. _Just up there!_ **Finally.**

"S… Sorry about that," Alphys said, behind me. "L-let's k-keep going!" We walked a bit. I didn't really know what to talk 'bout, so I just walked. My hair was still hanging out in front of my face. _That show was pretty awesome-sauce_ , I thought. _I didn't know my acting skills were that cheese balls._ "S-so you're about to meet Asgore, h-huh?" Alphys asked. "You must be… y-you must be… pr… pretty excited about all that, huh?"

"Holy crap yeah!" I said. _No. No more fighting crap._ **But it will finally be time.** _For what?_ But they were gone. _Bacon balls_. We walked a bit.

"You'll f-f-finally… you'll finally get to go home!" Alphys said. She looked a bit _ehh_.

"Yeah," I said. "Home!" _I don't have a home_. _The humans don't give a fluff 'bout me. Nobody will be soppy if I'm gone._ I frowned. _But… the Surface. There's… some cheese balls jazz there. Like… like that ice-cream store and that kid there! I mean… it's the Surface. I gotta go back..._

"Here's the elevator," I said, looking at the elevator. I looked at Alphys. "Well… uh, see ya, I guess."

"W… Wait!" Alphys cried. She smiled. "I… I mean… I was just going to say goodbye, and…" She frowned and looked away. "I can't take this anymore." She looked soppy. "I… I lied to you. A human SOUL isn't strong enough to cross the barrier alone."

"What?" I asked. _Oh holy._

"It takes at least a human soul… and a monster soul," Alphys said. She looked at me. "If you want to go home… you'll have to take his soul."

"Who's soul?" I asked. _Holy bacon balls!_

"You'll have to kill Asgore," Alphys said. She looked away. "I'm sorry." She left.

"What." I said. "What. The. Bacon. Balls." _I've gotta kill Asgore? But… I don't wanna hurt peeps!_ I was too weak. And I don't mean the 99 EXP thing. I mean… feeling weak. Self-love weak. The weak that Mettaton was chatting about. I sighed. _I don't wanna kill anyone, but… if I don't… kill Asgore… I'll never go home._ I looked away. _But I've got nothing on the Surface… it's not… really, like, gonna… help anything going there, is it?_

 **He won't take your SOUL** , the creepy voice said. **I WILL.**

"Who are you?!" I asked. **Why ask? Shouldn't you know?** "Uh… no." They were gone. "Whatever." I looked at the elevator. "Sorry, Undyne. Looks like I may be hurting Asgore." I went in.


	12. I show the Monster King some mercy

**~Chapter 11: I show the Monster King some mercy~**

Killing peeps is stupid. Nah. It's bacon balls. Even with my high EXP I still didn't wanna hurt anyone. The scary voice didn't either. They told me they wanted the monsters for 'something else'. 'Something else' didn't sound cheese balls.

The elevator took me to Asgore's joint. It was like a grey… er… what's the word, _version_ of the Ruins. I did my determination and came to this big view of a city. I went past all these buildings and jazz. I came to this house that looked like a grey version of Mom's house.

"Mom…" I said. I felt soppy. And I still hadn't eaten her pie. I wanted to call Mom, but Ebay Money had taken her phone. That's what she told me, anyway. Whatever. I went into the house. It looked like Mom's house. I thought 'bout the Bakers. I missed those dudes. They got me into some crazy jazz. And the Fennixes. I missed Maya Fennix. She was all, _OMG, GIRLFRIEND!_ But she was cheese balls and an awesome-sauce big sis. I missed that woman who took me in ages ago. She was like a mom and a BFF. And there's the Di Casturoes, some of my fave brothers. Holy... I still feel soppy when thinking 'bout them. _Why'd you have to run off on me?! What'd I do?! I thought we were... oh, whatever. I'm cool beans. I always am! Always..._

My real parents. Times with 'em are fuzzy. I know I was rich and jazz. But… it felt like something was... missing. The scary voice was being kinda _uhh_ when I thought 'bout my real parents. Whatever. All this thinking 'bout my human fams was making me soppy. So I sussed out the house. There were some golden flowers, like Flowey. But they weren't alive, thank cheese balls.

Froggit showed up. But it wasn't tryna kill me. It was telling a story.

"Not too long ago, a human fell into the Ruins," Froggit said. "It was saved from an evil flower by TORIEL."

"Like me?" I asked. I went into the kitchen. There was this green key. I put it on my phone's keychain. Yeah, my phone was cheese balls. I went back to the room with a big chair- the one Mom would sit on.

"TORIEL taught the human the ways of the underground," this Whimsun said. "She offered it a home. However, it refused to stay. It left."

"Are they talking 'bout me?" I asked. **You'll see** , the scary voice said. I sussed out some more of the house. I found this kid's bedroom. In there were two gifts. _Awesome sauce_ , I thought. _Gifts are cheese balls!_ I looked at one gift. In there was this… what's it called… a heart-shaped locket or something. It said _Best Friends Forever_.

It had, like, 15 DF (defense). _Holy_ , I thought. _I totes need to give this to my BFF. Uh… who's my BFF?_ I had too much stuff in my bag, so I sorted that out. I put the locket there with a note: _For my BFF. Hey, I dunno who you are right now, but you're awesome-sauce! I don't deserve such a cheese balls pal. Keep being cheese balls. And if you need someone to back you up, I'm here! Lots of friendship and love, T.D.C xox._

"The human met and befriended two skeleton sentries in Snowdin," Moldsmal said. "After going on a 'date' with one of them, they continued to Waterfall." ... _Sans and Papyrus? What's going on?_ I found another key and took it. Then I got a scary daydream. I saw scary me talking to that kid with the green-striped sweater. Something looked kinda… _ehh_ 'bout me. Like… something 'bout me was _not_ me.

" **It's almost time, my BFF**." 'I' said. The daydream was over. _Who's my BFF?!_ I thought. _Am I gonna do something with 'em?_ I went into this bedroom. It was Asgore's room. I didn't really feel like snooping, so I left. I saw this mirror. **Despite everything… it's still us** , the scary voice said.

 _Us?_ I thought. But they were gone. _Whatever!_ I went down to the basement. I thought 'bout Mom again. I missed her, too. _She was so… cheese balls. To me. Of all peeps..._ I thought. Some Migosps showed up.

"The human was chased by the leader of the Royal Guard throughout Waterfall," Misgosp said. "They ended up befriending her, too." _Undyne...?_

"In Hotland, they met and befriended the Royal Scientist who assisted them on their journey," a Vegetoid said. "A famous robot also tormented them." I was confused and jazz. _It's my story!_

"The human discovered the Royal Scientist had enlisted the robot to torment them," a Loox said. "Then they fought and befriended the robot."

"The human reached ASGORE'S castle," Snowdrake said. "They heard the story of the first human."

"They fought ASGORE," Icecap said. "However, the evil flower killed him and absorbed the human SOULS. Then, the human fought the flower."

Woshua said, "The human defeated the flower, and with their DETERMINATION, changed the ending. ASGORE was alive."

Shyren went on, "After learning more about the Royal Scientist, the human faced ASGORE again. The monsters they had met on their journey stopped them from fighting." _This is nuts!_ I thought.

The dummy said, "The flower absorbed the human SOULS again, then every MONSTER SOUL. He turned into..."

"ASRIEL DREEMURR," Knight Knight said.

"The king's son, who had died long ago." Madjick said.

"The human, with their determination, defeated ASRIEL DREEMURR." Knight Knight went on.

"Together, they freed monsterkind." Madjick said.

"The monsters returned to the surface," Final Froggit said. "However... the human was not satisfied with this ending. With their determination, they reset - everyone was brought back underground." _Determination's strong! And what is this story?!_

"On their second journey, the human tried something different," Whimsalot said. "They were still not happy with their ending. They reset again." _Who is this?!_

"The human continued resetting," Astigmatism said. "Until one day... they resorted to genocide."

"They killed everyone, mercilessly," Loox said. "But even then they weren't happy."

"The first human approached them and gave them one last chance." Pyrope said.

"A plan that could give them their perfect ending." Vulkin said.

"Total power..." I said. "What does that mean?"

"This plan... involved letting their human best friend with an interesting power take their SOUL... and destroy the world." Froggit told me. _"_ Their plan is in action. Finally, they will get the ending they have longed for. Isn't that exciting?" _I... I don't know._ I looked in my bag. I found the family jazz: a photo with the Di Casturoes (I'm totally not crying), some heart bracelet thing from Maya Fennix (I put it on just then), a sticky note pad from the Bakers with some cheesy drawings, a mood ring from that lady, and the jazz from my real parents. I put the cloak on, too.

 _Oh bacon balls_ , I thought. _Fluffing human fams_. I looked pretty cheese balls with that cloak and bracelet. And the apron. _If I die… I'll die wearing these_ , I thought. I went into this big hall. It was pretty. I stopped being cheesy and saved my SAVE file. I walked a bit and an old pal was there.

"Sans!" I said. It was kinda dark. Things didn't look cheese balls. "Uh… hey. 'Sup?"

"So you finally made it," Sans said. He sounded kinda… not-Sans. "The end of your journey is at hand. In a few moments, you will meet the king. Together… you will determine the fate of this world." _That's not scary at all_ , I thought. "That's then. Now. You will be judged. You will be judged for your every action. You will be judged for your every EXP you've earned. What's EXP? It's an acronym. It stands for 'execution points'. A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases."

 _Oh bacon balls_ , I thought. _My EXP is fluffing high! I never hit anyone, but it's, like…_ I frowned.

"When you have enough EXP, your LOVE increases," Sans went on. "LOVE, too, is an acronym. It stands for 'Level of Violence'. A way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others." He went back to himself. I looked away.

"Alrighty dite, I have high EXP and LOVE and jazz," I said. I felt soppy. I sounded soppy. "I'm… sorry. I'm really sorry. I… swear on my soul that I… didn't kill… didn't hurt…" _Why do I have high LOVE and EXP?_ I thought. _And… Sans said it 'becomes easier to distance yourself'. I tried to do that… it went bacon balls. I don't even wanna hurt anyone. So…_

"you," Sans said. "you're an interesting case. you have the LOVE and EXP of someone who killed many people. but… you never killed or hurt anyone. you never even got the desire… did ya, kid?" I was all like, _holy crap yeah!_ "you've had this LOVE and EXP hovering around you this whole journey. if you really wanted to… you could've killed everyone. you're one strong human. but… even with that, you resisted and did the right thing. you didn't distance yourself. you made friends. you didn't gain anymore LOVE. instead, you gained love. does that make sense?"

"Yeah. Go on." I said, almost smiling. **It's not your LOVE. It's… mine.** The voice sounded soppy. _Who are you?!_ Gone.

"seems like they were testing you," Sans said. "see if you'd use their strength. but you never did. maybe it's because you have more love in your heart than LOVE." He looked away, then looked back. Now I was cheese balls 'bout ignoring my head. _Am I a heart peep?_ I thought. _Holy…_ "now. you're about to face the greatest challenge of your entire journey. your actions here… will determine the fate of the entire world. if you refuse to fight…"

 _Mercy game, mercy game!_ I thought.

"asgore will take your soul and destroy humanity," Sans said. _Bacon balls!_ I thought. "but if you kill Asgore and go home… monsters will remain trapped underground." _Holy bacon balls in bacon sauce!_ I thought. "what will you do?" Pause. **You will join me** , the voice said. **You'll get the perfect ending. Everyone will be happy**. "well, if i were you, i would have thrown in the towel by now. but you didn't get this far by giving up, did you? that's right. you have something called 'determination'."

I gasped. _Determination? You mean… that jazz that's, like, been helping me and stuff?_

"so as long as you hold on…" Sans went on. "so as long as you do what's in your heart… i believe you can do the right thing."

"Thanks, dude." I said. _What a joke_ , I thought. _I can't do jazz. We're all gonna die… 'cause of me._

"alright," Sans said. "we're all counting on you, kid. good luck." He was gone. I didn't move for a few secs. _What the holy bacon granny smith balls,_ I thought. _I… oh holy crap. I've got a big… like… choice to make_. **Join me** , scary voice said. **That's why you're here. That's why I brought you here.** _What're you gonna do?_ I thought. **I'll make a better world. I just need the souls…** I wasn't gonna flow with this voice. They were scary. _Well… what do you wanna do?_ This other voice asked. _Give up, give in, or give out?_

 _I dunno_ , I thought. _Let's go hook up Asgore_. I left the hall. I found this brick joint. It said _Throne Room._ I did my determination. Then I saw this other joint going off somewhere else. I went in there. I found all these coffins with human souls on 'em. _Bacon balls!_ I thought. _That's scary._ There was this coffin with a red heart. Like my soul. It was for some dude named Chara. _Chara..._? I thought. **The first human**. _Oh, thanks, dude._

I went to the Throne Room. It was kinda dark. There were alotta golden flowers and a throne. And a big, royal-looking monster. He looked sorta like Mom... with a beard. He was hanging out near the throne.

"'Sup?" I said. _Oh holy…_

"Oh, is someone there?" the monster asked. "Just a moment! I have almost finished watering these flowers." A bit later... "Here we are!" He turned and looked at me. "Howdy! How can I…" He saw I was a human and was all like, _bacon balls, it's the human!_ "Oh." He looked away. And looked back.

"'Sup?" I said. "You're Asgore, right? Everyone's been sayin' cheese balls stuff 'bout you." I looked away. "So… we kinda have to fight and jazz, right?"

"You know how it is," Asgore said soppily. He walked a bit. "Nice day today, huh? Birds are singing, flowers are blooming… Perfect weather for a game of catch."

"Uh… yeah." I said. "Cheese balls day..."

Asgore frowned. "You know what we must do. When you are ready, come into the next room." He walked off. _I dunno 'bout this_ , I thought. I played with my cloak and sussed out my bracelet. _But I gotta stay determined._ I went into the next room. It was grey and jazz… like the joint I fell into when I first came.

"How tense," Asgore said. "Just think of it like… a visit to the dentist." _A visit to the dentist is kinda scary, dude_ , I thought. I went after Asgore. I came to this big gate… like the gate I saw when I fell down. "Are you ready?" Asgore asked. "If you are not, I understand. I am not ready either." He went into the gate.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm ready." _Anything but that_ , I thought. I did my determination. Then I went into the gate. I came into this big, fancy room that was all grey. It was shiny and looked like a tunnel. It was awesome-sauce! And kinda scary. Asgore was hanging out in front of me, not looking at me.

"This is the barrier," Asgore said. "This is what keeps us all trapped underground." _Holy_ , I thought. "If." Asgore paused. "If by chance you have any unfinished business… please do what you must." I frowned. _Anything I need to do?_ I sussed my inventory: enough jazz was in there. _Am I gonna die?_ I thought. _Maybe I should see how my pals are doing._ I frowned. _Nah… I won't be able to leave if I see 'em. I… don't... fluff 'bout that jazz anyway… not a big deal… not a big deal, they won't miss me anyway. Yeah. I've gotta go._

"Let's do this." I said. _Oh bacon balls…_

"I see…" Asgore said. "This is it, then." He turned around. "Ready?" These jars came outta the ground. There were some human souls in them: green, yellow, orange, purple, dark blue and light blue. The colours my soul had been. Scary. Then I was pulled into battle with Asgore.

 **A strange light fills the room** , the scary voice said. **Twilight is shining through the barrier.** _Home!_ I thought. **It seems your journey is finally over. You're filled with DETERMINATION**. They paused. **Now, do the job. Remove him… and the souls will finally be mine. I'll make it easy**. But I didn't wanna 'remove him'. I don't do killing. That's bacon balls.

"Human…" Asgore said. "It was nice to meet you. Goodbye." He pulled out this thingo called a trident (I googled it). Way bigger than my stick. Then Asgore killed my mercy with his trident thingo. So… I couldn't spare him.

"Holy bacon balls!" I shouted. _What've you done?! I… I… holy, no, I'm not fighting! I can try some other jazz!_ **Just do the job** , the scary voice said. Asgore looked pretty scary, holding that trident and looking all _come at me!_ I sighed. "Asgore…" I said quietly. "Dude… I don't wanna fight." He looked a little _ehh_ , but threw his jazz at me. All those fireballs… like Mom's attack. _Mom!_ I thought. _Wait a sec! Mom… I have the pie, right? I won't eat it yet… maybe in a bit._

"Hey," I said, louder. "I don't wanna fight, Asgore." Asgore's breathing got a bit whoopie-doo for a bit. He went at me. Fire balls came from all over the joint. I got hit. Ouchies. I was down to 69 HP. And I wasn't gonna stop the mercy game. I sounded angry. "Asgore, stop fighting!" His attack and defense went down. He threw all these fireballs. I tried talking again.

 **Seems talking won't do anymore good** , the scary voice said. **Just do the job. Fight.**

 _No way!_ I thought. _No fighting!_ I tried to talk again, and again, and again… but nothing. **The job** , the creepy voice said. _I…_ I thought. _I.._. I held up my stick, my cloak flying in the wind and stuff. _No more talking_ , I thought. _No more checking. No more fleeing. No more eating. No more fake-attacks. No more hiding._

 _No more mercy._ I paused. _It's time to fight._

I frowned. _Humans… you bacon balls peeps… I'm… doing this for you._ 'Cause I was on, like, 1 HP (yep, I tried _that_ much), I ate the Butterscotch-Cinnamon pie. It was so cheese balls… and made me and Asgore soppy. I thought 'bout Mom. I think Asgore did too. _Sorry… everyone_ , I thought. I held up my stick. **Do it**. The scary voice said. So I did it, looking away. I knocked Asgore's HP down really low. So low he couldn't fight. He fell on the ground.

"Oh holy bacon crappy cheese balls…!" I said. "Asgore! Are you…" **If you weren't resisting so much, he'd be dead** , the scary voice said. **Why resist? You're delaying the bright future**. _I don't give a fluff_ , I thought. _I'm not a killer, Angel or not. But… it's scary I can do that much fluffing damage. The monsters should be cheese balls that I didn't hit 'em._

"Ah…" Asgore said. "So that is how it is." He paused. "I remember the day after my son died. The entire Underground was devoid of hope. The future had once again been taken from us by the humans. In a fit of anger, I declared war. I said that I would destroy any human that came here. I would use their souls to become godlike… and free us from this terrible prison. Then, I would destroy humanity… and let monsters rule the Surface, in peace."

 _My peeps have done alotta bacon balls things_ , I thought. _But they don't deserve to die. They just need help._

"Soon, the people's hopes returned," Asgore went on. "My wife, however, became disgusted with my actions. She left this place, never to be seen again. Truthfully…" He frowned. "I do not want power. I do not want to hurt anyone. I just wanted everyone to have hope…" _So that's why monsters are like that, huh?_ I thought. "But… I cannot take this any longer. I just want to see my wife. I just want to see my child."

"Holy…" I said. _All this?_ I thought. _About that Asriel dude?_ _Holy, I feel… soppy._

"Please… young one…" Asgore said. "This war has gone on long enough. You have the power… take my soul, and leave this cursed place." My mercy was back. And so was fighting. _Oh bacon balls_ , I thought. I could take Asgore's soul and go back to the Surface. I'd go back to soppy feelings… looking for a place I could go to, but get dumped… again and again until I… killed… um... didn't wanna be alive anymore. I'm the one dude I don't mind hurting, just saying.

Or I could hang out in the Underground. I'd made pals. I had the jazz I needed. Maybe… maybe I could be cheese balls. But… my heart was saying, _nah, dude, that's not whatcha want either_. _You wanna free all the peeps down here… you want everyone to get what they want._ _That's whatcha want_. It was spot on the mark. I smiled and spared Asgore.

"... After everything I have done to hurt you…" Asgore said. "You would rather stay down here and suffer… than live happily on the Surface?"

"Sorta," I said. I smiled. "I mean… I'll be staying down here… but you monsters…" I held out my soul. "I haven't met more cheese balls peeps in my life. I've made too many pals here… you may've attacked me, but… when I spared you, played the mercy game, you showed me what you're really like. You monsters hate it down here. It's bacon balls, alrighty dite. You don't deserve to be here. I…" I frowned. "I can't give you a more cheese balls gift than your freedom. So… take my soul… free yourselves…" **No!** The scary voice said. I was smiling.

"Human…" Asgore gasped. "I… can't believe you would be so… generous. To give up your soul… are you sure you do not wish to return to the Surface?" I was all like, _holy crap no!_ "Very well, human. I will-" All these bullets came outta the blue. They… um… killed Asgore. And his soul- this upside-down, white heart thing. He turned into dust.

"Asgore!" I cried. "Who…" Flowey showed up. "Flowey! You… you..."

"You IDIOT," Flowey said. "You haven't learned a thing." The human souls showed up. _No!_ I thought. **Don't worry, we'll get them back** , the scary voice said. "In this world… it's kill or BE killed!" He hooked up with the souls. Then there was alotta darkness. I didn't know what the fluff was going on. Then there was… a story?

 _A long time ago_ , this pic said. _Two races ruled over the Earth: Humans and Monsters._ Things got scary. _One day, they all disappeared without a trace._ The picture went away. I was in a black room. I found a SAVE file. _Cheese balls_ , I thought. The file said, _File erased_. Then the file was killed. _Not cheese balls!_ I thought. Flowey showed up.

"Howdy!" he said. "It's me, Flowey. Flowey the Flower! I owe you a HUGE thanks. You really did a number on that old fool. Without you, I NEVER could have gotten past him." I frowned. Flowey's face became Asgore's. "But now, with YOUR help…" It looked all scary. "He's DEAD… And I'VE got the human SOULS!"

 _Cheese balls_ , I thought. _That's just cheese balls_. My self-love went down the drain. _I tried not to hurt anyone, but I hurt EVERYONE. Cheese balls. Look at what I am._

"Boy!" Flowey cried. "I've been empty for so long… It feels great to have a SOUL inside me again!" He smiled. "Mmm, I can feel them wriggling..." _Bleh_ , I thought. "Aww, you're feeling left out, aren't you? BOTH of you!" _Both?_ I thought. "Well, that's just perfect. After all, I only have six souls. Seven would be great, but EIGHT will make me unstoppable! I'll rule the ENTIRE world! Especially since I'll have TWO souls of determination!"

"Uh… what?" I asked. _Two souls?!_

"Haven't you learnt yet?" Flowey asked. "You're not the real 'hero' of this world! They are! Or so they say. There is no hero of this world! With my newfound powers…" He had Mom's face. "Monsters." That kid that looked like me… he had their face. "Humans." Some nuts face. "Everyone." And a scary smile. "I'll show them all the REAL meaning of this world."

The scary voice said, **He's the idiot. MY plan will change this world entirely. And you'll be right by my side, T. I'll help you defeat him… then the souls will come to me.** I didn't like that plan or Flowey's. They sounded bacon balls.

"Oh, and forget about escaping to your- or their- old SAVE FILE," Flowey went on. "It's gone FOREVER. But don't worry. Your old friend Flowey… has worked out a replacement for them!" His face got scary. "I'll SAVE over your own death. So you can watch me tear you to bloody pieces… over, and over, and over…"

I felt bacon balls. I felt that a lot. **Let me do it** , the scary voice said. **It's MY turn. We share the same body, after all. And I know this world better than you**. I was all over the joint, so I let them… do their jazz. They… uh, sorta took… what's the world, _control_ of my body. It was freaky. It was like I was watching a movie… in… uh… first person P.O.V. Thanks Google.

" **Stop this, Flowey** ," the scary voice said. " **You can't stop my plan.** "

"So you finally show up!" Flowey laughed. "You and this plan. You think you're SO clever, using your best friend and their power. You think you can fix EVERYTHING. You think you can achieve full power and rule this world! Hee hee hee… You really ARE an idiot." I was all like, _whaa?_ My soul came out… and Flowey came down, looking scary. Really scary. He looked like… the internet. 'Cause the internet's scary. He had a TV for a face, these crazy arms, and eyes and ears and noses and jazz.

 _Oh bacon balls_ , I thought. _This is gonna get nuts._


	13. It's kill or BE killed!

**~Chapter 12: It's kill or BE killed!~**

I was freaking out for alotta… uh… reasons: there was some scary dude controlling my body, Flowey was this thing outta my nightmares, and I was… what's the word… confused. Thanks, Google. Bacon balls. But holy, that scary voice was nuts. They ran all over the joint, missing Flowey's attacks. They got a bit hurt, but they were cheese balls. They missed like they'd done it a gazillion times.

After some more of Flowey's attacks, it was just this TV. The light-blue soul was there. And so were all these knives. The scary voice went up to the ACT choice. **We called for help…** they said. The knives turned into healing thingos. And the soul turned orange. The scary voice got all the healing thingos. Then Flowey was back. He threw all these nuts attacks at my body/the scary voice. They missed them and did 4 damage to Flowey. He was pretty strong.

TV time! The orange soul was on the TV. There were all these… hands…? Um, the scary voice called for help. The hands went all cheese balls and heal-y. The soul went dark blue. And Flowey was back! He threw all his nuts attacks. The scary voice missed 'em and hurt Flowey a lil' more. TV time… again. There were all these ballet shoes and jazz. Next batter up: purple soul! And more Flowey. This scary voice was cheese balls at this fighting jazz.

Purple soul on the TV. There were books and words. The words weren't cheese balls. Then the scary voice called for help. Green soul, cheese balls words! And… Flowey was back. Y'know what jazz went on there. Green soul on the TV, cooking-based attacks. These frypans were, like, throwing oil at me. Then they became green eggs… like that book, _Green Eggs and Ham._ Ever read it? It's by Dr. Seuss. It's about- wait, I'm meant to be writing 'bout the Flowey battle. Bacon balls.

Anyway, Flowey again. The scary voice did about 23 damage. Flowey threw more jazz at them. Yellow soul. This one had a gun that shot stuff. Ouchies stuff. Then… healing jazz! They shot clovers. Then, on that TV screen, the six souls hung out. The scary voice said, **Finally, it's time.** The souls came over to me and flew around _. My peeps!_ I thought. _Heya, dudes!_ They gave me lots of healing jazz. And Flowey's defense went to zero.

 **Once he's gone, they'll be mine** , the scary voice said. They hit Flowey a gazillion times. The humans gave them healing jazz. I was on the side, all like, _HUMAN TEAM GO! HUMAN TEAM GO!_ I, er, helped the scary voice a bit. Together we were doing, like, 900 damage. Flowey was knocked down.

"No… NO!" he cried. "This CAN'T be happening! You… You…!" He reloaded the bacon balls SAVE file with a bacon balls smile. "You IDIOT." He killed the scary voice a gazillion times, thanks to that bacon balls SAVE file. And then he put the scary voice - and me - in this joint. Bullets were everywhere. "Hee hee hee." he said. "Did you REALLY think… You could defeat ME?!" Flowey's real face showed up on the TV. "I am the GOD of this world. And YOU? You're hopeless. Hopeless and alone…"

 _How'd you know?_ I thought.

"Golly, that's right!" Flowey said. He had Mom's face. "Your WORTHLESS friends…" Scary face. "Can't save you now. Call for help. I dare you. Cry into the darkness! 'Mommy!' 'Daddy!' 'Somebody help!' See what good it does you!" The scary voice was 'bout to do something, but I…

 **What are you doing?** they asked. **Why are you resisting help?!**

"I don't need help!" I yelled. "I've got this!" _Anything but that_ , I thought. **No one will come. It seems you already know,** the scary voice said. **But you can't do this alone.**

"That's right!" Flowey said. "You think you're alright, don't you? You think you'll survive. Boy! What a shame. You clearly don't get it! You never have, have you? Hee hee hee. Now DIE!" The scary voice was back in control. And my HP was full.

" **Flowey** ," the scary voice said. " **Don't you remember last time? Or the other times? The souls aren't going to work with you. But… I see what you did. You're trying to delay my plans, aren't you? Taking the souls yourself. Well, I hate to say it… but you FAILED**." Then something scary went on. And very… um… hurtful. I felt like something was tryna pull away from me. My soul felt like it was… breaking. Some jazz was being taken away from me. I fell down.

There was another red soul. Something 'bout it… looked so… what's the word, _familiar_. It looked like my soul, too.

"Wh… what's going on?!" Flowey asked. "What is this?!" The other human souls showed up. "The souls…?" The red soul was hanging in the middle. The other souls went around it. _Holy crap, what's going on?!_ I thought. Then… the souls did something nuts. "What are they doing…?" _I've gotta ask the same thing_ , _Flowey_ , I thought. The souls… um… mixed together? They became this rainbow soul thingo. Flowey went rainbow and nuts, and not in a cheese balls way.

"Holy…" I said. I was hanging out in the back.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO OBEY ME!" Flowey yelled. "STOP!" Then there was alotta light. And darkness. Peeps were all gone.

"Uh… 'sup? Anyone?" I asked. Then I saw Flowey. He looked pretty bacon balls. And weak. _You can kill him now_ , a thought said. _He won't be bacon balls anymore. Look at what he did to hurt you and everyone else. Kill him_. Flowey was pretty bacon balls. And I didn't like him. But… I couldn't do it. My heart was saying, _dude, no. Even he deserves mercy_. So I played the mercy game.

"What are you doing?" Flowey asked. "Do you really think I've learned anything from this? No." I played the mercy game again. "Sparing me won't change anything. Killing me is the only way to end this." _Nah it's not!_ I thought. I spared him again. He smiled at me, looking all bacon balls. "If you let me live…" He got up. "I'll come back…" Mercy game. "I'll kill you." Mercy game. "I'll kill everyone." Mercy game. His face got scary. "I'll kill everyone you love." Mercy game! "... why?" Y'know. "... why are you being… so nice to me?" He frowned. "I can't understand." Mercy. "I can't understand!" Ice-cream is cheese balls. "I just can't understand…" Then… someone killed him. Like, in one hit. I didn't see who.

"What the holy?!" I yelled. "Who…" But nobody was there. "What…?" There was a 'normal' flower in front of me. A normal golden flower. _Oh bacon balls… oh holy…_ I saw this gate. The gate I'd seen a gazillion times. I went into it. There was alotta light. And, because it's me, I passed out.

* * *

I woke up near that gate near the barrier. I still had all my jazz. I was wearing my cloak, that bracelet, that apron. Something felt… I dunno, weird. Like… something was missing from me. Something had been taken from me. I didn't know what. I sussed myself out. _HOLY CRAP!_ I thought. _My LOVE and EXP… it's gone!_ That's right, dudes. My LOVE and EXP weren't there anymore. My HP was now, like, 20. My attack too. I wasn't so strong anymore. I was kinda weak

 _The holy…?_ I thought. _How'd that…_ My soul looked kinda weird, too. Like… it wasn't glowing so… brightly. _What…_ I looked in my bag… for anything. I saw my phone. It said, _You have one missed call._ I frowned. _Missed call?_ I thought. I went to suss it out. _You have one new voice message_ , my phone said. _Please dial…_ can't remember the number. I called that number.

"heya," Sans' voice said. _Sans! Holy crap!_ I thought. "is anyone there…? well, i'll just leave a message…" Pause. "so… it's been a while. the queen returned, and is now ruling over the underground. she's enstated a new policy… all the humans who fall down here will be treated not as enemies… but as friends. it's probably for the best, anyway. the human souls the king gathered… seem to have disappeared. so, uh, that plan ain't happening anytime soon."

"Bacon balls, dude," I said. "Wait… you're on the phone. You can't hear me."

"but even though people are heartbroken over the king…" Sans went on. "... and things are looking grim for our freedom… the queen's trying her best not to let us give up hope. so, uh, hey… if we're not giving up down here… don't give up wherever you are, okay?"

 _Well, I'm sorta down here with you_ , I thought. _So…_

"who knows how long it will take…" Sans said. "but we will get out of here."

"SANS!" Papyrus was there. "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?"

"oh, nobody." Sans said.

"WHAT?!" Papyrus asked. "NOBODY?!" He sounded cheese balls. "CAN I TALK TO THEM TOO?"

"here, knock yourself out." Sans said. Pause.

"WAIT A SECOND…" Papyrus said. "I RECOGNIZE THIS NUMBER! ATTENTION, HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… AM NOW CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

"Cheese balls!" I said. I frowned. _They can't hear you, dumbo. Wait, what about Undyne?_

"IT'S EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DREAMED OF…" Papyrus went on. "EXCEPT, INSTEAD OF FIGHTING, WE JUST WATER FLOWERS. SO THAT'S EVER SO SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT." Pause. "AND, WE'RE HELPING DR. ALPHYS WITH HER RESEARCH! SHE'S GONNA FIND A WAY TO GET US OUT OF HERE! UNDYNE IS HELPING HER TOO!" _Holy_ , I thought. "THOUGH, TO BE HONEST, HER METHOD OF HELPING… SEEMS KIND OF… EXPLOSION-INDUCING."

 _Holy crap Undyne_ , I thought. _That's something I wanna see._

"BUT I THINK ALPHYS LIKES HAVING HER AROUND." Papyrus said. He sounded a little _ehh_. "UH OH!"

"Hey!" Undyne said, showing up. "What are you up to, punk!" _Just jazz_ , I thought. "Ngahhhh!"

"PLEASE DON'T NOOGIE THE PHONE!" Papyrus cried. I laughed.

"Hey! Who's in charge here?!" Undyne asked.

"ME." Papyrus said.

"Oh…" Undyne said. Pause. "Yeah, that's right! I quit my job as leader of the Royal Guard. Actually, since we won't be fighting anymore… The Royal Guard totally disbanded. There's, uh, only one member now."

"BUT HE'S EXTREMELY GOOD." Papyrus said.

"Yeah! He is!" Undyne said, all cheese balls. "C'mere!"

"PLEASE DON'T NOOGIE THE SKELETON!" Papyrus cried. I laughed some more. It was cheese balls to hear my pals again.

"Anyways," Undyne went on. "Now I'm working as Alphy's lab assistant." _Alphy_ , I thought. I frowned. _Bacon balls! I hate short nicknames_. "We're gonna find a way out of this dump once and for all! Oh, yeah, and I'm a gym teacher at the queen's new school. Did you know I can bench-press seven children?! Awesome, right?"

 _Uh, totes_ , I thought.

Undyne paused. "Hey." she said. "I'm sorry about what happened with Asgore."

 _You're sorry?_ I thought. _I… uh… almost killed him and jazz! I'm the soppy one._

"You were just doing what you had to," Undyne said. "It's not your fault he…" _Yeah it is_ , I thought. "Ah, darn it. I miss the big guy." Pause. "Come on, Undyne! Snap out of it! Uh, I guess I'll tell you how Alphys is doing." _Goss_ , I thought. I frowned. _Bacon balls! I hate goss_. "Well, she's the same as ever. Maybe a little more reclusive than normal. Seems like something's really bothering her… But she can get through it! I'm there supporting her! That's what friends are for, right?"

 _Spot on the mark_ , I thought.

Pause. "Hey, where-ever you are…" Undyne said. "I hope it's better than here." _Nah_ , I thought. _I am here_. "It took a lot of sacrifice for you to get there… So, where-ever you are… you have to try to be happy, okay?!"

 _I'm never cheese balls anywhere_ , I thought. _I always do something bacon balls. Always._

"For our sakes!" Undyne said. "We'll feel better knowing our trouble was worth it. We're all with you! Everyone is! Even the queen!" _It wasn't worth it_ , I thought. _I'm not worth it._ I sung _, Don't give it to me I'm not worth it._ "HEEYY! WAIT a second! TORIEL! TORIEL! Do you wanna…" Pause. _Mom?_ I thought. _Mom's the queen?_ "Heh, she says she's busy."

"BUT IF SHE KNEW WHO WE WERE TALKING TO…" Papyrus said.

"we wouldn't get the phone back for at least a few hours." Sans said.

"WE HAVE THE MERCY TO SPARE YOU FROM HER!" Papyrus said. _Mercy game forevsies!_

"But call back anytime, ok?! She'd love to talk!" Undyne said.

"oh, whoops," Sans said. "this thing's almost outta batteries. so, hate to cut this short, but… be seeing you, ok, buddy?"

"BYE BYE FOR NOW!" Papyrus said.

"See ya, punk!" Undyne said. _I was all like, no, bacon balls, wait!_ But the message was done.

My phone said, " _To repeat this message, press-_ " But I shut it off. I frowned. _Oh holy_ , I thought. _Holy moley fluffing bacon cheese balls cannelloni_. There was a SAVE thingo near me. So I saved. I got this message: **Time's running out. Stay determined. File saved!** _Time's running out?_ I thought. _That's… just cheese balls._ I looked around. _Uh… what'd I do now? Party? Eat? Sleep? See my pals?_ I looked at my phone. _The UnderNet? Maybe later._

I left that joint and came to the throne room. I went past that, that hall where I talked to Sans, the city with all those buildings, and finally, the elevator. The elevator took me back to the Core. I went past the joint where I fought Mettaton. I came to the outside of that. I saved there.

 **Keep going** , the SAVE file said. **File saved!** I used the other elevator to get back to the start of the Core. _Holy crap,_ I thought. I felt kinda weird. _What happened again? Feels… fuzzy. Like… didn't I fight some dude…? Asgore? And then… Flowey?_ I sussed myself out again. _Why does it feel like something's not there?_

I was near the MTT resort when someone rung me. It was Undyne.

"Hey…! Uh, this is Undyne..." she said. She sounded a little angry. "(Shut up, Papyrus! This was your idea!)"

"'Sup?" I said. _How long was I gone for? Did ya know I was gone?_

"HUMAN!" Undyne yelled. "You have to deliver something for me! Uh, please?"

"Sure, cool beans. See you in a few." I said. _I don't get it… how do you know I'm here? What went on while I was gone?_

"Awesome!" Undyne said. "See ya, punk!" She hung up. _I don't get it_ , I thought. _I don't get it_. Then I was all like, _wait a sec! The scary voice… where's that gone? It's not the voice chatting me up at SAVE points. And… it's just gone. I can tell._ I paused. _Determination… oh, holy! I've lost some of that, too! What the bacon balls? What happened? And… I don't feel sleepy. But I don't feel super strong. What… fluffing bacon balls what…_

I got back to Hotland. I'll skip the trip. I got to Alphys' lab and saved. **Be prepared** , the SAVE point said. **File saved!** _What the fluff…_ I thought. Then, for a sec, I saw someone who looked just like me. A human. But they had a… uh, different hairstyle. And I could see their eyes. They felt pretty powerful. They smiled. Then they were gone. _I don't… get…_

 _Uh… the Undernet!_ I thought. I posted, _sup peeps I'm back and jazz. Going to snowdin 'cause my pal wants to gimme something. Holy hope I don't get a cold I've been there tons XD_. I went down to the River Dude.

"'Sup, dude?" I said. "I'll have a ride to Snowdin." I went on their boat.

"Then we're off…" the River Dude said. We went to Snowdin. I looked at the water _. I… don't… get…_ We got to Snowdin. It was cold. "Come again sometime. Tra la la." the River Dude said, leaving. I went into Snowdin town. I got some Cinnamon Buns from the shop. Then I saved. The SAVE point said, **Don't give up** **. File saved!** Cheese balls to know the SAVE point was rooting for me. Then I went to the skele-bros' joint. Undyne and Papyrus were hanging out the front.

"'Sup, dudes?" I said.

"Hey, I have something to give you..." Undyne said, smiling. She frowned. "But you're carrying way too much!"

"Bacon balls, really?" I asked. "Must've bought too many Cinnamon Buns." Alrighty dite, skip the sorting-jazz-out stuff. I put lots of food in my bag. I'd probably have to eat to stay alive and jazz now, not just 'cause it was cheese balls. In my bag was the Nice Cream, three Cinnamon Buns, space-dude food and the locket. Back to Undyne.

"Um, so, I have a favor to ask you," Undyne said. She looked a little _ehh_. "Uuuh, I... I need you to deliver this letter. To Dr. Alphys."

"Cool beans," I said. I looked around awkwardly. "Heya... don't get bacon balls at me, but... uh, why aren'tcha doing this yourself?"

"Huh?!" Undyne asked. "Why don't I do it myself...?! Um... w-well..." She had that _ehh_ look. "I-it's kind of personal, but we're friends... so... I'll t-tell you." She went back to normal. "Hotland SUUUUCKS! I don't wanna have to go over there! So here you go."

"I get that," I said. "It's pretty hot." I got Undyne's letter.

"Oh, and if you read it..." Undyne said. "I'll KILL you." She smiled. "Thanks so much! You're the best!"

"No prob and all that." I said. I went back to the River Dude. I posted _, my pal just gave me a letter got to go to Alphys' lab and see what's up yo. Tbh I don't wanna go to Hotland oh well :P._ But I did wanna see Alphys. So I went to Hotland. It was hot. I saved in front of Alphys' Lab. **Stay determined** , the SAVE point said. **And decide on a freaking ringtone already. File saved!** I frowned. _Yeah, my ringtone's pretty bacon balls_. I went to Alphys' door. I knocked. No one showed up. So I put the letter under the door and knocked again.

"Hey, Alphys!" I called. "It's me, the human! You there?"

"Huh?" Alphys asked on the other side. "Oh, h-hi? Is this your letter? I-it's shut kind of strongly, i-isn't it? Hold on a minute..." I heard some nuts noises. Then I think Alphys read the letter. She opened the door. "Oh my god..." she said, looking kinda _ehh_. "This is adorable. I h-had no idea you, um, wrote that way! It's surprising, too... After all the gross stuff I did... I don't really deserve to be forgiven."

 _That ain't your letter! Say something!_ "It's cool beans, Alphys. I forgive you." I said. _You stupido._

"Oh, um, good... And.. much less this, um..." Alphys looked _ehh_. She held up the letter. "This? And so passionately, too. You know what, okay! I'll do it! It's the least I can do to make it up to you! Y-yeah! Let's go on a date!"

 _A date,_ I thought. _A date. A date... a date... A DATE... A DATE! A DATE A DATE A DATE! NO NO NO NO NO! NAH! NO WAY IN BACON BALLS! A DATE I DON'T DO! NO DATING! YOU TELL HER WHO THE LETTER IS FROM! DATING'S BACON BALLS!_ But now I had an idea. _This date might make Alphys cheese balls. If she thinks I love her, her self-love will go up._ But I felt off. See, I didn't really like love anymore. Flirting and jazz. Dates. They all make me feel... gross. This change went on after the whole scary-Flowey jazz, like when my HP went to 20. So I didn't really wanna go on a date. I didn't even wanna think 'bout dates. And I had a bacon balls past with dates.

But... this was Alphys. It was gonna help her self-love and jazz. And that gave me DETERMINATION to go on that fluffing date. So I said, "Yeah, sure, let's date." And then the date started.


	14. I go into the lab of nightmares

**~Chapter 13: I go into the lab of nightmares~**

The date with Alphys is my fave date (sorry Papyrus). If I'm not lying… the date with Papyrus… was, uh, what's the word… _influenced_ by someone. We'll get back to that dude later. But the Alphys date? Holy, nah, that was different. That was _my_ influence. Came from the heart and jazz.

Alphys ran off. "Uhhhhh, sorry!" she said. "I'm still getting dressed!"

"It's cool beans." I said. I was wearing all my jazz, so I was fabo already. Alphys came back. She was wearing a dress.

"H-how do I look?" she asked.

"HOLY CRAP!" I yelled. I shrugged. "You look cheese balls."

"Oh, uh, thanks," Alphys said, looking _ehh_. "My friend helped me pick out this dress. She's got a great sense of…" Pause. "Um, anyway! Let's do this thing!"

"Hit the ball on the mark, holy crap yeah let's go!" I yelled. _I'm bacon balls at this. Something's gonna happen. It'll be my fault._

"H-h-hey, w-w-wait!" Alphys cried. "Actually, we still can't start the date yet! Umm, I've gotta give you items to raise your attention statistic, first! That'll increase the chance of a successful outcome to the date! Right…?"

"Cheese balls jazz," I said. "So… uh, whatcha got?" _Do I sound bacon balls? Am I… being... rude?_

"I'll, uh, show you!" Alphys said. "I-I've been stockpiling gifts in anticipation for a date like this!" She held up this… thing. "Some metal armour polish!"

"Bacon balls to… uh, break it to you, but I don't really…" I looked away. "Wear armour…"

"Yeah... You're right," Alphys said, looking _ehh_. "But! What about some waterproof cream for your scales?"

"I don't have any scales, unless I can't see 'em." I said. _Holy, who'd use these? I, uh… wait a sec…_

"Well… how about…" Alphys held this box. "This magical spear repair kit, that I…"

"I do sticks, not spears, dude," I said, holding up my stick. _You've still got that?_ "But… er, hey, it's the thought that counts… that's the saying, right?"

"Um… how about we forget about the items?" Alphys said. "Let's just start the date!"

"Hit the ball on the mark, holy crap yeah let's go and all that." I said. _Oh holy…_

"Yeah!" Alphys said. "Let's, uh, date!"

"Yeah!" I yelled. We looked around awkwardly. "Uh… so… how's, your, uh, anime going?" _Really?_

"Uh…. good," Alphys said. "Do you… like… anime too?"

"Yeah… it's cheese balls." I said. _This is going bacon balls._

"H-hey! Me too!" Alphys said, kinda _ehh_.

"So… we were gonna watch that show, _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ or something, right?" I asked.

"Heh heh, y-yeah!" Alphys cried. She frowned. "But… maybe we can watch it, uh, later…"

"Cool beans," I said. I smiled. "Do you like ice-cream? I do. Actually, I _love_ it! It's cheese balls!"

"Yeah! I love ice-cream too!" Alphys said. Pause. She looked around awkwardly. "Hey, uh, wanna go somewhere? Where's a good place to go on a date…?"

"A date, huh?" I asked. "What 'bout the Garbage Dump? It's, like, my home base there." _It'll make this date awesome-sauce! And Alphys… I think she finds that joint cheese balls._

"Is it? It's mine, too!" Alphys said. She smiled. "Yeah! L-let's go there!"

One trip later...

"Here we are!" Alphys cried. "This is where Undyne and I come all the time… We find all sorts of great stuff here. Heh, she's really…"

"...awesome-sauce?" I asked. Alphys was looking at something. "What's that?"

"Oh no," Alphys cried. "That's her over there. I c-can't let her see me on a date with you!"

"Not to be bacon balls, but why not?" I asked. _Something 'bout Alphys and Undyne… feels so… cheese balls..._

"Why…?" Alphys asked. "Because, uh… well… oh no, here she comes!" Undyne came over. Alphys hid behind a bin. Undyne was wearing this fancy jazz.

"Awesome-sauce outfit, Undyne!" I said. "You goin' on a date?"

"Uh…" Undyne looked around. "Like you need to know! Anyway! I came looking for you because… I, uh, realized, if you deliver that thing… it might be a bad idea. So I'm gonna do it! Give it to me!"

"Uh… bacon balls to break it to you, but I… don't have it." I said, frowning. _Wait a sec… Undyne sent that letter… was she tryna go on a date with-_

"Huh?!" Undyne asked. "You don't have it?! Ngggaaaahhh! Have you at least seen her?"

Alphys was freaking out behind the bin. "Yeah," I said. "She's 'round." Not lying... for once.

"You have?" Undyne asked. "So she's somewhere around here… Thanks. I'll keep looking." She left. Alphys came out.

"Oh my god…" she said. "W… well, I guess it's obvious, huh? I… uh… really like her. I mean, more than I like other people!" She frowned. "I'm sorry. I j-just figured, you know… to go on, like, a cute, kind of… pretend date with you? T-to make you feel better?" Pause. "Well, it sounds even worse when I put it like that. I'm sorry. I messed up again." I frowned. _I just made it more bacon balls_. "Undyne's the person I, um… really want to go on a date with. But, I mean… she's way out of my league. N-not that you aren't, um, cool! B-but… Undyne… she's so confident… and strong… and funny… And I'm just a nobody. A fraud. I'm the Royal Scientist, but I've hurt so many people… I've told her so many lies. She thinks… she thinks I'm a lot cooler than I actually am."

"Alright dite, I'mma stop you there," I said. "My chatting turn. First thing: I'm cool beans, I didn't… uh… really like you and jazz either. Y'know, romantically." (At least not yet. Uh... you didn't read that...) "I'll be honest here: I just went on the date… 'cause I thought it'd make you feel cheese balls 'bout yourself. Really... I don't even like dating. Next thing? You're, like, not a nobody!" _I'm a nobody_. "And I bet my fluffing SOUL Undyne likes you too! And you can be cheese balls together if you show your feelings. Here's a saying: be yourself. If Undyne really likes you, she won't fluff 'bout who you are." _I can't do any of that. I'm a... what's it called, hypocrite._

Alphys paused. Then said, "...you're right. Every day I'm scared… scared what will happen if people learn the truth on their own. They'll all get hurt because of me… But how can I tell Undyne the tr… truth? Good advice, but… I d-don't have the confidence… I'm going to mess it up! How can I practice?"

"Let's roleplay!" I cried. "I get to do some acting!"

"R… roleplay?" Alphys asked. "...That actually sounds kind of fun! OK, which one of us will be Undyne?"

"I'll be Undyne," I said. "You be you." I made my cloak do some crazy jazz. I hit the ground. "I'M UNDYNE! NGAHHH! How's it going, punks?!"

"Oh. Right. Obviously." Alphys said. "Ehehe." Pause. "H-hi Undyne… h-how are you doing today?"

"I'm fine." I said.

"Ha! Ha!" Alphys said, all _ehh_. "Glad to hear it! Uhh, so I'd like to, um, talk to you about something."

"What is it, Alphys?" I asked.

"Um, you see… I… I… I… I h-haven't been exactly truthful w-w-with you…" Alphys said. "Y… you see, I… I… Oh, forget it!" Things got nuts. "Undyne! I… I want to tell you how I feel! Y-you're so brave, a-and s-strong… a-and nice… Y-you always listen to me when I talk about n-nerdy stuff… you always d-d-do your best to m-make me f-f-feel special… L-like t-telling me that y-you'll beat up anyone that g-gets in my way…" Things got really nuts. "UNDYNE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER! I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU! HOLD ME, UNDYNE! HOLD ME!" Then the real Undyne showed up.

"WHAT did you say?" she asked.

"U… Undyne!" Alphys said. "I was… just…"

"Hey, whoa, wait a second!" Undyne said. "Your outfit's really cute! What's the occasion?" She looked at us. "Wait a second. Are you two… on a date?"

"UHH, YES!" Alphys cried. "I mean, UHH NO! I mean, we were, but - I mean, actually we were only romantically roleplaying as you!"

"WHAT?" Undyne asked.

"I MEAN!" Alphys cried. She chilled out. "I mean… Undyne… I… I've been lying to you!"

"WHAT?" Undyne asked. "ABOUT WHAT?"

"About… well… everything!" Alphys said. She got closer to Undyne. "I told you seaweed was like… scientifically important… really, I just use it to make ice-cream!" Closer (not the song). "And those human history books I keep reading… those are just dorky comic books! And the history movies… those… those are just, uh, anime! They're not real! And that time I told you I was busy with work on the phone… I was just eating frozen yogurt in my pajamas! That time I-"

"Alphys." Undyne said.

"I… I just wanted to impress you!" Alphys said. "I just wanted you to think I was smart and cool. That I wasn't some… nerdy loser." _Holy crap,_ I thought. _I hate cheesy jazz! But I was honest with Alphys... Uh..._

"Alphys." Undyne pet Alphys' head.

"Undyne, I…" Alphys sounded _ehh_. "I really think you're neat, OK…"

Undyne started hugging Alphys. "Alphys. Shhhhh." Then she threw Alphys into the bin like a basketball. "Alphys! I… think you're neat, too, I guess. But, you've gotta realize… Most of what you said really doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you're watching kid cartoons or reading history books. To me, ALL of that stuff is just NERDY CRAP! What I like about you is that you're PASSIONATE! You're ANALYTICAL! It doesn't matter what it is! YOU CARE ABOUT IT! 100-PERCENT! AT MAXIMUM POWER! ...so, you don't have to lie to me. I don't want you to have to lie to anyone anymore."

"That's spot on the mark, Alphys!" I yelled. "Don't lie!" _Don't be like me._

"Alphys…" Undyne went on. "I want to help you become happy with who you are! And I know just the training you need to do that!"

Alphys looked out from the bin. "Undyne… you… You're gonna train me…?"

"Pfft, what?" Undyne asked. "ME?" Papyrus showed up. He was wearing some new jazz. "Nah, I'm gonna get Papyrus to do it."

"GET THOSE BONES SHAKIN'!" Papyrus yelled. "IT'S TIME TO JOG 100 LABS, HOOTING ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ARE!"

"Ready?" Undyne asked. "I'm about to start the timer!"

"U-Undyne…" Alphys said. "I-I'll do my best!"

"Yeah!" I yelled. "You do it, Alphys! You got this jazz!" She and Papyrus left.

"OH MY GOD!" Undyne yelled. She looked at me. "She was kidding, right?! Those cartoons… those comics… those are still REAL, right?! ANIME'S REAL, RIGHT?!"

"Yeah, anime's real." I said. _Anime's not real_ , I thought.

"HA HA HA!" Undyne yelled. "I KNEW IT! GIGANTIC SWORDS! MAGICAL PRINCESSES! HERE I COME!" Pause. "Uhh, thanks for taking care of Alphys."

"No prob," I said. "You two are a awesome-sauce duo. You just gotta be more… eh, honest with each other."

"Heh, yeah," Undyne said. "I didn't get to say what I wanted, but things seem like they're going to get better for her. Well, I gotta go catch up with them. Later!" She left. I kinda wanted to go too, but I didn't know where they went. So I left Waterfall. Papyrus rang and told me to go see Alphys at her joint. So I did, taking the River Dude's boat. I got to Alphys'. There was a note near the loo.

It said some jazz about Alphys being cheese balls 'bout us fluffing 'bout her, and she said she had to 'fix her mistakes'. These 'mistakes' were in her toilet. Guess what, dudes? Her toilet wasn't really a toilet. It was a lift. I went into the lift and went down to… wherever. The lift kinda… eh, went all nuts. And flashing red. I started freaking out. _Am I gonna die? Holy crap no! I never got to_ \- Darkness. I'd died. The end. Just kidding! I was at this scary place, with dark walls and jazz. I didn't like this joint. I walked a bit. I saw this sign.

ENTRY NUMBER 1: _This is it… Time to do what the King has asked me to do. I will create the power to free us all. I will unleash the power of the SOUL._ A bit more walking. ENTRY NUMBER 2 _: The barrier is locked by SOUL power.. Unfortunately, this power cannot be recreated artificially. SOUL power can only be derived from what was once living. So, to create more, we will have to use what we have now… The SOULs of monsters._

 _But… Monster souls disappear and jazz… right? And they're kinda weak… right?_ I thought. ENTRY NUMBER 3: _But extracting a SOUL from a living monster would require incredible power… Besides being impractical, doing so would instantly destroy the SOUL's host. And, unlike the persistent SOULs of humans… The SOULs of most monsters disappear immediately upon death. If only I could make a monster's SOUL last…_ More walking.

ENTRY NUMBER 5: _I've done it. Using the blueprints, I've extracted it from the human SOULs. I believe this is what gives their SOULs the strength to persist after death. The will to keep living… the resolve to change fate. Let's call this power… 'Determination'_. I gasped. _Determination…? Holy, hold on a sec. That's the jazz… that's been, like, helping me, right? Is it an awesome-sauce human thing? Is it why I can SAVE and stuff?_ I got to this new room. There was a locked door, a vending machine, and a note 'bout the lift.

The note said I had to open that locked door. I got some chisps from the vending machine… yeah, chisps. Auto-correct thinks I'm bacon balls. It's chisps. There was also a SAVE point. It said, **Just past this. Keep holding on. File saved!** I went on a bit. I came to this hall and saw another sign. It said, ENTRY NUMBER 6: _Asgore asked everyone outside the city for monsters that had 'fallen down'. Their bodies came in today. They're still comatose… and soon, they'll all turn into dust. But what happens if I inject 'determination' into them? If their SOULs persist after they perish, then… Freedom might be closer than we all thought._

 _Better hope it does_ , I thought. I walked a bit and came to this scary room with… those beds you see… in hospitals, I think. ENTRY NUMBER 9: _things aren't going well. none of the bodies have turned into dust, so I can't get the SOULs. i told the families that i would give them the dust back for the funerals. people are starting to ask me what's happening. what do i do?_ I frowned. _I dunno, dude_. I saw some sinks. I turned them on. The last one had… this white stuff in it. It was some… monsters. Really scary monsters.

"What the crappy bacon balls?!" I yelled, falling over. I got into battle with… those things. _First Flowey, now this?! I'll never sleep again!_ I thought. The things- I learnt later- were called Memoryheads. They didn't have names and jazz. Determination named them A, B and C. ACT said I could use my phone. I pulled it out… and could hear voices.

"Come join the fun." the Memoryheads said. I didn't wanna 'join the fun'. These attacks… balloon heads or some jazz hit me. I got hurt. More hurt than before, 'cause I had, like, 20 HP. And my SOUL kept flashing green...? **But nobody came** , determination said. _Bacon balls_ , I thought. Then the Memoryheads got their names. I told them I didn't wanna join the fun. One of them said, 'Oh well,' and the others said weird stuff. Then they attacked me again. I got to play the mercy game after that.

 _Holy crap_ , I thought. There was a key in the sink, so I got that. I was down to 10 HP. _Half already?_ I thought. _Bacon balls, I can't_ \- I ate a Cinnamon Bunny and got back to 20 HP. Then I went into this door. It had a scary note and a… what's it called, slot for the red key. I put the key in the slot. It turned on. The note said something 'bout… drains? I dunno. I went back to that place with the door and vending machine. A new joint was open, so I went there.

ENTRY NUMBER 12: _nothing is happening. i don't know what to do_. _i'll just keep injecting everything with 'determination'. i want this to work_. I walked a bit. ENTRY NUMBER 13: _one of the bodies opened its eyes_. I thought, _Kinda scary_. I came to this room. There were a gazillion beds. One looked… kinda cheese balls. But I was too scared to sleep there. I walked some more and came to a door. There was a sign and a SAVE point. The SAVE point said, **They're working now. Causing trouble. Don't let them win. File saved!** _What're you saying?_ I thought.

ENTRY NUMBER 14: _Everyone that had fallen down… has woken up. They're all walking around and talking like nothing is wrong. I thought they were goners…?_ I walked into the door. ENTRY NUMBER 15: _Seems like this research was a dead end… But at least we got a happy ending out of it? I sent the SOULS and the vessel back to Asgore. And I called all of the families and told them everyone's alive. I'll send everyone back tomorrow. :)_

 _Cheese balls, a cheese balls ending!_ I thought. _Wait, what's this vessel she's talking about?_ ENTRY NUMBER 16: _no No NO NO NO NO NO_. I thought, _Uh… not so cheese balls?_ I went ahead some more. I saw this scary… machine, that looked like a head. A scary head. A SAVE point was there. Well… it wasn't really a SAVE point. It was this scary monster called Lemon Bread. _Lemon bread? That jazz's cheese balls!_ I thought. _But this monster ain't!_

I let Lemon Bread do its thing. It said, "Welcome to my special hell." The attack thingo turned into this… mouth. It was, like, tryna hit me with its teeth. I ran for cheese balls. I got down to 15 HP. I flexed… 'cause why not. Lemon Bread looked _ehh_. It said, "That's what they all say." Its words were, like, all over the joint. Its attack went all… nuts, and it shot things at me. "But nobody came."

"Uh…" I sung a song. Lemon Bread was like, _dude, I've heard that jazz!_

"I've felt this before." it said. Attack. I was at 4 HP. I played the mercy game and ate another Cinnamon Bunny. There was a sign near the scary head thing. It said: _DT EXTRACTION MACHINE. STATUS: INACTIVE_. I thought, _DT… DT… DT…_ _Determination? Holy…_ There was another door going somewhere else. So I went there. There was a TV and some old… tapes, I think they're called. On the wall, there was ENTRY NUMBER 4: _I've been researching humans to see if I can find any info about their SOULS. I ended up snooping around the castle… and finding these weird tapes. I don't feel like Asgore's watched them… I don't think he should._

I didn't really wanna watch them either. But I did anyway… 'cause YOLO. There was this one 'bout Asgore and Toriel… having a kid. There were some pretty bacon balls puns in there. There were some more tapes 'bout some dude named Chara. And… Asriel, I think. Chara made some scary faces, then they and Asriel… made the King sick with buttercups or something? I dunno. Then Chara got sick…? And then they died. Nuts stuff. There was also this one with some kid talking. Their voice was... familiar...? They were talking to some other dude. They were saying the other dude's SOUL was gonna look different but it was gonna be the same...? I dunno.

I found this shower… with some dude showering. In there was a green key. I got that. I walked some more and came to this room with… these fans, I think. It was pretty dusty. ENTRY NUMBER 11: _now that mettaton's made it big, he never talks to me anymore… except to ask when i'm going to finish his body. but i'm afraid if i finish his body, he won't need me anymore… then we'll never be friends ever again… not to mention, every time i try to work on it, i just get really sweaty…_ I thought, _That's kinda soppy…_

I found this… uh, switch thingo. It turned on the fan. All the dust and jazz went away. Well, not all. Some came back and turned into… a dog? A scary dog. It got closer and closer to me. _Bacon balls_ , I thought. _Bacon balls, bacon balls!_ I couldn't move or do any jazz. Not cheese balls. We got into battle. The dog was called Amalgamate… but I found out later it was really called Endogeny. It really freaked me out.

It shot all these… uh, what are they called, arrows at me. I yelled at it… 'cause that's whatcha do with dogs, I think. Some… gross stuff… came from a hole in its face. Then it turned into this… rocket or some jazz and went after me. I was down to 13 HP. I pet Endogeny. It got nuts, then slept on my lap… and woke up! More attacks. I threw my stick somewhere. Endogeny got it and gave it to me.

"Cheese balls dog," I said. "Do it again!" A few times later, the Amalgamate was sleepy. But not for long. It woke up and attacked me… again. I ate some Popato Chisps. My HP was cool beans. The dog hit me again. I pet it. It was getting really nuts. I pet it… just one more time. Endogeny was cool beans. So I played the mercy game. After that, I went back to the joint with all the beds. The yellow key was in one of the beds. I put that in the slot in the room with the tapes. The yellow door was cool beans!

I went past the DT machine and came to this room with fridges. _Ice-cream?_ I thought. _Or some jazz_. ENTRY NUMBER 19: _the families keep calling me to ask when everyone is coming home. what am i supposed to say? i don't even answer the phone anymore._ I sussed out two fridges. One had… samples? ENTRY NUMBER 20: _Asgore left me five messages today. four about everyone being angry. one about this cute teacup he found that looks like me. thanks asgore._ There was a fridge shaking. I didn't wanna look at it.

ENTRY NUMBER 21: _i spend all my time at the garbage dump now. it's my element_. I thought, _That's pretty soppy_. _I… know what that's like_. I sussed out the fridges that weren't shaking. The last one had a dude in it. A scary dude, who sorta looked like Snowdrake. A lady dude. Her name was So Cold. My brain was all like, _fluff this,_ and didn't say anything. I checked out So Cold.

"Sn… ow… y…" she said. I felt soppy. Her attacks, like, missed me and jazz. Even more soppy.

"Uh…" I said. I thought of a bacon balls snow pun. "'Sup? It's 'ice' to meet you!"

Cue the throwing tomatoes...

"Haha…" So Cold said. "I… remem… ber…" Her attacks didn't hit me. I frowned. _This is bacon balls_ , I thought. _Why's everything so bacon balls?_

"Better not snow 'flake' out!" I said. _Oh holy…_

"Haha…" So Cold said. "Thank… you…"

"You just need to 'chill' out!" I said. So Cold was cool beans with that and left. I was cool beans too. But I wasn't liking this lab. I found a blue key, then went into another room. It had a slot for the green key, so I put it there. Then I went past the DT thingo, some hall, the bed place, and came to this room with all these golden flowers and mirrors.

ENTRY NUMBER 7: _We'll need a vessel to wield the monster SOULs when the time comes. After all, a monster cannot absorb the SOULs of other monsters. Just as a human cannot absorb a human SOUL… So then… what about something that's neither human nor monster?_ I thought 'bout that. _Like, forever ago, didn't the scary voice say something… like, 'except you'? They said… humans can't… eh, take other human's souls… but they said 'except you'. Does that mean…_

ENTRY NUMBER 10: _experiments on the vessel are a failure. it doesn't seem to be any different from the control cases. whatever. they're a hassle to work with anyway. the seeds just stick to you, and won't let go…_ I thought, _So, Alphys tried to… uh… experiment on flowers… golden flowers… like Flowey? So… is Flowey… like an experimented flower or some jazz?_ I walked a bit. Near some mirrors, another monster showed up. It was called ,. Yes. ,. Comma. Or Reaper Bird.

It threw butterflies at me. I picked on it. It was… sorta cool beans? More butterflies. I did something awesome-sauce. Reaper Bird saw that it needed to learn jazz. It threw some… scary heads at me. I prayed. Reaper Bird was like, _holy, I remember something!_ Then I played the mercy game. There was a door that had a blue key slot. I put the key in there, then went on.

I got back to that room with the door. It was open, so I went in. There was… I dunno, a lift… then a hall. It took me to the power joint for the lift. I turned it on. Then the Amalgamates showed up. They got close to me. _Bacon balls, holy crap!_

"Hey! Stop!" someone yelled. It was Alphys. "I got you guys some food, okay?!" The Amalgamates left. "Sorry about that…" Alphys said. "They get kind of sassy when they don't get fed on time. I think they smelled the potato chips you had, and… Anyway! The power went out, and I've been trying to turn it back on! But it seems like you were one step ahead of me. This was probably just a big inconvenience for you… B-but I appreciate that you came here to back me up!"

"It's cool beans, dude." I said, smiling. _Thank cheese balls this is over._

"As I said, I was afraid I might…" Alphys paused. "Not come back… but that's not because of these guys or anything! I was just worried I would be too afraid… to tell the truth… That I might run away, or do something… cowardly."

"Aw, Alphys," I said. "Holy, dude, everyone thinks you're awesome-sauce! Like I said, your friends won't really fluff 'bout the truth if they love you." _If you're not me, that is…_ "So, uh, what's the deal with this joint? Those… monsters… and jazz."

Alphys looked away. "W-well, as you probably know, Asgore asked me to study the nature of SOULs. During my research, I isolated a power I called 'determination'. I injected it into the dying monsters so their SOULs would last after death. But the experiment failed." She looked at me. "You see, unlike humans', monsters' bodies don't have enough… physical matter to take those concentrations of 'determination'. Their bodies started to melt, and lost what physicality they had. Pretty soon, all of the test subjects had melted together into… Those."

"Holy, so that's what's up?" I asked. "Go on." _Holy…_

"Seeing them like this, I knew…" Alphys frowned. "I couldn't tell their families about it. I couldn't tell anyone about it. No matter how much everyone was asking me. And I was too afraid to do any more work, knowing… everything I'd done so far had been such a horrific failure." Pause. "... but now. Now, I've changed my mind about all this. I'm going to tell everyone what I've done." Pause. "It's going to be hard. Being honest… believing in myself… I'm sure there will be times where I'll struggle. I'm sure there will be times where I screw up again."

"...but you can do it!" I said. "I'll back you up, dude! I believe in you! All your friends do!"

"That's right, hopefully," Alphys said. "Knowing deep down that I have friends I can fall back on… I know it'll be a lot easier to stand on my own. Thank you." I bowed. The Amalgamates showed up. "Come on, guys. It's time for everyone to go home."

"Wait!" I said. I hugged Alphys. "There you go, dude! Roll it in!" Alphys gently hugged me back.

"Heh heh, thank you… so much." she said. She and the Amalgamates left. Alphys and I… are, what's the word, _similar_. We had the same probs. And… I'm a big liar (y'know). I kept… I guess, acting, tryna be 'cool' and 'awesome-sauce'. I was always my alter ego - an 'outgoing' kid who's cool beans with everything, and does everything by themself. I'm cheese balls at hiding my probs… the truth… my… what's the word, lack of self-love. I acted more determined than I was. My SOUL was a lie too (you'll see more 'bout that later).

The real me's just a doormat. A weakling.

I left the power joint and found some more signs. ENTRY NUMBER 8: _I've chosen a candidate. I haven't told Asgore yet, because I want to surprise him with it… In the center of his garden, there's something special. The first golden flower, that grew before all the others. The flower from the outside world. It appeared just before the queen left. I wonder… what happens when something without a SOUL gains the will to live?_ ENTRY NUMBER 18: _the flower's gone._

 _Oh bacon balls_ , I thought. _Flowey…?_ I got to the lift. Then some dude… they sounded... Familiar… rung me…

" **Hello, T.D.C** ," they said. " **It's me… we're finally apart again. It's been awhile since we've been split, hasn't it? Now, thanks to you, my plan's fallen into place. I'll finally get my happy ending. This pathetic world and every timeline will be destroyed, and then we'll form a new world. I wouldn't have been able to have done this without you, my best friend. I'll see you soon. I'm looking forward to our reunion**." It was the scary voice! Then, the lift shut and took me somewhere. That somewhere… was the King's joint.

 _Oh holy_ , I thought. I knew crap was gonna go down. _Here we go._


	15. Calling all the humans!

**A/N: For this battle, I imagine the metal covers of Hopes and Dreams/Save the World to play. And a slowed Fallen Down for the not-fighting parts XD**

* * *

 **~Chapter 14: Calling all the humans!~**

I had alotta things to think 'bout. I thought 'bout that scary voice. _Am I gonna find out who they are?_ I thought. _And their 'plan'? And a gazillion other things?_ I paused. _Am I gonna go home? If I, eh, have one_. I walked past the King's jazz again. There were no SAVE points. Not really cheese balls. _Flowey called me a 'puppet'_ , I thought. _What's he saying there? And why was I super strong? What am I?_

I finally found a SAVE thingo near the Barrier. Y'know, that gate. I saved. **Determination** , said the SAVE point. **File saved!** I looked at the gate and went in. Asgore was there. _Wait, didn't he die? Did some jazz reset? 'Cause… Sans wasn't in the Hall this time. So… was that phone call… from a different timeline?_

"This is the barrier," Asgore said. _I know, dude!_ "This is what keeps us all trapped underground." _I know that too!_ "If… If by chance you have any unfinished business... please do what you must."

"Nah." I said. _Oh holy… I don't wanna fight this dude again!_

"I see…" Asgore said. "This is it, then." He turned around. "Ready?" The human souls showed up. Like, from before. And… we got into battle… sorta. **A strange light fills the room** , a voice said. It wasn't the scary voice. **Twilight is shining through the barrier. It seems your journey is finally over. You're filled with DETERMINATION**. It didn't say anymore jazz like the scary voice did.

"Wait, dude," I said. I held out my soul. "I was gonna-" A fireball hit Asgore and he went away. "Asgore…?" The dude who threw the fireball showed up. I was all like, _holy crap!_ "Mom!" I cried. "I…" _Holy crap_.

"What a miserable creature, torturing such a poor, innocent, youth…" Toriel said. _Didn't you say that to Flowey?_ "Do not be afraid, my child. It is I, Toriel, your friend and guardian."

"Mom…" I said. "I, er, holy! What're you… doin' here?"

Mom said, "At first, I thought I would let you make your journey alone… But I could not stop worrying about you. Your adventure must have been so treacherous."

"It was kinda bacon balls." I said, shrugging.

"... and ultimately," Mom frowned. "It would burden you with a horrible choice. To leave this place, you would have to take the life of another person. You would have to defeat Asgore." She stopped the frowning. "However… I realized… I cannot allow that. It is not right to sacrifice someone simply to let someone leave here. Is that not what I have been trying to prevent this whole time? So, for now, let us suspend this battle. As terrible as Asgore is… He deserves mercy, too."

"Mom, _everyone_ deserves mercy." I said. _Not me._

"Tori… you came back...!" Asgore cried. Mom frowned.

"Do not 'Tori' me, Dreemurr!" she said. "You pathetic whelp." _Holy that hits haaarrd_ , I thought. "If you really wanted to free our kind… you could have gone through the barrier after you got ONE SOUL… taken six SOULs from the humans, then come back and freed everyone peacefully. But instead, you made everyone live in despair… because you would rather wait here, meekly hoping another human never comes."

"Yeah, you go Mom!" I yelled. _Wait... I don't get it._

Asgore frowned. "... Tori… You're right… I am a miserable creature… but, do you think we can at least be friends again?"

Mom didn't look cool beans with that. "NO, Asgore." Then Undyne showed up.

"Ngahhhhhh!" she yelled. "Asgore! Human! Nobody fight each other! Everyone's gonna make friends, or else I'll…!" She saw Mom. "I'll…."

"Hello," Mom said. "I am Toriel. Are you the human's friend? It is nice to meet you."

"Uh, yeah…?" Undyne said, looking _ehh_. "Nice to meet you too!" Asgore was looking soppy. Undyne went up to him. "Hey Asgore, is that your ex? Jeez. That's rough, buddy." Alphys showed up. _Everyone's showing up,_ I thought. _Where's my popcorn? Or ice-cream?_

"H-hey!" Alphys said. "Nobody hurt each other!" She saw Mom.

"Oh!" Mom said. "Are you another friend? I am Toriel. Hello!"

"Uh, h-h-hi!" Alphys said. She looked at me. "(THERE'S TWO OF THEM?!)" I shrugged. Papyrus showed up.

"HEY!" he said. "NOBODY FIGHT ANYONE! IF ANYONE FIGHTS ANYONE…! THEN I'LL! BE FORCED! TO ASK UNDYNE FOR HELP!"

"She's already here, dude." I said.

"Hello!" Mom said, looking at Papyrus.

"OH!" Papyrus said. "HELLO, YOUR MAJESTY!" He looked at me. "PSST! HEY, HUMAN… DID ASGORE SHAVE…? AND… CLONE HIMSELF?"

Sans joined the party. "hey guys… what's up?"

Mom was like, _whoa, dude!_ "That voice…!" she said. She went over to Sans. "Hello, I think we may… Know each other?"

"oh hey…" Sans said. "i recognize your voice, too." _Aww, holy,_ I thought.

"I am Toriel," Mom said. "So nice to meet you."

"the name's sans," Sans said. "and, uh, same."

Mom had that _whoa, dude!_ face again. "Oh! Wait, then…" She looked at Papyrus. "This must be your brother, Papyrus! Greetings, Papyrus! It is so nice to finally meet you! Your brother has told me so much about you."

"WOWIE…" Papyrus said. He was blushing. _Skeletons can blush?!_ I thought. _I can too!_ "I CAN'T BELIEVE ASGORE'S CLONE KNOWS WHO I AM! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"Hey, Papyrus..." Mom said. "What does a skeleton tile his roof with?" _Stuff, I think,_ I thought.

"HMMM…" Papyrus asked. "SNOW-PROOF ROOF TILES?"

"No, silly!" Mom said. "A skeleton tiles his roof with… SHIN-gles!" _Oh, that's bacon balls!_ I thought. I laughed.

Papyrus wasn't cheese balls. "I CHANGED MY MIND! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"Come on, Asgore!" Undyne said to Asgore. "It's gonna be OK! There are plenty of fish in the sea..."

"Y-yeah, Asgore!" Alphys said. She sounded _ehh_. "Undyne's totally right about the fish thing! S-sometimes you've just got to, uh… s-stop going after furry boss monsters and, uh… J-just get to know a really cute fish…?" She looked around. "It's a metaphor."

"Well," Undyne said. "I think it's a good analogy."

Then Mettaton showed up. "OH MY GOD!" he yelled. "Will you two just SMOOCH already?! The audience is DYING for some romantic action!"

"HEY, SHUT UP!" Undyne yelled. "Man, the nerve of that guy! Right, Alphys?" Alphys didn't say jazz. "Uh, Alphys?"

"No," Alphys said. "He's right. LET'S DO IT."

 _Oh holy crap_ , I thought. I looked away.

"Well? Uh? I guess? If you want to? Then?" Undyne asked. "Don't hold anything back!" I didn't see what jazz went on 'cause I was looking away. Romance is bacon balls. Mom stopped 'em anyway. Thanks Mom. I looked back.

"Hee hee hee," Mom said. She smiled. "My child, it seems as if you must stay here for a while. But looking at all the great friends you have made… I think… I think you will be happy here."

"Uh, yeah, uh, totes…" I said. _They'll dump me, like everyone else_ , I thought. _What'll I do? I won't be able to run away. And they won't want me 'round. I'll be bacon balls. It's cheese balls for all dudes if I give up my SOUL…_ "Heya, dudes… Uh, do you really wanna go home? Surface, I mean. Y'know. Heh. Heh." _Drop the scared-ness!_ _Be… your… what's it called, facade_. "'Cause, I was thinking… you've got the six human souls, right? You need… seven to get out, right? And, I'm a, uh, human, right?"

"My child…" Mom looked at me. "Are you saying…" Everyone got it then. I think.

"Wait, hold on, punk!" Undyne yelled. "We just became friends! You can't…"

"kid…" Sans said. Papyrus looked kinda soppy. What's the word… _Understatement_ of every timeline.

"I-is that why you c-called everyone here?" Alphys asked. "To say… t-to say…"

"Whoa, hold up, 'called everyone here'?" I asked. "When'd I do that?"

"BEFORE," Papyrus said, still looking kinda soppy (still kinda an understatement). "YOU TOLD ME TO CALL EVERYONE HERE BEFORE, AFTER ALPHYS' TRAINING."

"Huh?" I asked. "Dude, I was _at_ Alphys'. And I didn't ring anyone there. I didn't know you dudes were gonna show up here." I paused. "So, if I didn't call you here… who the fluff did?"

" **I did.** " someone said. _The scary voice!_ I thought. My pals were pulled up by their SOULs by these light thingies. Big, light thingies. Like, all light. And big. Big light thingies. You get it.

"What…" I said. This dude walked over. They looked just like the kid from my dreams… and they looked like me. They had the same clothes, hair, all the jazz. Well, their hair didn't hide their face. And they weren't wearing a cloak. But they looked like me. Oh yeah, they looked kinda… uh, what's the word, expressionless.

" **Hello**." they said. _This is the scary voice?!_ I thought. _Wait… the scary voice and the kid… they're the same dude?!_ " **Yes, I'm the 'scary voice' and 'the kid'. I don't really want to be called by that, especially by you. My name is Frisk, the Eighth Human, or, in some cases, The Angel. But just call me 'Frisk'.** "

"Wait…" I said. "You're Frisk?! That kid… Flowey said some jazz 'bout?"

"Yes." said Frisk.

"And… holy, you're the Angel... (in some cases)?" I asked. "I thought I was the Angel…"

" **BFF** ," Frisk said, looking away. " **I have to be honest… did you listen to Flowey? He called you a puppet. That's what you are. A puppet. You're only here because of me. You only fell down because of me. You were only strong because of me. Those dreams you had? The only ones that had you in them were the ones where I was talking to you in your parents' garden. The rest… the rest were about me. Including the dreams… of murder.** "

"So… _you_ were in my dreams all along?" I asked. "That killer-dude wasn't me? I'm not… the Angel?"

"No." said Frisk. " _I'm_ the Angel." They paused. "(At least in this timeline.)"

"But… I don't get it," I said. "What… what are you doing? Why'd you bring me down here?! How was I strong?"

Frisk looked away. " **This is a pathetic world. It doesn't matter how many times I reset or who I kill, nothing ever works. No ending is good enough. So I will destroy this world and create my OWN ending."** They looked at me. " **And thanks to you, my plan's possible**."

"How did I help you and jazz?" I asked.

Frisk said, " **In your dreams, I told you you had a special power. A power no other human has. And you do: you have the power to absorb monster… and human SOULs. And because you're my best friend, you accepted my SOUL. You became powerful. There was… a three-year interruption, but you got to Mt. Ebott. With MY help, you survived. And, because of that three-year break, I temporarily have your power to absorb human souls, like you can currently SAVE**." They smiled in a bacon balls way. " **I knew this would happen. Now, I've taken the six other human SOULs, and I'll take all the monster SOULs too. Then, with my power, I will DESTROY this world and create a better one. All I need… is YOUR SOUL.** "

"You wanna destroy the world with power and jazz?" I said. "No way, dude! I'm not giving up my SOUL!"

" **You're an idiot** ," Frisk said. " **T.D.C, I know everything about you. You can lie to everyone else, but you can't lie to ME. I know how weak you really are. You can't stop me. No one can. I AM DETERMINED.** " They showed off their red SOUL. " **I am the most determined being in this entire universe! Play the 'mercy game' on yourself and give up your SOUL.** "

"Nah!" I yelled. "No way!" I felt kinda scared.

" **Do I have to do this the hard way?** " Frisk asked. " **Mercy is pathetic, anyway. It gets you nowhere. You get nothing. If you want something, take it**." All these knives showed up near me. " **T.D.C… You don't get it. You think you're IMPORTANT in this world. You think your life means something. T.D.C… Let me say…"** They looked really scary. " **YOU ARE NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. You're only here because I let you take my SOUL. The truth is… without me, you'd be NOTHING. YOU WOULD BE DEAD. Because… I know how weak you are. Everyone thinks you're determined… but you're not. You're not even a SOUL of determination. You're just a kid wearing a facade of LIES. The real you… you hate the real you. I see why. The real you is NOTHING.** "

"I…" I said. _They're… spot on the mark_ , I thought. _I_ am _a liar. I'm not determined._

" **No wonder those humans dumped you** ," Frisk went on. " **They must really HATE you**." They looked at my monster pals. " **Soon, all your other friends will be dead. Ones who 'care' about you. But when they see the real you… they'll hate you. They'll want you dead. Everyone will want you dead. And… it'll be all YOUR fault they died. Because you led them into this, didn't you? Oh, T.D.C…** " They looked at me. " **You dirty murderer.** "

Now I didn't know what to say. I didn't feel determined. Just… soppy. _What've I done?_ I thought. _My pals… I've done this to them. I am a murderer… I wish I wasn't born. I wish I just went with my head and ignored everyone… but I'm too weak for that. Frisk's right. I'm bacon balls._

" **Do you get it now?** " Frisk asked. " **You are not loved. You are not valued. Give up. There's nothing else you can do.** " They made these knives go for my SOUL. I smiled (yes, I did). Then, some fire jazz stopped the knives. It was Mom!

"Do not be afraid my child…" she said. Frisk didn't look cheese balls. "No matter what happens… We will always be there to protect you!" Frisk tried again. Bones and spears stopped the knives.

"THAT'S RIGHT, HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "YOU CAN WIN! JUST DO WHAT I WOULD DO… BELIEVE IN YOU!"

"Hey! Human!" Undyne joined in. "If you got past ME, you can do ANYTHING! So don't worry! We're with you all the way!" My SOUL had some health back.

"huh? you haven't beaten this kid yet?" Sans asked. "come on, they've got nothin' on you." Frisk tried again. Alphys and Asgore helped out.

"Technically, it's impossible for you to beat them..." Alphys said. "B-but… somehow, I know you can do it!"

"Human," Asgore said. "For the future of humans and monsters, you have to stay determined...!"

" **This is ridiculous!** " Frisk yelled. " **Don't listen to them, T.D.C! They're lying!** "

" _You're_ the one who's lying!" some monster yelled. All these monsters showed up and were all cheese balls and like, _you got this, dude!_ I smiled.

"You guys are awesome-sauce…" I said. "Thanks…"

" **Stupid!** " Frisk yelled. " **You're all STUPID! You can never defeat ME! I AM DETERMINATION!** " Then all the monsters were caught in the light stuff. There was alotta white. And… Frisk was back. They were wearing this cloak thing. They looked pretty dark. They weren't looking at me.

"Tues," Frisk said. They didn't sound scary. Oh, and I hate that name, don't call me it. "I can't believe it. It's finally time for the perfect ending… and we'll get it together, just like we promised."

"Uh…" I said.

Frisk said, "I've waited too long for this… I'm so excited. Aren't you?"

"Um…" I said.

"There's no one else I'd rather be with right now," Frisk said. They smiled and turned around, looking kinda scary. "Don't you remember? It's me, Frisk…" There was some light, their cloak flew off… then they looked like some kind of super villain. They were wearing black clothes, a cloak, and holding knives. They had human SOUL thingies on their clothes. They looked pretty scary. They smiled. " **YOUR BEST FRIEND**."

 _What the bacon balls?!_ I thought. _I don't even know this dude!_ Frisk hung out with their knives.

 **Frisk** , the narrator said. **ATK: 99+ DF: 99+. The Angel of the Prophecy, the Eighth Human and your Best Friend. Currently made of seven human SOULs** , **including their own.**

" **You know in your heart you can't win,** " Frisk said. " **So stop trying.** " Knives showed up again and tried to kill me. I missed a few. I got a bit hurt. I looked at **ACT:** **Plead For Mercy, Call To The Humans, Don't Give Up**. I said the third choice.

"I _can_ win!" I said. "So fluff you!" Frisk's soul thingies went light blue. And their voice sounded different. Their attacks were knives. Different knives. They had this big split SOUL on their… what's it called, chest, that was red, but was now light blue.

"Don't move…" Frisk said in a different voice. It was kinda… quiet. I didn't move jazz. I was cool beans! 'Frisk' smiled at me. "Good job. Be patient… if you wait I'm sure you'll win!"

"Thanks." I said. Then it was the real Frisk. They threw more knives at me. Their knives. I ran all over the joint. One hit me. I was down to 15 HP.

" **No one will EVER believe in you,** " Frisk said. " **Not even your pathetic friends. They'll give up on you. I mean, everyone already has.** " Those words hurt more than the knives. But I kept my cool beans face on. Then all Frisk's souls went orange. And Frisk went different too. It was kinda like the Flowey fight. All these hands and jazz came at me. I ran all over the joint, tryna miss 'em. Some hit me.

"Just keep moving!" 'Frisk' said, now the orange dude. So… I did that, I think. "Nothing will stand in your way! And be brave, too, okay?!"

"Got it." I said. Back to Frisk! I ate some chisps. Frisk pulled out this knife and swung it at me a gazillion times.

" **Can you even call yourself human?** " Frisk asked. " **You're even weaker than a monster.** " They swung again. _Oh holy bacon balls..._ Then their souls went dark blue. All these ballet shoes showed up… and some star thingies. They tried to step on me. And Frisk sounded different again.

"Jump!" they said. I jumped outta the way of some of the ballet shoes. "For the sake of the whole world, make Frisk do the thing they're struggling with. And that's doing the right thing."

"On it!" I said. Frisk was back. They swung their knife, like, cutting the, what's it called, arena. They swung at me too. I was down to 10 HP.

" **Y'know…** " Frisk said. They frowned and sounded kid-like. **[A/N: Pause Hopes and Dreams and play Fallen Down XD]** "You were the only one who got me. You were… the best friend I ever had. We shared so many memories. And… when we… 'joined SOULs'..." They looked bacon balls. **[A/N: Hopes and Dreams again XD]** " **I knew my plan was going to work. Do you know why?** " They swung at me again.

"No!" I yelled. "Stop!" I ran all over the joint. My SOUL kept turning green and jazz. I didn't know what was going on.

" **I will never stop,** " Frisk said. " **But you? You _will_ stop. You'll help me. You'll do it, T.D.C. You'll do it for me.** " Their souls went purple. All these books showed up and tried to hit me with words. Bacon balls words.

"Stay on the lines," Frisk said with a different voice. There were some lines, so I hung near them. "Persevere. It's the only way you'll survive."

"Cool beans." I said. Frisk again. Knives flew at me from all over the joint. _Holy fluffing crap!_ I thought.

" **I was there when you lived with the other humans,** " Frisk said. " **You must be NOTHING to them for them to let you go so easily… And you wouldn't be anything here without me either.** " Their souls went green. All these saucepans were throwing jazz at me.

"Block yourself," Frisk said in some other voice. I tried to block myself. Frisk sounded cheese balls. "Great job! You're doing really good. I know Frisk seems evil, but there's still good in them! Be kind whatever happens, won't you?"

"Yeah, got it." I said. Frisk was back.

" **That's right,** " they said. " **It was because of me you had confidence. It was because of me you stayed DETERMINED. Look at what you are without me. A weakling.** " They hit me with more knives. I ate that Nice Cream. I felt cheese balls. Well, it's ice-cream. You gotta.

"Just lemme go, Frisk." I said. **Frisk is too DETERMINED to listen** , some voice said. Frisk's souls went yellow. Some gun showed up near me. It shot jazz at me.

"Shoot!" Frisk yelled, being another dude. "Defeat Frisk! They deserve their justice on a fresh platter!"

"For you, dude!" I yelled. Frisk was back. They looked kinda angry.

" **You're just not giving in, are you?** " they asked. " **I get that. I'm like that. But there can only be ONE, and that one… is ME. If you don't choose to give up, I'll MAKE you.** " They used their knife on my ITEMS. " **No more items.** " They killed my ACT. " **No more acting.** " They killed my FIGHT. " **No more fighting.** " And then they killed my MERCY. " **And no more mercy. Now you really do have nothing. But I have EVERYTHING. I'll kill you. Again and again, until you let me win. And you'll have to. You've got nothing else.** "

"I…" I said. "I've got my determination!" _No I don't._

" **You'll run out of the little you have... then you'll see what SOUL you really are,** " Frisk said. " **Then there'll be nothing more you can do. Give. UP.** " They threw a gazillion knives at me. Then they tried to hit me, then punch me, then they… uh, stabbed me. It hurt a lot. I was... what's it called, bleeding. I couldn't move jazz anymore. I was on, like, 0.00001 HP. " **You can't escape to your SAVE file. You can't run. You can't move. You can only hold on. But that will get you nowhere. Give up. It's the best choice.** "

I was feeling pretty bacon balls. I couldn't move. I was stuck. Frisk was gonna win. I wasn't determined. I wanted to give up. I'd wanted to give up the whole time. I didn't know what I was doing. **Perhaps… there is still a way?** a voice asked. Not mine. The ACT thingo showed up. I looked at the choices. **Call The Humans** was one of 'em. _I can't win, there's no point_ , I thought. I looked at my SOUL. It wasn't red anymore. It was green. _Kindness. I'm done for._ I wanted to die. But then... but then I saw a tiny, tiny part of me was still holding on... I could just try one more time...

"Help!" I yelled. Whispered, actually. I felt really bacon balls. I couldn't fluffing yell. Too weak.

" **But nobody came** ," Frisk said. " **That's to be expected, isn't it?** " They were gonna kill me, when their souls went all nuts and changing colour. " **Hey! What's going on?!** " Frisk fell on the ground. They looked at me. They looked different.

"Hey!" all the humans but Frisk yelled. "You can stop them!"

"Be patient…" the light blue dude said. They gave me some healing jazz. "No matter happens, just wait. You'll be okay."

"Keep moving!" the orange dude yelled. They gave me healing jazz too. "Keep being brave, okay?!"

"Remember what I said about doing the right thing," the dark blue human said. Healing jazz. "Frisk may not have much, but you can still give them some integrity."

"Persevere," the purple dude said. Healing stuff. "Stay on the lines. You'll live."

"Block anything that comes your way, and remember to be kind... fellow green SOUL." the green human said, giving me food jazz. Everyone was saying what they said before (apart from the green dude).

"Shoot at 'em!" the yellow dude yelled. "Knock 'em down!" More healing jazz. "Justice rules!" I had full HP now.

All the humans yelled, "And _STAY DETERMINED!_ "

"Frisk is losing more control," the purple human said. "If you keep fighting them, they'll have to stop. Then you can win."

"You just need to be patient!" the light blue human said.

"You can't do a lot right now, but whatever happens, don't give up, okay?!" the orange human yelled.

"There's still a glimmer of a good person in them," the dark blue human said. "They can stop if you convince them to stop abusing their determination."

"We all believe in you!" the green human said. "We'll help you the best we can!"

"If you're scared, just do what I'd do!" the yellow human said. "Shoot at 'em!"

"Thanks, dudes. You're all awesome-sauce!" I yelled. Frisk was back.

" **You're still not dead?** " they asked. They looked pretty bacon balls. " **Hmm. If that's the case, I'll have to give you… EVERYTHING.** " Then the attacks got NUTS. All the human's attacks hit me at once. And there were Frisk's knives and jazz coming from everywhere. I didn't know what the fluff was going on. " **I will get my PERFECT ENDING!** " Frisk yelled.

I missed some gun shots and ran away from some weird hands. "You can get your 'perfect ending' if you stop this!"

" **You don't understand, T.D.C!** " Frisk yelled. " **I've waited too long for this. Over THREE YEARS AND FORTY RESETS. I'm going to defeat you.** " They looked away. " **Everyone would be happy if you were dead, after all.** " Attacks were coming from all over the joint. I was getting pretty hurt. " **All your 'friends' will DIE. And it'll be all your fault, whether you like it or not.** " More knives hit me. Some of the humans gave me healing jazz.

" **All your human families will be gone too** ," Frisk said. " **Everyone you love will be gone. And it'll be all your fault. You made them love you, after all.** " More attacks. Then my new green SOUL broke. I fell on the ground, kinda dead. **...** , a voice said. **This isn't what you want. You want a happy ending for everyone. This death… you know it can't be true. In your heart, you know there's more. You may not be a SOUL of determination, but you can still continue... for them.**

"You're still not giving up?" Frisk asked. "Let's see how you stand against THIS." Then all these white things went near me - monster souls, I think - going into Frisk. Then there was this big light.

"Ah holy…" I said. I knew it then: it was The End.


	16. The End

**A/N: Oh boy... this was hard to write. Listen to the song Last Goodbye on the soundtrack for this battle, then His Theme… well, you'll know when to listen to that. These two songs have always seemed like Frisk's themes to me. And, when Frisk is talking in non-bold text during the first part, that's the piano in Last Goodbye. Also, we'll be learning the narrator's name. Their theme is SAVE the world. Alright, enough talking. Enjoy reading!**

* * *

 **~Chapter 15: The End~**

It was the end. I knew it now. Frisk was back, and now they were kinda flying. They looked… like a god, I think. Flowy cloak and all that jazz. _Holy crap_ , I thought.

 **It's the end** , the… narrator, I think, said.

" **The end indeed,** " Frisk said. " **This is gonna hurt a whole lot more.** " It started raining knives that turned into… stars, I think. There were lots of knives and jazz. I ran all over the joint, tryna miss them. Then it was my go. I checked Frisk. **Frisk. ATK: ∞ DF: ∞. The Absolute GOD of DETERMINATION.**

" **You have no chance,** " Frisk said. " **Your RED determination is from me. But there's not much left. Give up.** " They threw these big rainbow thingies on me. They hurt a lot. I was at 1 HP. Frisk threw another thing on me. I died. But… my soul came back together. It turned red for a bit, too. **But it refused** , the narrator said.

"I've got a chance!" I yelled. _Red determination...? What's that?_

" **Why won't you make this easy?** " Frisk asked. " **I'm just trying to make the perfect ending.** " The (other) green SOUL's pan was back. It threw rainbow knives on me. I was down to 10 HP. Frisk was fluffing strong.

"I won't let you win!" I said. _Will I?_ My bag was full of Hopes and Dreams. I hoped. My HP was back. But I was still feeling kinda _ehh_.

" **You can't defeat me,** " Frisk said. " **Why would you want to, BFF? If you keep fighting… you'll get nowhere. This world cares nothing for you. Why do want to save it?** " They threw more knives and jazz at me. Stars were raining from all over the joint.

"I… I've gotta!" I yelled. "I don't even know you, dude!"

" **It's a shame your memory was wiped,** " Frisk said. " **This would've gone much faster.** " The gun was back. It fired rainbows and stars. I kept hoping. Fake-hoping. I was feeling like bacon balls, really.

"'Wiped my memory'?" I asked. "Is that why I can't remember… my memory's fuzzy…"

" **I honestly don't know why that happened,** " Frisk said. " **Was it because my determination overpowered yours?** **Oh well. You'll listen anyway. You're too weak to turn away from helping a stranger.** " Books threw out knives and stars. " **I know what you're really like. You're not determined. You're just a great actor. But inside… you're nothing but a liar. A fake. Trust me… Without me, you would've given up long before you reached Mt. Ebott.** "

"I…" I said. _They're spot on the mark… what they're sayin' now, what they were saying before… I don't even have a red SOUL. It was only red because of them... But I've gotta keep putting on this show. For the world._ "No! I'll keep fighting!"

Frisk looked bacon balls. " **You never learn.** " The weird hands showed up, tryna punch me. Knives were also tryna kill me. I ran all over the place, hoping and dreaming. Fake hoping and dreaming. Frisk's eyes went all glowy, and they… what's the word, disappeared. Then big huge knives came from all over the joint, and so did stars falling from the roof.

"Holy crap!" I yelled. I died again. **But… it… refused**. My SOUL came back together. The ballet shoes were back. But knives and stars were also there, tryna kill me. Cheese balls. Not. I died again. **But….. it….. Refused…..** My SOUL did its thing. Frisk wasn't getting anymore cool beans. It was raining knives. Rainbows were coming from all over the joint. I died. Again. **But…. it….** SOUL thing!

" **You're getting less determined,** " Frisk said. " **You won't be able to survive much longer.** " _Just keep going!_ a thought said. Frisk swung their knife at me. The knife turned into stars that tried to kill me. They did. **But…..** SOUL together. Frisk pulled out two knives and stars came outta them. Then they threw all the stars on me. _Holy crap!_ I thought. I died. **…..refused….** My soul just joined up. Just. I was getting tired.

 _Just keep putting up this show,_ my thoughts said. I didn't know what I was doing anymore. My ATK and DF went to zero. Frisk killed me in, like, one hit. **….** My SOUL came together. It was super bacon balls and weak and jazz. _Act… show…. Facade…._

" **There's no need to act anymore,** " Frisk said. " **Tues… If…."** They looked... normal? "If you give me your SOUL, you won't feel anymore pain. You won't have to suffer knowing everyone you love hates you. You won't have to feel heartbreak. You won't have to be pushed over… and you don't have to be the only one. You don't have to be that pushover with good acting skills - that's the _real_ reason you don't fight or hold grudges, isn't it? But this pain will be no more. I can give you freedom. You can get away from this world. It's all you've ever wanted. All you need to do… is give me your SOUL. And then you'll get _your_ happy ending."

It was… all the jazz I wanted. Frisk really _did_ know me. I wanted to give my SOUL up then. I really did. I felt cheese balls. _I've hated myself for, like, a gazillion years,_ I thought. I _t's been bacon balls… all of it. Holy... this war needs to fluffing stop. And it's gonna stop now._

"You…" I said. "I can't say…" _Holy,_ _It's gonna end._ I felt cheese balls. _Pain's gonna go away… No one needs to hate me anymore. And I can't stop Frisk anyway. They're too strong._

"See?" Frisk asked. "It all works out, doesn't it? **Your friends will hate you anyway… You can die now before they get the chance to do anything."** They winked. **"You are a SOUL of KINDNESS, after all. This is the KINDEST thing you can do in my books."**

"Spot on the mark," I said. I held out my green SOUL. "Frisk… thanks. I'm stupid and bacon balls… you… you're giving me… freedom…" I felt all over the joint. My SOUL dying a gazillion times… Frisk's words… me being me… I knew I needed to give up my SOUL to Frisk.

" **Yes,** " Frisk said. " **Freedom.** " I went near 'em. But… a lil' part of me - my hope and jazz - was holding on. It wouldn't let me let go of my SOUL. Frisk looked at me. " **T.D.C… if you keep holding on, you'll get nowhere. Just accept the defeat. Say it now: I give up.** "

 _They're spot on the mark,_ I thought. _I've gotta do this. There's nothing more._ I looked at Frisk, holding out my soul. "Dude… Holy… I… I g…. I give…" I looked away.

" **When we were combined, I never gave you that chance,** " Frisk said. " **Now you do have that chance. It's true I cannot hold these SOULS forever… but I can reload my SAVE file. I will come back no matter what happens. Just end it now, T.D.C.** "

"Alrighty dite," I said. "I…." I was gonna say it. **You want to say it...** **But is it really want you want?** a voice asked. **You came so far by being determined... and kind. Do you really want to give up so easily? After everything you've been through? If you keep holding on… you will always have a chance. Remember the 6 humans. Remember your friends. Remember they believe in you… even if you don't.**

 _But… I can't stop them!_ I said. _I'm just a bacon balls, weak, pushover human kiddy with a stick. I'm nothing. Frisk's spot on the mark. I didn't feel determined and jazz when they were gone. I can't do this anymore. I can't lie anymore._

 **You don't have to lie** , the voice said. **Lying is not helping anyone. Don't do what your alter ego would do. Do what _you_ would do.**

 _The real me would give up,_ I thought. **You are your alter ego. Just because you are KIND doesn't mean you are weak**. They showed me some pics of my pals. **They are determined that you can win**. And the humans. Some human fams. **Them too. You wouldn't be letting everyone down by holding on. You would be letting everyone down… by giving up. You don't want to let everyone down. THAT is kindness. Doing it for your friends, who mean so much to you.**

" **T.D.C…?** " Frisk asked. " **Everyone's waiting.** " They looked at my soul. I looked at it too. " **It's just one sentence. Just one acceptance.** "

I looked away. "Frisk… thank you for this…." I looked at Frisk. "But… I'm gonna have to say nah. I have too many peeps who want me to win. And the world wants to be saved. That fills me with… **KINDNESS (and determination).** "

" **'Determination'?** " Frisk asked. " **BFF… I am DETERMINATION. I don't care if your 'friends and family' are supporting you. They're forgetting you this very second. They won't care if you die. No one will.** "

I felt a little bacon balls. **There's someone who does care** , the voice said. "Actually, someone'll fluff 'bout it," I said. "You."

" **Don't be stupid,** " Frisk said. They frowned. " **I… don't care. If I did care I wouldn't be here.** " They looked at me. " **I am determined to win! Looks like you're not letting this be easy. It doesn't matter. I can make this hard.** " Stars were coming from all over the joint. Knives too. A few hit me. I hoped and dreamed again. My HP was cool beans. Frisk used some more human attacks. And some rainbows.

"You can't kill me!" I said. I was… now feeling a lil' more determined.

" **You think your - or my - 'determination' will save you,** " Frisk said. " **T.D.C… It'll do nothing for you. Because you _are_ nothing.** " They, what's the word, disappeared. They threw these huge big rainbow knives. The, what's it called, arena broke. My SOUL was hanging out in the broken parts. The knives killed me… **But it refused**. SOUL together! Then Frisk threw a gazillion stars. **But it refused.** They used the human attacks. **But it refused.** They used everything. **But it refused.**

" **You'll give up eventually,** " Frisk said. " **I'm more determined than you. You'll just DIE.** " They threw more jazz at me. But it refused. " **I'll never give up. We'll be stuck fighting FOREVER. But you'll wear out. I'll NEVER wear out.** " They threw more of the humans' attacks at me. **But it refused**.

 _How do I get more determination than this dude?_ I thought. I tried to hit them. I did no damage. They hit me and killed me. **But it refused**. I tried to hit them. No jazz went on. I tried to reach my SAVE file, to reload, do anything. Couldn't. I couldn't do any jazz.

" **You're hopeless,** " Frisk said. " **Hopeless and alone… It doesn't matter if you have determination or 'friends'. You really can't do ANYTHING.** " They threw more stars and rainbows at me. I died. **But it refused**. _What'd I do?_ I thought. _Peeps are backing me up… I'm not giving up… there's gotta be something_. I tried to get to my SAVE file again. I tried to move. Still couldn't do anything. _At least I have more kindness..._

 **Looks like you really can't do anything** , the voice said. **It appears that there is no other choice. It seems Frisk will win after all**. Pause. **But… you know there is more. There has to be, doesn't there? But what could that be? You have the power to absorb human SOULs… if only there was a way to get the human SOULs off of Frisk…**

 _Human souls…?_ I thought. _Wait a sec. I could take the human SOULs and be awesome sauce… but how'd I do that? Frisk's not gonna give up… I can't just take them... and I don't wanna hurt 'em… what'd I do?_ I looked at ACT. _SAVE?_ I thought. _I can't SAVE… Can I? Can I save anything?_ **You wonder if SAVING can help you get the human SOULs. But what could you SAVE? Suddenly, you realize...**

 _My pals!_ I thought. I looked at Frisk's SOUL, and yelled, "Dudes! Mom! Sans! Papyrus! Undyne! Alphys! Asgore! Dudes… you gotta…"

" **What are you doing?!** " Frisk asked. They looked kinda _ehh_. **Within the depths of FRISK'S SOUL, something's resonating!** Light flash. Undyne was there! I fake-hit her. I did, like, no damage this time. My SOUL stayed green.

"All humans will die!" Undyne yelled. The spears were back. I blocked them all... really well. I thought of the other green human, too - hey, they had some cheese balls life tips. I looked at ACT. I knew what to pick.

"Undyne, how'd I cook?" I asked. **She doesn't know why, but she kind of wants to teach you how…**

"You're our real enemy." Undyne said. More spears. I was still cool beans. Then I, uh, what's it called, clashed against her. That got her memories to come back. "Well, some humans are OK, I guess!" I high-fived her. Then it was time for Alphys. She was wearing that dress. My SOUL was yellow. _Shoot! They deserve their justice on a fresh platter!_ The yellow human had said.

"Alphys," I said. "Holy, I believe in you, so don't give up, dude!" **Something about the way you said that is familiar to her…**

"You hate me, don't you?" Alphys asked. Some little Mettatons were thrown at me (I call 'em Mini-tons sometimes). I shot a few. Then I asked Alphys 'bout her fave cartoon. She was cheese balls 'bout that. "I've got to keep lying…" she said. _Nah you don't!_ I thought. I shot some bombs. Then I rang her on my phone. She remembered jazz! "No, that's not true! My friends like me! And I like you, too!" I hugged her... again. Frisk was back. They shot rainbows and knives at me.

"Dudes!" I yelled. I was speaking with all my heart. "My pals! I hope… you're cool beans! Don't die on me! I… No more lying! I really care about you! All monsters! That's why I'm still here, fighting!" **From somewhere, you felt their support…**

" **How pathetically melodramatic!** " Frisk yelled. " **Cry to them all you want! They can't help you!** " **Frisk is feeling odd**. Next up was the skele-bros. My SOUL was dark blue. _Jump!_ The dark blue human had said. _For the sake of the whole world, make Frisk do the thing they're struggling with. And that's the right thing._

"Uh…" I said to Papyrus. "Holy… what's a skeleton's favourite instrument? The trom _bone_!" _The Lost Soul seems to hate it… but the other seems to like it._

"I MUST CAPTURE A HUMAN!" Papyrus yelled.

"just give up. i did." Sans said. They threw some bones at me. I jumped over them. Then I told Sans to take a break. He looked like he wanted to. More jumping. When I got to the light blue bones, I thought of the light blue human. _Be patient… if you wait I'm sure you'll win!_ They had a cheese balls point. When I got to the orange ones, I thought of the orange human. _Nothing will stand in your way! And be brave too, okay?!_ they had said. Thanks humans.

I asked Papyrus for help with a puzzle. The memories were back!

"NO! WAIT! YOU'RE MY FRIEND! I COULD NEVER CAPTURE YOU!" Papyrus said.

"nah, i'm rooting for yah, kid." Sans said. I gave them some hugs. Back to Frisk.

" **You're not helping anyone this way!** " Frisk yelled. " **Give up! NOW!** " **Something is resonating within Frisk's SOUL. Their lip quivers slightly**. I went to SAVE Mom and Asgore. I hugged Mom. **Something about this is so familiar to her…**

"This is for your own good." Mom said.

"Forgive me." Asgore said. They threw fireballs at me. I hugged Asgore. **It seems his aggression is slowly melting away…** They threw more fireballs and jazz. I told Mom I liked cinnamon more than butterscotch. Then I told Asgore I wouldn't hurt him. Their memories came back!

"Your fate is up to you now!" Mom said.

"You are our future!" Asgore said. It was back to Frisk.

" **Stop fighting me!** " they yelled. " **Yield!** " They threw more rainbows and stars and jazz at me. I got a bit hurt. " **This battle is NOT over! It will NEVER be over!** " Their attacks were a bit less bacon balls. " **Why are you doing this, Tues? Why are you still fighting? Did you think SAVING your friends would SAVE the world? Because it won't! This world will DIE, and there is NOTHING you can do about it! I will take your SOUL!** "

 **Frisk is still determined** , the voice said. **Talking and fighting won't change this. But… they are weakened. Something about talking to your friends… changed something within them. You see what you must do to help them. You call out to the human SOULs…**

" **What…** " Frisk yelled. " **What are you doing?! The human SOULs…** " The human souls were taken away from them. " **T.D.C… No, that can't happen! I'm the most determined! How did you…** " I, uh, absorbed them. Kinda hard to… uh… tell how that felt. My HP went past the roof. I felt super awesome sauce and powerful. I was super determined. I was taller, too. And I looked like a god. I felt like a god. My cloak was flowing. There was… a crown, I think, on my head. It had my soul on it. The other souls were on my shirt. My pants were pretty awesome sauce. They had stars and hearts on 'em. My hair was flowing.

"This is impossible!" Frisk yelled. They didn't sound scary anymore."This… how… no! This… I…" They looked away. "I'll just reload my SAVE file!" They looked bacon balls. "I can't reach my SAVE file…" They looked at me. "Well, I still have the monster souls! And my determination! I'm not scared of YOU, Tuesy!"

" **Frisk** ," I said. I sounded godly. " **If you were really my best friend, you would know I HATE that name.** " I looked away. " **Frisk… lemme tell you a few things.** " They tried to hit me. They did, like, no damage. " **Firstly… I dunno who you are. But you're bacon balls. You really need to chill out. What's this cheese balls ending, anyway? Why'd you reset, like, forty times?** "

"You'll never understand!" Frisk said. "DIE!" They tried to hit me. They couldn't. My stick was awesome sauce now. I waved it. Some stars showed up and stopped Frisk from fighting.

" **What were those nightmares?** " I asked. " **Why did you kill everyone?** " Frisk tried to move. Couldn't.

"Genocide run!" they yelled. They frowned. "I just wanted to get a good ending! Mercy never got me anywhere!"

" **Frisk…** " I said. " **You don't need to kill anyone for a cheese balls ending. You don't need to do any of this… You just need help.** "

"NO!" Frisk yelled. "I don't need help! I'm determined!" They frowned. "I…"

" **Frisk, can't you see what you're doing?** " I asked. " **You've got the monster souls… and holy, they have alotta love. So… can't you?** "

"I'll never listen! I won't!" Frisk yelled. They tried to move. Then they stopped and looked at me. "Oh, Tuesy… I thought you would get it."

" **My name is NOT Tuesy,** " I said. " **My name is TUESDAY DI CASTURO. And, as the TRUE PACIFIST, it's my job to defeat you. It's over, Frisk.** " I made all these rainbows and jazz show up.

"No…" Frisk said. They looked pretty _ehh_. "What are you doing?!" I hit them with the rainbows. I felt super powerful doing that jazz. Frisk looked really _ehh_. "No….!" Then there was alotta light. The light went away. I was in a dark room. Frisk was hanging out in front of me, looking bacon balls and weak. They were sitting down.

"Tues… Tuesday…" they said. "You… defeated me. I thought…" They looked away. "Well done. Now, please. Kill me."

"Uh… what?" I asked. I was back to me… but I still had the SOULs.

"Kill me," Frisk said. "You have the power to destroy the barrier. You have the power to destroy me. I don't deserve mercy. Kill me."

"No," I said. "Everyone deserves mercy. Even you."

"I don't!" Frisk said. "Killing me is the only way to restore balance! My SAVE file's gone. I'll be gone for real. So, please… KILL ME."

"Nah," I said. "I don't kill."

"... I don't get it…" Frisk said. They looked away. "Tuesday… it's… it's been a long time since I've felt this way." They started crying. "I… I've done too many horrible things. Forty resets ago, I did a pacifist run. I… was just like you. I had a big heart and a lot of mercy. I freed everyone. I felt… really good about it. But… inside, I felt something was missing. I tried to ignore it… but it was too much. I reset and did another pacifist run. Still felt this way. So I reset again and again, trying something new each run, like killing different monsters. The compassion and mercy I had… slowly melted away.

"Eventually, I did a genocide run. I killed everyone. Friends. Family. Bystanders. I was empty inside. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted that ending. All I had was my determination." Frisk looked away. "But now… after absorbing the monster SOULs… my love… my compassion… it's all come back. I feel regret for every monster I've killed and every reset I've done. I feel regret after what I did to you too, Tuesday. I used you. I manipulated you. I hurt you. I hurt the people you love." Pause. "It's all my fault your human families abandoned you. I controlled you and then… manipulated them. And… then I was horrible to you. I told you all these terrible things to get you to give up your SOUL. Oh, Tuesday… they're all lies. But they must've hurt a lot."

Frisk cried some more. "You're not weak. You're strong. I gave you determination, yes, but it came from you too, not just kindness. And… I must say it. You _are_ loved." They looked away. "Monster SOULs are made up of love, mercy and compassion. In one run, a… friend once absorbed the monster souls. He told me he couldn't explain how it felt. He said… monsters care about each other so much. And… they cared about me, too. I was flattered, honestly, but I didn't understand it. But now... I really do." They cried more. "I can feel their compassion… it's… it's so… beautiful. I can't… Even when I let them go, this feeling will stay with me for a while.

"Tuesday…" Frisk went on. "I wish… I wish I could tell you how your friends feel about you. Papyrus… Sans… Undyne… Alphys… Toriel. It feels like they all really love you, even after not knowing you that long. Heh... Monsters are weird." They paused. "And… truthfully, being combined with you for three years… that… that also made me… feel this way. It made me love you more… even if your memory was erased. Your kindness really hit me. It was awful to put you through all that heartbreak… you don't deserve it. And… going on this journey with you… your excitement… it made me feel like I was here for the first time again. Perhaps that's why I didn't control you more than I had to.

"Well, you picked up some traits from me," Frisk said. "Being a second soul, I used up your energy, which is why you got tired. And why you had high LOVE and EXP… That was my LOVE and EXP from the genocide run. Oh, and why you flirted with people. That was me too. Just… a personality trait. And, uh, all that excess DT."

"... that's a lot to take in," I said. I frowned. "Why'd you make me flirt with people?! I hate dating!"

"Heh, sorry," Frisk said, smiling. They frowned. "Flowey was right. I've been such an idiot. At the end of the genocide run, the First Human - Chara - spoke to me. I erased the world with them. That _still_ wasn't enough. Chara saw this. And… they said there was another option. They said… I could get the best ending this way. They told me you have the power to absorb human SOULs. They told me to let you absorb my SOUL and go to the Underground. When we got to Asgore, we would split up. I'd have the power to temporarily absorb human SOULs. So I'd absorb the human SOULs, take your SOUL so the power would be permanent, take the monster SOULs because Chara told me to... then, with my new power, I would create a whole new ending…

Frisk laughed. "Looks like things went differently. I… I think Chara knew you would defeat me. They were the other kid in the murder dreams, by the way. A little side note. Anyway... I think they wanted to show me… that the best ending is the happy ending, even though it wasn't exactly perfect. But… they wanted to punish me at the same time for being so cruel. They would let you and your friends have the happy ending… but… I…" They looked away. "I would be stuck down here forever."

"What?!" I asked. "Why…? I mean, I'm gonna destroy the barrier. And you've got your SOUL… you should be able to leave when it's destroyed!"

"No, I won't," Frisk said. They looked at their body. "This isn't my real body. This is just… a form created by all the SOUL power. My SOUL alone isn't powerful enough to sustain it. Even with all the monster SOULs it isn't enough, though they'll extend my time in it. So… when I lose this form… I'll become a spirit. A ghost, if you like. And... for Chara's plan to go ahead, they made me agree to stay down here if it failed... which it did."

"Oh, dude…" I said. "That's bacon balls!"

"No," Frisk said. "It's not. I'm happy about it. I don't really care about going to the Surface anymore. I have no one up there anyway. My parents died ages ago. The orphanage is terrible. And, besides…" They smiled. "Chara gave me my happy ending. I get to see all my friends go to the Surface… and you. Your wishes have come true. You get to be with the people who love you. I'd rather see that… than go up myself and never be satisfied."

"Frisk…" I said. "Can't we…"

"It's okay, Tuesday," Frisk said. They looked cheese balls. "You're going to be a great monster ambassador… or Papyrus, if you don't want to be one yourself. Humans won't admit it, but they need the monsters to teach them kindness and compassion - you too, for that matter. Not to survive… but to do the right thing. Absorbing the monster SOULs has taught me that. Once humans stop being afraid, monsters can really help them. And in return, humans can teach monsters all about hoping no matter what…"

"Sounds cheese balls," I said. "But… humans are…"

"Get them to listen," Frisk said. "I know you're not very assertive, but please… try. I'm running out of time. I've still got to say…" They smiled. "Tuesday… please, be yourself. Pretending to be someone you're not won't help anything. You'll just feel worse and worse as time goes on. You told Alphys her friends will support her no matter what. Who's to say you're any different? Remember there are people who love you, even if you hate yourself with all your heart…" They smiled. "They all care about you… they wouldn't want to see you dead. They don't hate you. Quite the opposite. They all believe in you. Everyone does. So… whatever happens, don't give up. If you need to, remember that little song I showed you." They cried. "And… I'm really sorry. You must hate me. You're not the dirty murderer. I am."

"I forgive you," I said. "It's all cool beans." I meant it.

"You're too kind, Tuesday," Frisk said. "What I've done can't be excused." They looked down. "It's time for me to go now. I will release the monster SOULs. And, at the same time, you release the six human SOULs. Then we will shatter the barrier… together. After that, I will be gone. Even if you don't see me again… I'll be supporting you too."

"Holy… Frisk." I said. "I…" I gave Frisk a hug. A big hug. They hugged me back.

"Heh… heh…" Frisk laughed. "I don't want to let go…" They smiled at me. "Thank you, Tuesday. You're the best friend I've ever had. Now, come on. It's time to free our friends." They floated into the air. I did the same. The human souls came outta my body. All the monster souls came outta Frisk. There was power all over the joint. There were monster SOULs everywhere. The human SOULs were in the middle. Then I heard a big _BOOM!_

 **The barrier was destroyed** , a voice said. Then I saw nothing but light.


	17. Memories

**A/N: Play Memory (from the soundtrack) at the song part… Also, this chap's long. And check my DeviantArt for art and jazz.**

* * *

 **~Chapter 16: Memories~**

Younger me was in this super fancy bedroom. I was sitting on this big bed. There was a kid next to me. They were… what's the word, _familiar_. They were wearing that striped shirt I wore. I was wearing fancy jazz. I looked soppy about something.

"Don't be sad, Tuesday," the kid said. "There's still hope. You can't give up after one blow."

"But… I can't do anything, Frisk!" little me said. "They're right. I'm a… I'm… a f… a fai…"

"You're _not_ a failure," the kid said. "We all make mistakes. We just have to stay DETERMINED."

"What does d…. determined mean?" I asked.

"Never giving up." the kid said.

"I'm not determined." I said, looking away.

"Yes you are," said the kid. They smiled. "Don't let people get to you."

"How?" I asked. "I can't do anything."

"Well, even if they're hurting you, you still have people who love you," the kid said. "Like me." They paused. "How about… if you're ever feeling sad… you remember a little song."

They sung, " _If you're feeling lonely and depressed, remember this little tune. It's a memory of your friends; there is always hope. When it's time you'll do what's right, and you'll manage to survive. It's okay to be afraid... it's okay to die. Just remember they're behind you, and they'll always be behind you. It's okay to cry if you're sad, but with friends you'll always feel glad! Remember to strive for the best, if you fail it's not the end. There's always a second chance; we can all be good! Don't forget about who you are; you are a shining star. Memory holds onto the truth, stay determined and don't let it loose! Family is behind you, your heart knows the right way. So no matter what you do, you will be okay…_ "

 _That song!_ I- the real me- thought. _That's the song I played on the piano in Waterfall… That's the song Frisk was talking about! They were the one who showed me it! Holy… that makes me feel…_

The dream went away. I heard Mom asking me to wake up. There was some light... then I woke up. I was in that room before the Barrier. My monster pals were all there. They looked kinda _ehh_.

"Frisk, are you…" I asked. I saw my pals. "Oh, uh, 'sup, dudes!"

"Oh! You are awake!" Mom cried. "Thank goodness! I feared you would not wake up this time."

"W-we were so worried…!" Alphys cried. "It felt like you were out forever!"

"Yeah!" Undyne yelled. "Any longer and I would have freaked out! Tell us next time you decide to take a nap, okay?!"

"yeah," Sans said. "you made papyrus cry like a baby. you were out way longer this time." I shrugged.

"WHAT!" Papyrus yelled. "I DIDN'T CRY! I DON'T CRY! I JUST… CAUGHT SOMETHING IN MY EYE."

"what did you catch?" Sans asked.

"TEARS!" Papyrus said.

"Oops…" I said. "Sorry."

"Now, now," Asgore said. "The important part is that Tuesday is all right. Here, Tuesday. Why not drink some tea? It'll make you feel better."

"Uh… I'm cool beans." I said, kinda _ehh_.

"Err… how about we give them some space, first?" Mom said. "They must be exhausted. Though, from what, I am not certain." She looked at me. "Tuesday… We do not remember exactly what happened. There was… a human child that looked like you…? And then everything went white. But now the Barrier is gone. When you are ready, we will all return to the Surface. It seems the door to the East will lead us there now." She smiled. "But before then… perhaps you might want to take a walk? You can say goodbye to all your wonderful friends. Do as you wish. We will all wait for you here."

"Well… sorry dudes," I said. "I'm gonna be talking to every monster. And posting jazz on the Undernet. So I'll probs take forevsies." My pals were cool beans with that. "I'm gonna start with you dudes." I stopped. "Oh, and you know my name now. Don't call me nicknames like 'Tuesy' or 'Tues' or 'T.D.C'. It's Tuesday. Thanks! You guys are cheese balls." I went over to Mom.

"Hello, Tuesday," she said. "Alphys upgraded my phone. I am having a lot of fun with the 'texting' feature. Sans, 'check out' this one."

"oh man, tori..." Sans said, looking at his phone. "that's brutal."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THE QUEEN HAS RETURNED…" Papyrus said. "AND ALSO THAT SHE'S A HUGE DORK! YOU TWO ARE TWO FEET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! WHY ARE YOU TEXTING!" Mom said she and Sans were texting 'for a good reason'. Sans said they were 'huge dorks'. Then Mom made a bacon balls pun. Oh holy… those dudes are awesome sauce. I went to talk to Sans.

"tuesday, tori was telling me how she made b'scotch pie for you." he said.

"Oh, I should bake it for everyone sometime!" Mom said. Asgore looked _ehh_. Alphys looked cheese balls. Papyrus and Undyne wanted in. Alphys didn't look so cheese balls after that. I went to talk to Papyrus.

"SO, ASGORE…" he said. "HOW ABOUT MAKING ME A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD?" Asgore said they didn't need the Royal Guard anymore. Papyrus wasn't cool beans with that. Oh well. I talked to Undyne.

"So, Alphys…" she said. "What do you wanna do now that we're all free? We have the whole world to explore now."

"W-well, of course I'm going to go out and…" Alphys said. She looked _ehh_. "No, I should be honest! I'm going to stay inside and watch anime like a total loser!"

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" Papyrus yelled. "EVERYONE! A CELEBRATION! TO BEING LOSERS!" The monsters were cheese balls with losing to me.

"That makes me a winner, then," I said. "Bacon balls…" Asgore asked what 'an anime' was. Alphys asked me for help with that question. I told Asgore it was a cartoon with swords. 'Cause… that's anime and jazz. Alphys tried to show him some. She showed him the wrong jazz. Alrighty dite. I went over to Alphys.

"Psst…" she said. "T-Tuesday. Um, you've gotta tell me. D… do you think Asgore and Toriel are…? Uh, ever gonna get back together?"

"Yeah." I said. _But who knows…_ Alphys told me she shipped them. _Tori and Gorey… hmm, I dunno 'bout it anymore. The short nicknames make me feel bacon balls_. I went over to Asgore.

"Howdy, Tuesday," he said. "Sorry about almost trying to take your SOUL. I feel very bad about it. I hope we can still be pals."

"Oh, it's cool beans," I said. I winked. "It's gonna take a lot more than tryna kill me to get me to hate you." I looked at my pals. "Anyway, I'm gonna go see what every other monster's up to. See you dudes 'round. I'll be on the Undernet." I left the throne room. The SAVE points were gone. _It's not my power,_ I thought. _I guess I shouldn't be surprised_. I got to the Hall. I looked at my phone. Mom had sent me a text.

 _Sans and Alphys are teaching me how to text. I am learning so much_ , she texted. _For example, do you know what a 'Smiley' is? Please look at this: ]: ) Now turn your head to the left. It is a picture of me smiling at you! Can you see it? L-O-L! (That stands for 'Lots of Laughter'). Sincerely, Toriel._

I texted, _lol thx Mom its awesome sauce. Btw 'thx' means 'thanks'. Btw btw means 'by the way'_. I went past the city. I got another text. _Dear Tuesday, how are you? You have been wandering around for a little while. I hope you are not getting into trouble. Only kidding. L-O-L! Sincerly, Toriel. P.S- Do not get into trouble._

 _I wont lol_ , I texted. I got to the elevator. Mom told me 'bout a spelling boo-boo she made. She said Sans would be texting now. Sans texted, _hey tuesday. it's torrrrieelllllll. i just baked 100000 pies. do you want any? make sure to brush your teeth before crossing the street, tuesday_

Mom texted, _I did not say any of that_. I went into the lift. _Greetings_ , Mom texted. _This is Sans. I love my brother very much. help im being slandered._ I laughed. I took the lift to the CORE. _This is Sans. Tuesday, did you know that I love to 'get owned'? I also think Toriel is very good and fghfhafsdjgsgh Excuse me._

 _I'll… leave you 2 to it_ , I texted. _I've got peeps to chat to._ Dudes, I'd love to tell you 'bout every monster, but then I'd be here all day. So… I'll just go over a few (and I'm kinda lazy). I spoke to some dudes in the CORE, then I went to the MTT resort thingo. When I got there, I went on the UnderNet. _'SUP UNDERNET!_ I posted. _TUESDAY DI CASTURO IS IN THE HOOOOUUUUSEEE! I'm talking to every monster and taking selfies and jazz. You dudes are probably cheese balls 'bout the Surface… It's kinda bacon balls, tbh. Whatevsies._

I posted a few pics of the CORE, then I spoke to some monsters.

"So we're free, huh?" Burgerpants asked. "Mettaton told us as much. Then he told me, 'don't think that means you're getting out of work early'. Ah… my boss. I love that guy. And by that I mean hate him so, so much."

"Bacon balls, dude." I said. I took more selfies in the MTT Resort and posted them. Then I went over to Bratty and Catty. I took some selfies with them then talked. I told them I was human.

"Oh, oops, really?" Bratty asked. "Uh, well, when we said, um… we were hyped for the destruction of humanity… we were, just, like, joking, you know?"

"Did we say that?" Catty asked.

"Probably?" Bratty asked. "It's, like, practically our catchphrase."

"Really?" Catty asked. "I thought our catchphrase was… B-B-Bratty's the best, C-C-Catty's the coolest!"

"Um, no?" Bratty asked. "We've like literally NEVER said that."

"CAN it be though?!" Catty asked. "CAN it be?!" I laughed. Those two were awesome sauce. After talking with them, I left.

"I'm so excited to sell Nice Cream on the Surface!" the Nice Cream dude cried. "If humans are like you, then…! Then I'll still be able to sell to monsters, I hope."

"You will," I said. "Everyone loves ice-cream! By that I mean _I_ love ice-cream. And everyone else does too, I think." I posted, _lol found the Nice Cream dude. Bacon balls still no ice-cream :( Whatever I can get the human stuff. The human stuff is cheese balls_. I passed the places where Mettaton's shows were. I posted, _passed the places where Mettaton's shows were._ I got to Muffet's.

"Bonjour, dearie~" she said. "I just finished tallying up all of our donations! We've finally raised enough to rescue all the spiders inside the Ruins. And we'll also be able to afford…! A spider football stadium. We'll play with 4 balls on the field at once."

"Awesome sauce," I said. "Tell me if you play baseball. That sport's cheese balls." I left after that. I smiled at them, then left. _At Hotland!_ I posted. _It's hooootttt here bacon balls -_- I hope the Surface isn't too hot lol XD_. I went over a few vents and talked to some more peeps. I found Tsunderplane.

"A-ah… H-human… you're leaving?" they asked. "I have… something to say to you. Admittedly, I may have had limerent feelings for you before. However, upon examining my own actions, I now realize… I did not love YOU. I was merely infatuated with the CONCEPT of love. The idea of romance, the concept of sharing affection with another… through these desires, I built a false concept of you in my head. Such a relationship would not have ended well. In closing, I believe it is better that I chose to say nothing." They blushed. "Y… you i-idiot."

"I don't even _like_ love," I said. "So… sorry, dude. I wasn't in love with you either." I left after that. I posted, _holy crap I don't like love anymore. Its a long story… but I changed… I never liked any of you. Romantically I mean! Uh… bye._ More talking to peeps, blah blah.

I got to Waterfall. I sussed my phone. Mom had said my pals were cheese balls. They are! And she said Undyne had lifted everyone up… and couldn't put 'em down.

 _Would pay to see that,_ I texted. I posted on the UnderNet, _YES AT WATERFALL I LOVE THIS JOINT!_ I took a gazillion selfies and posted those. All my pals were liking them. Then I went to the Temmie Village. Sorry auto-correct.

"woa… tem hear news… VERY GOODS!" a Temmie said.

This Temmie named Bob said, "A pleasing development, no?" I laughed. Gotta love Temmies. Then I left Temmie Village and talked to Gerson, this dude who worked at this store. I got some goss on Mom and Asgore. I hate goss. I went past him and came to Napstablook's joint. Mettaton was there too. He was his…. Mettaton EX form, I think it's called. Napstablook was there too.

"Human… I'll never forget when you cheered me on…" Napstablook said. "When I was pretending to sleep… no one had ever had so much faith in my fake sleep… uh…. Also…. this is awkward… but…. what's…. your name? Everyone seems to know it now, except me…. Seems like I've been missing out lately. I was just sitting at home, listening to tunes…. There was a flash of light outside my window. I saw the snails on the farm disappear… then I heard a knock at the door. The flash of light wanted to come in… I closed the blinds… now everyone knows your name except for me…"

"It's all cool beans," I said. "My name is Tuesday. Like the weekday."

"'Tuesday….'" Napstablook said. "Okay, I won't forget it." I went over to Mettaton.

"There you are, Tuesday-darling," Mettaton said. "Feast your eyes! Dr. Alphys completed my wonderful new body."

"Lookin' awesome sauce!" I said, smiling.

"Ooh!" Mettaton cried. "Did you hear? The Barrier's OPEN! I can't wait to see the sun… the greatest spotlight of all!" Pause. "Oh yes. I suppose I should thank you too, darling. Before fighting you, I had… forgotten how fun it was to perform with others. So I've been searching for HOT TALENTS to fill up my upcoming troupe. So far, Shyren's agreed to be my back-up singer. And Bl… Napstablook, here, will be my sound mixer! The three of us performing together… it really feels overdue, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does." I said. "Hey, wanna take a selfie?"

"Oh, sure, darling!" Mettaton said. He made a pose. I did too. I took a pic and smiled.

"Thanks, Mettaton," I said. "See you later." I posted the pic on the UnderNet. _Just found Mettaton XD it's all cool beans. If he's performing on the Surface I want in… kinda… sorta…_ I left and went to Undyne's house. It was still on fire. Mad Dummy was hanging out there.

"So, you helped get us all free…" Mad Dummy said. "I guess that means I really acted like a dummy to you."

"It's cool beans," I said. "Everyone's pretty sorry 'bout tryna kill me, so you're not alone." I left that joint and came to the Garbage Dump. I ate some space-dude food. It was… weird. I like it! I like all foods… well _almost_ all foods. I went past some more junk. I took another selfie. _At the garbage dump. Also some joint that's cheese balls_. I talked to Woshua.

"Don't drag your dirty feet in here," they said. "I just cleaned this trash!"

"Cheese balls job with that." I said. I left the Garbage Dump. I came back to that joint that looked like an aquarium. I did some sussing out and went to that joint where Onionsan was.

"Did y'hear?" Onionsan asked. "You're back! I'll tell you a big secret. I'm starting a band, y'hear? It's called the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. All I've thought of is the name. And I don't, play… instruments, or sing. Well! Do you think we'll be popular!"

"Yeah." I said. _No._

"Yeah, me too." Onionsan said, looking all cheesy. I left that place and found Shyren and her sister.

"It's good to be with my sister again." Shyren's sister - Lemon Bread - said. Her words were all over the joint. "Part of me wants to see my new 'brother' Aaron. But most other parts of me… don't." _Bacon balls to be you_ , I thought. I went past that piano and music box. _Family is behind you, your heart knows the right way. So no matter what you do, you will be okay…_ The song played in my head. I smiled and went past. I went past the place where it was raining. Aaron was near some umbrellas.

"First ghosts, are real, now anime's real :)," Aaron said. "All my nightmares are true :)."

"Yeah… anime's... real." I said. I posted, _whoo still in Waterfall. SO PRETTY HERE_. I walked past that view where you can see the castle. I took a pic of that and posted, _soooo preetttyyy XD_.

I did some more walking and posting stuff. I got to the end after a bit. I posted, _bye Waterfall going to Snowdin now_. I got to Snowdin. _At_ _Snowdin!_ I posted. _It's cooolllldddd here bacon balls -_- I hope the Surface isn't too cold lol XD_

I talked to a few peeps there.

"(All of our parents have been combined into one horrible being.)" Dogaressa said. "(That's okay, though.) (It's really 'brought our families together'.)"

"Hmm, now that our parents are the same entity…" Dogamy said. "Does that mean I'm married to my sister?" Pause. "Wait, we're dogs. That stuff's normal."

"Uh… cheese balls." I said. I spoke to some peeps in the library. They were cool beans. Then I went into Grillby's and spoke to some more peeps.

"... good job." Grillby said. There you go. Lesser Dog won a game of poker… uh… against itself? I went outside. I found Monster Kid near this Christmas tree. I _think_ it was an Xmas tree.

"Yo!" he said. "What's up? I've been kinda, doing some thinking… Maybe Undyne… Isn't actually as cool as we thought.

"What?!" I asked.

"She's just kinda… mean." Monster Kid said. _Noooo!_ I thought. _First Alphys with Mettaton, Frisk being my BFF and tryna kill me, now Undyne?! I'm so… so… uh… I dunno what the word is._ "But YO!" Monster Kid said. "I just found out about someone WAYYY cooler! Nyeh heh heh!"

"Oh holy…" I said. "Well, awesome sauce for you, dude. But… I'm just gonna skip the role-models for now." I talked to a few more peeps.

"That kid over there told me that it's weird I have a pet bunny," the bunny lady with a bunny on a leash said. "First, there'd be nothing weird about it. It's cute! Second… what? It's normal to walk your younger brother on a leash, right?"

"Uh…. yeah…..?" I said. "I'm…. gonna…. go… now…" I posted, _going to the forest thingo now_. I went into the forest. I went past some of Papyrus' puzzles, took some selfies, talked to some peeps.

"Ha!" Ice Cap said. "After all this time, you're still thinking about my hat!" Pause. I was like, _nah_. "...please?"

"Oh, alright..." I said. I walked a bit. I posted, _getting near the Ruins_.

"Ah… I can feel that piece of me has been well taken care of." the snowman said.

"The barrier's open," I said. "Wanted you to know."

"Hmm…? The barrier's opened up?" the snowman asked. "Hmm… then, if it's not too much to ask… could you take that piece of me to the Surface? I would really appreciate it."

"On it." I said. I walked a bit more. I found Snowdrake and his fam.

"Mom might have to share her mind with other people now, but she's still my mom," Snowdrake said. "And that's 'cool!' 'Cause, uh, we're made of ice and stuff. WHAT?! IT'S A JOKE! LAUGH at it!"

I laughed. Kinda. Sorta. I got to that gate near the Ruins.

I posted, _at the Ruins!_ I took a selfie. I went past the place where I fought Mom. I went past all the hallways. _Scary hallways XD_ , I posted. And... I took a selfie. I got back to Mom's house. I looked around a bit. I found a mirror.

 **This time it's just you, Tuesday** , some voice said. _That's gotta be cheese balls_ , I thought. I left Mom's joint and sussed out the Ruins. I posted, _sussing things out now. Yknow it feels like forevsies since I've been to the Surface_. It was… pretty true. That jazz with the brochures and eating that weird chicken on the streets… it felt like years and years ago. Being scared of monsters did too. And the Di Casturoes felt like another life… That goes for all my human fams.

"Ribbit, ribbit," a Froggit said. "(Seems like the Ruins have finally opened up.) (Maybe we should finally go out to the rest of the Underground.)"

"The Barrier's open." I said.

"(Huh? The barrier's open too…?)" the Froggit said, frowning. "(... let's just take this one step at a time, okay?)"

"Take your time." I said. I walked a bit more. I went past some puzzles. I found the Spider Bake Sale. I gave some of my cash. _Gotta donate_ , I posted, taking another selfie. Then I found those rocks.

"The exit's open?" a rock asked. "Guess I better roll out… Hey, y'mind giving me a push, pumpkin?"

"Maybe… later." I said. I left. I did some more walking/talking, selfies, blah blah. I got to the joint where I first saw Flowey. _Flowey!_ I thought. _What happened to him? Did Frisk do something to him…?_ I walked past that. I got to the joint where I fell down. There were golden flowers. _I thought this was a mine?!_ I thought. _It's more like a cave! Wait…_ Frisk was also there. They looked like themself. I went up to them.

"Don't worry about me," Frisk said. "Someone has to take care of these flowers." They paused. "Asriel told me that many times. And, 'Frisk… don't you have anything better to do?' I just wanted to SAVE him. Oh… Poor Asriel. I took this all away from him."

"Asriel…?" I asked. "The King's kid?"

"Yes," Frisk said. "And… well, he's a little more than that. He's… well… this is gonna sound crazy, but he's Flowey."

"What?!" I yelled.

"Yes, Asriel and Flowey are the same entity," Frisk said. "When Asriel died, his dust spread across the castle's garden. Golden flowers grew there. Alphys injected the first golden flower with determination. And so, Flowey came to life."

"Oh…" I said. "So… Alphys made Flowey? Holy crap! That monster's been hiding a ton."

"You can see why she was a liar," Frisk said. "Anyway, Flowey lacked the power to love other people. He blamed himself for what happened with he and Chara dying… and adopted that viewpoint, 'kill or be killed'. That's why he was evil. In my timeline, he was the final boss. He became a god through all the monster's and 6 human souls. He just wanted to reset everything. But I stayed determined and defeated him. And we broke the barrier."

"So… what happened to him?" I asked. "In… er, this timeline?"

Frisk looked soppy. "He tried to stop my plan, because it would ruin his. This caused us to have a fight. Let's just say… things didn't work out for Flowey." They frowned. "I took his ending away from him. I changed the timeline and made it about _me_. Actually… it always was my timeline. You're in my timeline. Most of the things that happened to you… happened to me. But the ending was different. That was the purpose of you being here.

Frisk smiled, "And I got my ending. You got yours, too. It's a win-win after all. Though, truthfully…" They frowned. "I was hoping you'd kill Flowey. I gave you some murderous thoughts - they popped up a few times before, actually - but they did nothing. Oh, whatever. Your love is greater than your LOVE. Not even I can change that. I guess in a way your kindness surpassed my determination."

"So… Flowey's dead?" I asked. "Bacon balls. I didn't like him… but even he deserves mercy."

"Oh, Tuesday," Frisk said. "Everyone deserves mercy." They frowned. "I wish I knew that before. I'm sorry I plagued you with all those terrible nightmares and visions of me killing your monster friends. I'm sorry I was a scary voice in your head. I was only trying to scare you into doing what I wanted. It's hard to forgive a human like… no, I'm not worthy to be called that. It's hard to forgive... a murderer like me. But somehow you manage to do it. I wish I could be like that again."

"Just don't hate peeps," I said. "And believe in others."

"I was like that," Frisk said. "Maybe greed and power pulled me down the wrong path. That... is very human…" They frowned. "Hey, Tuesday. Be careful around other humans. I know what I said about monsters helping them… but some people never change. There are still some humans who will be… determined about their… evilness. They'll want to hurt others. Out of anger, fear, greed. Who knows? Just be careful. Not every pair of brothers are the Di Casturoes and not every big sister is Maya Fennix."

"Got it." I said. _Not the human fams!_

"You're lucky they're nice humans," Frisk said. They looked away. "The humans at the orphanage weren't like that." Pause. "Chara… hated humanity. I can see why. Anyone can. But not every human is bad. And not every human is good. Be careful."

"Do you... hate humans?" I asked.

Frisk went kinda quiet. "No," they said after a bit. "Like I said, they're not all bad. They're tolerable enough for me to have wanted to return to the Surface. There are humans like you, Tuesday, as well as the bad ones. Don't lose hope in humanity. It can never be completely cured… but it can be made better." They frowned. "And… remember, determination is not always good. It helps people become… murderers. Like me. Because of my determination, I reset forty times and killed all my friends. And then I erased the world." They paused. "Of course, I was starting to lose my head a bit. But, still…" They sighed. "Typical humans have limits… even with determination. So... be careful."

"Alrighty dite." I said, feeling _ehh_. "Hey… that song. Y'know... _if you're feeling lonely and depressed, remember this little tune. It's a memory of your friends; there is always hope._ "

" _When it's time you'll do what's right, and you'll manage to survive..._ " Frisk sung. "I gave you a good dream. You deserve it after what you've been through. It's my last message to you, BFF. It's a sorry from me for being such a terrible friend." They smiled. "Wait! I have something else, too. It's… a late birthday gift." They pulled out a gift and gave it to me. "It's not very exciting… but the Di Casturoes didn't do much better. I hope you like it." I opened the gift. It was a shirt. A different one. It was a green-and-red-striped shirt. I also got a baseball cap with the words _the Diggers of '98_.

"Frisk…" I said. "Holy cheese balls…"

"You can't wear that silly sweater you're wearing now," Frisk said. "You don't need to look like me. And… do you really wanna wear something that makes you feel upset? The Di Casturoes gave you heartache, I know." They looked at the cap. "Oh, and because you love baseball! I was gonna get you something ice-cream related, but… I couldn't find anything. And the ice-cream's all sold out. So… enjoy it."

"Frisk…" I said. "HOLY CRAP!" I yelled. "This is cheese balls." I put the shirt and baseball cap on. I looked fabo. I took a selfie and posted, _new style!_ "Thanks, dude!"

"Don't thank me," Frisk said, looking down. "This can't make up for everything I've done. I'm even worse than Flowey, and I've got a SOUL." They looked at me. "Now leave. Go back to your friends. Don't be here with me anymore. Just let me be a… memory. Someone who was once your friend. Like that song I showed you. That song… that song will be your memory of me."

"Frisk…" I said. I frowned. "Can't we just build you a body? Like... with Mettaton?"

"Even if you did, I'm stuck here," Frisk said. "And… like I said, I don't want to go back. I don't deserve that." They smiled at me. "Hey, Tuesday. If you're having problems with your self-esteem, nightmares, or so forth… it's okay to ask your friends for help. That's what they're there for! So don't try to run away or pretend you don't care. Let's face it: you're not really independent. You try to be… and you end up hurting yourself and others. So… it's okay to ask your friends for help."

"It's hard to be honest…" I said. I shrugged. "I'll try."

"Just promise me a few things," Frisk said, looking at me. "One: when you see your friends… be honest. Tell them your problems. I know that'll be hard… but they'll be happy to help. Two: be assertive. Undyne can help with that. You'll need to be if you want to be a monster ambassador. Three: apologize to everyone for me. I'd… really appreciate it."

"I, uh, I'll see what I can do." I said, feeling _ehh_.

"Thank you, Tuesday," Frisk said, hugging me. "I'll be down here if you ever need to talk again… but just as a memory. Now, go back to your friends. They're probably eager to see the Surface."

"Alrighty dite," I said. I felt weird. "Bye, Frisk." I started walking away.

"Goodbye," Frisk said. They cried, "Wait! If any of your human families hate you… it's my fault. So… blame me. You can be honest about that if you want. Secondly... if you can't believe in yourself, believe in others. And…" They smiled. "Change your last name. Tuesday Di Casturo? Tuesday, Darius and Corey are so last year. Or whenever you saw them last. Point is, change your last name. Make it… Dreemurr. Tuesday Dreemurr."

"Oh… alrighty dite." I said. "Thanks, Frisk." I stopped. "Wait! I gotta give you something." I got out that necklace jazz. Frisk laughed.

"No, Tuesday," they said. "I don't deserve that. I'm not your best friend. You have many more friends who deserve that honour far more than me. I'm just a memory."

"Frisk... dude... holy..." I said. "But you..."

"I don't deserve it," Frisk said, looking at me. "Please... you forgiving me is more than enough of a gift. You'll just make me cry again."

"Alrighty dite, if you say," I said, feeling soppy. "But... I dunno who my BFF is. Do you know?"

"That'll come to you in time, like your ringtone." Frisk said. "Now, please. Leave." They looked away. I said see-ya, then left myself. I went all the way back to see my pals. _Going back to friends at Asgore's_ , I posted. _#FREEDOM_. And then I started crying. _Bacon balls, Frisk…_


	18. Home is where the heart is (END)

**A/N: Last chapter… *cries* Dammit. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I did writing it. Little Tuesday finally gets their happy ending. They're my all-time fave OC now. They're adorable!**

 **Now, news. I was originally going to write a sequel for this story,** **but then I got an idea for a whole new Undertale fic. I won't spoil too much, but it's about one of the human SOULS. I have a feeling it's going to be better than this story. Okay, that's all for now. Happy reading! :)**

* * *

 **~Chapter 17: Home is where the heart is~**

One trip later, blah blah, and I was back at Asgore's joint. I felt… weird. I felt soppy for Frisk, who couldn't leave. I felt… mixed 'bout the Surface jazz. It felt like a gazillion years since I'd been there. _How long have I been down here?_ I thought. _And who am I gonna give that BFF thingo to?_ I paused. _What's gonna happen on the Surface?_ I paused. _They'll dump me, won't they? That always happens… wait…_ I thought about Frisk's promise. _Um… telling the truth? Maybe later._

"Holy crap. Let's go to the Surface." I said. I went past that gate. I got to the end, where the Barrier was. There was some grass there that I first met Flowey on. Then there was a purple gate. The exit. I went up to it.

 **If you leave here, your adventure will really be over** , some voice said. Chara, I think. **Your friends will follow you out of the Underground**. No dudes were looking. I cried a bit. Soppy crying. Then I stopped.

"I'm ready." I said. There was this big flash of light. Then I was on the Surface. The sun was there. I could see a city. There were clouds and jazz too. _It's been awhile_ , I thought. All my pals were there too.

"Oh my…" Mom said.

"Isn't it beautiful, everyone?" Asgore asked.

"Wow…" Alphys said. "It's e-even better than on TV. WAY better! Better than I ever imagined!"

"Tuesday, you LIVE with this?!" Undyne yelled. "The sunlight is so nice… and the air is so fresh! I really feel alive!"

"Uh… yeah, totes." I said. _Wait 'till you see the garbage. That's my living jazz_. "There's lots of cheese balls joints you dudes need to see! Deserts. The ocean. Antarctica. Countries. Ice-cream joints. Yankee Stadium. There's so much! There's a lot I wanna see myself. Like Yankee Stadium and ice-cream joints."

"Yankee Stadium…?" Alphys asked.

"Baseball joint," I said. "In this joint called New York City. I've always wanted to go there. And ice-cream joints."

"HEY SANS…" Papyrus asked. "WHAT'S THAT GIANT BALL?"

"we call that 'the sun', my friend." Sans said.

"THAT'S THE SUN?! WOWIE!" Papyrus cried. "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY MEETING THE SUN!" _Here comes the sun_ , I sung in my head.

"I could stand here and watch this for hours..." Asgore said.

"Yes, it is beautiful, is it not?" Mom asked. _Wait 'till you see the moon_ , I thought. "But we should really think about what comes next."

"Oh, right," Asgore said. "Everyone… this is the beginning of a bright new future. An era of peace between humans and monsters." _Uh… won't the humans be like, holy freaking crap monsters! But… Frisk said some jazz 'bout monsters 'helping' humans or something… right?_ "Tuesday… I have something to ask of you."

"Yeah?" I said. I felt _ehh_.

"Will you act as our ambassador to the humans?" Asgore asked.

"HOLY CRAP!" I yelled. I shrugged. "Yeah, that'd be cool beans. I'll be the ambassador." _Why did you say that? I'll be bacon balls at it..._

"YEAH!" Papyrus said. "TUESDAY WILL BE THE BEST AMBASSADOR!" _No I won't_ , I thought. "AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS… WILL BE THE BEST MASCOT! I'LL GO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION!" He ran off.

"welp," Sans said. "someone's gotta keep him from getting into trouble. see you guys." He left a different way.

"Man, do I have to do EVERYTHING?" Undyne asked. "Papyrus, wait!" She ran off after Papyrus.

"Hey, Undyne!" Alphys said. "Wait up!" She left too.

"Whoops," Asgore said. Pause. He looked at Mom and I. "Uh, should I do something?" Mom gave him a look. "Well, gotta go!" He left. It was just Mom and I.

"It seems that everyone is quite eager to set off." Mom said. _Not me_ , I thought. But I didn't say jazz. I didn't know what to say. Mom looked at me. "Tuesday… you came from this world, right…?"

"Yeah." I said.

"So you must have a place to return to, do you not?" Mom asked. "What will you do now?" I didn't know what to say… again. I thought 'bout it: I didn't really 'have a place to return to'. It'd be the streets. Or some jazz.

"Hey…" I heard some dude behind me. "If you want to, you can try and go back with your human families. Your real parents, if you like. You're not with me anymore, Tuesday. You're yourself. But… do what your heart wants. Okay?"

"Frisk…?" I asked. No dudes said anything. _Frisk!_

"Pardon?" Mom asked. _Didn't you hear 'em?_

I looked away. "Oh, nothing. Just… thinking 'bout… a memory." I didn't know what to do. If I lived with Mom… I thought I'd get dumped. I'd felt that… cheese balls feeling with all my human fams. The lady and her boyfriends. Maya Fennix and her bacon balls step-family. The Di Casturo bros and their weird ways. The Bakers and their cheese balls pets. And my real family. My rich fam. And my old bestie, Frisk. I'd felt so cheese balls… why'd it have to end? What would I do if the monsters dumped me too? I knew Frisk wasn't there anymore, but what if… what if I did something bacon balls?

 _They're gonna dump me_ , I thought. _I should drink that chloroform when I'm done this ambassador stuff._

 _But…._ I thought. _But. What if… I tried? Just for a bit? My heart likes these dudes… I've gotta go with it…_ I looked at the sun. _It's a cheese balls day. I've got a new baseball cap and shirt. I've got nowhere else. No one else. I'm the ambassador. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna stay._

"I wanna stay with you." I said to Mom. _I've got nowhere else._

"What?" Mom asked, looking _ehh_. Bacon balls. "Tuesday… you really are a funny child. If you had said that earlier, none of this would have happened. It is a good thing you took so long to change your mind. Hee hee hee." Pause. "Well… I suppose. If you really do not have any other place to go… I will do my best to take care of you, for as long as you need. All right?"

"Cool beans." I said.

"Now, come along," Mom said. "Everyone is waiting for us!" She held my hand and led me off the mountain. And that, dudes and ladies, is the end. Of my adventure. Underground adventure. My Surface one? Nah, that's not over. But my Underground one? Done. Now I've got a lot to say. A lot. 'Bout what's going on with the monsters, me, the humans, blah blah. And my feelings and jazz. Alrighty dite. Get your popcorn back out. This is gonna be a nuts ride.

So, the humans were kinda scared of the monsters at first (I mean, some peeps wouldn't leave their houses for ages). Some were kinda bacon balls about them. Others were cool beans. Humans, y'know. I mean, I was scared too when I first saw monsters. But, after some talking and jazz, we got some new houses and stuff for the monsters. A growing city, I think. Asgore called it 'Newer Home'. Cheese balls name, Asgore. Not. I was gonna talk 'bout the humans/monsters jazz for ages, but you're probably tired of me. Maybe I'll do it some other time.

Anyway, the monsters live in Newer Home. And me too. Other humans can come hang and live here if they want. And monsters can hang with all the humans. Not many humans come. Well, apart from these… what's the word, _important_ dudes. Like the president and all that. Sometimes I have to go to bacon balls meetings and jazz. Holy. Those things are… what's the word… BORING. But hey, I'm the monster ambassador. Gotta do that jazz. Asgore does too, 'cause he's the king.

So, uh, yeah. I'll talk 'bout the monsters. Well, not all. I'd love to, but it'd take a gazillion years. So we'll go over a few. Let's start with… the Amalgamates! They still live with their fams. Cheese balls. All the dogs are cool beans. Tsunderplane 'confessed their feelings'. Or I've heard. Snowdrake's a 'semi-successful comedian'. Whimsun's getting stronger. Ice Cap thinks 'bout its hat all the time. Muffet has a new bakery. Haven't been there. Migosp's flowing with its river. Dogamy and Dogressa are the 'No. 1 Nose Nuzzle Champions'. Ugh. Woshua's a 'legendary janitor'. Aaron is a 'paranormal investigator'. The Royal Guards are doing their jazz. And Temmie... is Temmie.

Mettaton! Mettaton's a TV star. He, Shyren and Napstablook. They're out being awesome-sauce and performing. I dunno who watches 'em. I do. Sometimes I take selfies with 'em and go on their show. I'm a cheese balls actor. Mettaton's starting some new show, and I'm gonna be in it, I think. It's called, _Drama With A Killer Robot_.

The Nice Cream Guy! He sells Nice Cream. I buy half his jazz… when Mom isn't looking. Gotta love ice-cream. Undyne! She and Alphys are dating, I think. They kiss. On the beach. There's a beach. I don't wanna talk 'bout that cheesy jazz. Undyne also throws spears and does other stuff. She's cool beans. She's the gym teacher at Mom's school. She can do alotta nuts stuff. I keep asking if we can do baseball. She said it 'sucks'. It does not! Baseball's awesome sauce!

Alphys still watches anime. I finally watched _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ with her. I stayed over at her joint and we binged the first season. I've had a few… adventures with Alphys. Some are kinda _holy crap!_ and I won't talk about 'em here. But we've had cheese balls times. Mew Mew Kissy Cutie… is uh… I dunno what to say. I don't wanna be bacon balls, but it's… um… a bit… boring. Sorry Alphys. But it was cheese balls to eat frozen yogurt in my PJs with you.

Asgore's still the king, I guess. He does king stuff. Like… being the monster's 'government' or whatever. Mom helps. But she hasn't gotten back with him… yet. Asgore's sort of… fluffed up with some stuff. He kinda lives on Undyne's couch, tryna sort out what he wants to do. Sorry dude. He's the, what's it called, gardener for Mom's school (we'll get back to the school in just a sec). He turned a hedge into Papyrus' face.

Monster Kid! He's my new pal. He goes to Mom's school too. And his sister. He has no arms, so it's kinda hard for him. Holy crap, dude. I dunno how you'd live with no arms. I help him out a bit. He came over for dinner this one time. Papyrus was making spaghetti… and you, like, need a fork for that. So… yeah, it was kinda weird feeding Monster Kid spaghetti. Maybe next time we'll have pizza. Or something.

Mom's new school! I go to school now. So do other monster and human kids. Mom wanted to be a teacher, so she's one now. School's… meh. I don't like it a lot. The work's kinda bacon balls. And I get bacon balls grades. I'm bacon balls at everything in school. This stuff you're reading? I needed my human friend Jessie to help me type it. She's smart. And she has, like, 5 siblings. Holy crap. I won't talk 'bout her now. She's another story.

Mom herself! Mom's awesome-sauce. We live in the same joint. It's a cheese balls house, like her one in the underground. She makes cheese balls food. I tried some of her snail pie. I liked it. 'Cause it's me. But the b'scotch one's way more cheese balls. And Mom's a cheese balls mom. She sometimes helps me with homework and jazz. And she makes me do homework and jazz. And not stay up late. When I'm with Alphys and/or Undyne, they let me stay up all night, even if Mom's like, _put Tuesday to bed at 8!_ That's why Mom isn't too cool beans with me staying with them. Lots of jazz goes on when I do. Like setting stuff on fire. Mom is more cool beans if I sleepover with Sans and Papyrus.

Oh yeah, the skele-bros! Yeah, they're cool beans, too. They live, like, not too far from Mom and I. I can walk to their joint. I go over there a lot. They come over a lot. So do Undyne and Alphys, but 'cause they don't live as close, not as much. Anyway. Sans and Papyrus are cool beans! Sans isn't, what's the word, that different from when I first saw him. He flows with his river. He tells bacon balls puns. He drinks ketchup. And he goes to New Grillby's. I go there with him sometimes. We're both kinda… what's the word, _aware_ of resets and jazz. But I can't reset and SAVE anymore. That's Frisk's thing. But I can still take human souls.

Papyrus drives. He drives a car. He drives this red car. I heard it took alotta driving lessons. I also heard all the humans were too scared to teach him. Well, y'know, that's humans. But, somehow, Papyrus learnt how to drive. He drives 'round. But he can't drive as fast as Sans can ride a bike. He gets bacon balls 'bout that. But, hey, he's still awesome sauce. Well, he hasn't gotten cheese balls at cooking yet. Undyne still gives him, what're they called, lessons or whatever. She gives me them too. Now that Frisk is gone I'm cheese balls at cooking. Yay...?

That's those two. Alrighty dite. It's time to talk 'bout the most bacon balls peep in this story. The one I hate. The one that's… just bacon balls. The one that I have, like, probs with. That's right. I'm talking 'bout me.

So, like I said, I'm bacon balls at school. I needed Jessie and her siblings to help me with this jazz. I know I don't like help, but this would be bacon balls without it. I'm not a… uh… writer, I think it's called. Jessie put in some words and edited some jazz. She helped me type it. She's awesome sauce. She helped me get what everyone was saying to me. Y'know that… prologue (I dunno what a prologue is)? Jessie wrote that. With some help from Frisk, who I go and see sometimes. Cheese balls to them.

And, 'cause my memory is bacon balls, I had to ask peeps what they said to me when I was fighting 'em. It took alotta work. Jessie called it 'interviewing'. I'm such a bacon balls writer. I owe a lot to Jessie. She's so awesome sauce. Big huge shout out to her. And Frisk, too.

But why did I write this jazz? Well, peeps keep asking me what happened when I was underground. It's a long story, holy crap. I don't wanna tell it a gazillion times. So I just show 'em this story. And also, it's like… a memory, I guess. Of when I was underground.

Now, some jazz 'bout me. My name's Tuesday Edward Dreemurr, 'sup? I play baseball, the only sport I find cheese balls. I'm bacon balls at all other sports. I'm learning guitar - I'm getting pretty cheese balls at it… kinda. I can play Mary Had A Little Lamb, and Frisk's song. Y'know, Memory or whatever it's called. I like acting. Sorta. I'm bacon balls at school jazz. I'm failing everything. Awesome sauce.

I still haven't told my pals 'the truth'. Y'know, the self-love stuff. My families dumping me. Frisk. It's 'cause… I'm scared. I'm a… what is it, a coward. A 'doormat'. I get bullied by other human kids and I'm too weak to do anything about it. I don't tell anyone about it either. I let peeps use me. I won't fight back 'cause I'm scared. I can't… what's the word… forgive myself for this. The only thing I do… is write all my jazz in a diary. My diary is just me bullying myself. And I still haven't given that necklace thing to someone yet. Cheese balls.

But I don't want help. I'm too scared to ask for help. I'm too scared to do anything. The only person who knows my probs is Frisk. But they're just a memory. I know one day I'll tell the truth… but I dunno when. It feels like never.

Whatever, we're done with that. I just wanna say a big fluffing holy crapping THANK YOU to everyone! Monsters, humans, plants, dinosaurs, whoever. You are all AWESOME SAUCE! What'd I be without you? You've helped me a lot. I feel… a bit less scared now. Not totally. A bit. Whatever. Shout out to every monster! And shout out to all the cheese balls humans. And the ones who wanna be cheese balls. Thanks. You guys are awesome sauce.

And, to you! Shout out to you, person reading this! I'm pretty sure you're like, _is this kid done yet?_ But I really like that you read the whole thing. It means you care. So thanks. From all my heart. I hoped you liked reading it. And, remember… wait, hold on a sec, someone's at the door.

"Tuesday?" it's Mom. "You have been in there all day. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm cool beans." I say. "Just been, like, writing stuff."

"Writing?" Mom asks. "What have you been writing?"

"What happened when I fell down. In the Underground." I say.

"Oh, glorious!" Mom says. "Well, pardon me. I was just going to ask if you wanted to come shopping with me. Unless…"

"No, I'm done," I say. "Writing the last words. I'm gonna send this to Jessica to suss out."

"You must invite this Jessica over," Mom says. "She sounds lovely."

"Yeah, she's cool beans," I say. "I'll be down soon. I just gotta do this."

"Okay, my child. I will see you soon!" Mom says. She leaves. Cool beans. Oh, where was I? Oh yeah. Thanks to you, reader, you're awesome sauce and jazz. And, remember,

 _STAY DETERMINED!_

I've gotta go now. Mom'll be waiting. I think I can hear Undyne too. I dunno what she's doing. But I don't wanna keep her waiting. This has been Tuesday Dreemurr, and you've been a cheese balls crowd! Later, dudes!

 **~THE END~**


End file.
